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03-23-2010, 08:09 PM
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#1 (permalink)
| | WLS Master Guru
Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Michigan
Posts: 516
Weight Statistics January 2009 Start Date:
Sept 29, 2009 Surgery Date:
5' 2"
Height:
299 lb Start Weight:
176 lb Current Weight:
145 lb Goal Weight:
123 lb Weight Loss:
31 lb Lb Left to Lose:
41.1371237458 % % Lost:
Sept 2010 Goal Date:
Body Mass Index54.6818418314 BMI Start:
32.1873048907 BMI Current:
26.517950052 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
| Ok..... Cool!?!?!?!??
Ok this is some bull.....
First evening all, i will attempt to make this short and sweet. (no male bashing please).
1. Ok so i had a great weekend a party, dinner with friends and I went to see Repo Man (Jude Law looked soooo yummy in that movie) anyway, i had a great wardrobe weekend, great hair weekend (i bought the new wig) and i was just doing my thing. ok cool...
2. i went to workout with my trainer on monday... and i weighed in turns out i am 3lbs from my 6month goal of losing 100lbs by my birthday (btw it is 4/4) so i have like 13 days to do it. ok so i'm thrilled and doing back flips and stuff... ok cool
3. So later on Monday evening i was talking to my boyfriend and told him the great news about almost being at my goal, and that am 52lbs away from my ulitmate goal of being a slim and sexy 150lbs even... ok cool.
4. My boyfriends reply was "that's great but i have one request" i said ok cool what is the request?? he asked, " Can you go back to the way you use to dress?" WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?
5. So i ask my boyfriend... " what is wrong with the way i dress now? Do i look bad? Is it ugly? what's wrong??? his reply was "I just don't like it?" OK COOL...
- I think that one his friends may have gotten to him... telling him some things that is making him feel insecure... i need for him to realize that he is my boo, and he loved me at 302lbs and was there for me.. and he i know he still loves me, and loves me for who i am... i don't get it. I like my new look.. and i am the happiest with myself then i have been in years... Why is he trying to change me.. i don't look slutty.. or too sexy... just super cute as some people say.... OK COOL....
Just a rant... thanks for reading Holla at yo girl
"it's all a process"
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03-23-2010, 08:44 PM
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#2 (permalink)
| | WLS Mentor
Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: South Central Kentucky
Posts: 1,242
Weight Statistics forever... 10/2007 was my official start date for WLS Start Date:
December 16, 2008 Surgery Date:
5' 3"
Height:
376 lb Start Weight:
192 lb Current Weight:
166 lb Goal Weight:
184 lb Weight Loss:
26 lb Lb Left to Lose:
48.9361702128 % % Lost:
no time limit... just want to be healthy Goal Date:
Body Mass Index66.5981355505 BMI Start:
34.007558579 BMI Current:
29.4023683547 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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Ok, so maybe your new hot body has just got him feeling insecure. Maybe he's noticed other guys checking you out and he's just realized that other people can now see what he's seen all along. ya think?
I'm lucky in that my dh thinks it's hot that other dudes are watching....but I know that for some guys, this could cause some serious insecurities to creep in.
Just sit down and talk to him. Explain that you're happy with your new self and your new style and that you're dressing this way because it makes YOU feel good.... not to draw attention from other men.
Good luck girl. You keep workin' that new hot body! And congrats on that wig, I knew you'd get it! haha
__________________ A great pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do... What lies behind us, and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
~ by Ralph Waldo Emerson ~ |
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03-23-2010, 10:17 PM
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#3 (permalink)
| | Seasoned Veteran
Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Idaho
Posts: 3,952
Weight Statistics Jan 2009 Start Date:
Dec. 22, 2009 Surgery Date:
5' 6"
Height:
317 lb Start Weight:
194 lb Current Weight:
165 lb Goal Weight:
123 lb Weight Loss:
29 lb Lb Left to Lose:
38.8012618297 % % Lost:
May 2011 Goal Date:
Body Mass Index51.1595500459 BMI Start:
31.3089990817 BMI Current:
26.6287878788 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
| Just tell him they dont make that style in skinny clothes  ...and then let him know ho wmuch you apprecitate him and his love ,that no man could ever take his place cause you know he loves you for the real you , the inner you ! Oh and glad you got the wig , did you get the lace front one..they are awesome ! Dont let anyone tell you how to dress , do what works for you !
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03-23-2010, 10:46 PM
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#4 (permalink)
| | Seasoned Veteran
Join Date: May 2008 Location: Just north of Iowa, not far from I-35. 2nd star on the right and straight on 'til morning!
Posts: 8,639
Weight Statistics December 13, 2007 (pre-op liquid diet started) Start Date:
December 27, 2007 Surgery Date:
5' 9"
Height:
280 lb Start Weight:
172 lb Current Weight:
184 lb Goal Weight:
108 lb Weight Loss:
-12 lb Lb Left to Lose:
38.5714285714 % % Lost:
Originally - 12/08. Actually - 8/08. Goal Date:
Body Mass Index41.3442554085 BMI Start:
25.3971854652 BMI Current:
27.1690821256 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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If you want some male opinion on what your boo may be seeing and thinking, post a few pics of you with both styles and we'll let you know how it comes across over on this side of the divide.
CT
__________________ da perfesser
******************* 
Dare to live your dream!! If you want to be healthy for life, do for life the things that get you healthy!! Living healthy takes work. Dying fat is easy!! "That which we persist in doing becomes easier, not that the nature of the task has changed, but that our capacity to do has increased." - HJ Grant "Do, or do not. There is no try!" - Yoda |
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03-23-2010, 10:48 PM
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#5 (permalink)
| | Big Loser
Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: I live in a small town in Maryland.
Posts: 130
Weight Statistics 12/1/09 Start Date:
surgery date was 2/22/10. Surgery Date:
5' 2"
Height:
233 lb Start Weight:
133 lb Current Weight:
135 lb Goal Weight:
100 lb Weight Loss:
-2 lb Lb Left to Lose:
42.9184549356 % % Lost:
a year or two...just want to be healthy! Goal Date:
Body Mass Index42.6116024974 BMI Start:
24.3233610822 BMI Current:
24.6891259105 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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I think that you are right....you probably are attracting attention from other men, and boo is insecure about it. Reassure him, and like steph said, let him know that you are dressing for YOU and not for other men. He is attracted by your newfound confidence, but it also threatens him in that he might be afraid he is gonna lose you. Just keep reasuring him, but don't let it undermine your self confidence or progress. It's all a process, for our family and loved ones as well as for us.
You're doing a great job....just keep being you and he will come around!
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03-24-2010, 07:53 AM
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#6 (permalink)
| | Cub Reporter
Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Upstate NY, near Rochester
Posts: 62
Weight Statistics 2/5/09 Start Date:
8/25/09 Surgery Date:
5' 4"
Height:
242 lb Start Weight:
132 lb Current Weight:
135 lb Goal Weight:
110 lb Weight Loss:
-3 lb Lb Left to Lose:
45.4545454545 % % Lost:
4/10 Goal Date:
Body Mass Index41.5346679688 BMI Start:
22.6552734375 BMI Current:
23.1701660156 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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I am so glad you posted this!! My husband said something similar to me a few nights ago. But mine said it not as discreetly as your boo.... He said "Why are you dressing like an 18 year old?" Now, I am almost 38, so nowhere near 18! And, I think it is nice to actually wear something that doesn't hide me. I am a nurse in a Junior/Senior High School, so I need to dress professionally.
I think it is insecurity on the men's part. My husband says he just doesn't want to share me! Hopefully our guys will get used to the new "us" and learn to love our wardrobes!
__________________
Kristen |
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03-24-2010, 08:07 AM
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#7 (permalink)
| | Guru In Training
Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: New England
Posts: 300
Weight Statistics January 12 Start Date:
Feb. 23, 2010 Surgery Date:
5' 6"
Height:
284 lb Start Weight:
147 lb Current Weight:
170 lb Goal Weight:
137 lb Weight Loss:
-23 lb Lb Left to Lose:
48.2394366197 % % Lost:
Body Mass Index45.8337924702 BMI Start:
23.7238292011 BMI Current:
27.4357208448 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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It must be scary to see someone you love change and realize that she could have anyone now with this new body. Your weight was a little security blanket for him and now he needs to learn to trust that you are not looking for someone better.
I like perfessor's idea. Perhaps it would help for your boyfriend to see that other people think that your dressing is perfectly normal.
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03-24-2010, 08:56 AM
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#8 (permalink)
| | Seasoned Veteran
Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Oklahoma City, Okla USA
Posts: 2,549
Weight Statistics 05/17/02 Start Date:
05/17/02 Surgery Date:
5' 5"
Height:
355 lb Start Weight:
190 lb Current Weight:
175 lb Goal Weight:
165 lb Weight Loss:
15 lb Lb Left to Lose:
46.4788732394 % % Lost:
Body Mass Index59.0686390533 BMI Start:
31.6142011834 BMI Current:
29.1183431953 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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It is always interesting to see the comments other people get in their lives too about how they dress. We lose so much weight, we dress like other people and WE get slammed while the other 'regular' chicks showing waaaayyy more than we do don't?
ridiculous!
The men in our lives when we lose weight do get all insecure for sure. "change back change back' becomes a mantra for some. They don't want to see us get attention from other men, especially when it's attractive younger men.
Too bad most of our 'significant others' aren't the type who LOVE that others look at us and know it doesn't matter because when we get home we are with THEM!
I had a date one night that was late late night and I had to use the r/r as I walked past a group of guys at one of the next table they were looking at me, saying stuff..I just ignored..When i got back to the table my guy told me "wow, those guys went on and on and ON about you after you went by and all I could think (big grin here) was AND SHE WITH -ME-!!!!"...too bad more guys/hubby's/etc couldn't have that same attitude you know?
__________________  (Spring 2004)
(lowest body weight/size) --BREE
- Strength in body is fleeting, but MY strength is from the LORD whose strength never weakens...
--------------------- open RNY 5/17/2002 -166 lbs(-200 at lowest) 8 years post in May 2010 Open major abdominal surgery 4/6/2010 for internal hernia release, extensive scarring removal & Appendix removal |
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03-24-2010, 09:06 AM
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#9 (permalink)
| | WLS Mentor
Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: South Central Kentucky
Posts: 1,242
Weight Statistics forever... 10/2007 was my official start date for WLS Start Date:
December 16, 2008 Surgery Date:
5' 3"
Height:
376 lb Start Weight:
192 lb Current Weight:
166 lb Goal Weight:
184 lb Weight Loss:
26 lb Lb Left to Lose:
48.9361702128 % % Lost:
no time limit... just want to be healthy Goal Date:
Body Mass Index66.5981355505 BMI Start:
34.007558579 BMI Current:
29.4023683547 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
| Quote:
Originally Posted by BreeChick S...HE WITH -ME-!!!!"...too bad more guys/hubby's/etc couldn't have that same attitude you know? | haha Bree! That's the attitude my dh has. He struts around like a peacock. He actually told me the other day, "You know why I don't seem to be watching you when you sing?" I said, "No, why? Because that's annoying!" He said, "Because I enjoy watching all the guys in the room. Because they can't have you, and it's eating them alive." LOL!!
Men are strange creatures.... gotta love em!
__________________ A great pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do... What lies behind us, and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
~ by Ralph Waldo Emerson ~ |
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03-24-2010, 09:43 AM
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#10 (permalink)
| | Cub Reporter
Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Washington, DC
Posts: 91
Weight Statistics April 20,2010 Surgery Date:
5' 10"
Height:
424 lb Start Weight:
175 lb Current Weight:
199 lb Goal Weight:
249 lb Weight Loss:
-24 lb Lb Left to Lose:
58.7264150943 % % Lost:
Sometime 2011 Goal Date:
Body Mass Index60.8310204082 BMI Start:
25.1071428571 BMI Current:
28.5504081633 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
| Take that as a compliment, he is just feeling a little jealous, how cute!  |
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