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03-30-2010, 11:09 AM
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#1 (permalink)
| | Big Loser
Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Ohio
Posts: 187
Weight Statistics Aug 6th 2009 Start Date:
Feb 25, 2010 Surgery Date:
5' 8"
Height:
294 lb Start Weight:
177 lb Current Weight:
160 lb Goal Weight:
117 lb Weight Loss:
17 lb Lb Left to Lose:
39.7959183673 % % Lost:
2011 Goal Date:
Body Mass Index44.6976643599 BMI Start:
26.9098183391 BMI Current:
24.3252595156 BMI Goal:
 |  I have not told my boyfriend
I have recently gotten into a relationship with an ex boyfriend from about 9 months ago. We initially meet each other during the worst times in both of our lives. We starting talking again, when I was 3 weeks out. Like every relationship, I am not sure where this is going but I am kind of scared it might intimidated him, if he knew I had WLS. I am not sure and I have not told him. He asked about my scars and is concerned about my eating. I has also noticed I have lost weight. I did tell him I had surgery, he did not ask what kind, just if I as okay and that I am not dying? lol To tell or not to tell?
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03-30-2010, 11:23 AM
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#2 (permalink)
| | Seasoned Veteran
Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Idaho
Posts: 3,952
Weight Statistics Jan 2009 Start Date:
Dec. 22, 2009 Surgery Date:
5' 6"
Height:
317 lb Start Weight:
194 lb Current Weight:
165 lb Goal Weight:
123 lb Weight Loss:
29 lb Lb Left to Lose:
38.8012618297 % % Lost:
May 2011 Goal Date:
Body Mass Index51.1595500459 BMI Start:
31.3089990817 BMI Current:
26.6287878788 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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I cant seem to keep anything big like that to myself , but it has to be your own decision on what makes you comfortable...If you are dating him often and he was attracted to you heavy , I am sure he wont be alarmed when he learns of your surgery...he sounds like a great guy if he is concerned about your eating , and sounds worried over your health , so maybe you should sit him down and say " I know you concerned about my health , and I had this surgery due to health issues and I want to be healthy " ...good luck , let us know what you decide !
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03-30-2010, 11:31 AM
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#3 (permalink)
| | Seasoned Veteran
Join Date: May 2007 Location: Upstate NY
Posts: 3,239
Weight Statistics April 11th 2007 Surgery Date:
5' 4"
Height:
267 lb Start Weight:
142 lb Current Weight:
150 lb Goal Weight:
125 lb Weight Loss:
-8 lb Lb Left to Lose:
46.8164794007 % % Lost:
Body Mass Index45.8254394531 BMI Start:
24.3715820312 BMI Current:
25.7446289062 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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I would tell him if you think that this relationship is going to continue and go further. Otherwise I would think he may get mad.
Also I think you said your only 3 weeks out. If that is the case, your gonna be loosing alot more weight and Im sure it will come out soon that you had surgery.
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03-30-2010, 11:44 AM
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#4 (permalink)
| | Big Loser
Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 138
Weight Statistics 09/23/09 Start Date:
09/23/09 Surgery Date:
5' 4"
Height:
257 lb Start Weight:
150 lb Current Weight:
150 lb Goal Weight:
107 lb Weight Loss:
41.6342412451 % % Lost:
12/31/2010 Goal Date:
Body Mass Index44.1091308594 BMI Start:
25.7446289062 BMI Current:
25.7446289062 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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It might be cruel to let him think that there might be something seriously wrong with you physically. Just a thought.
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03-30-2010, 12:55 PM
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#5 (permalink)
| | WLS Master Guru
Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Michigan
Posts: 516
Weight Statistics January 2009 Start Date:
Sept 29, 2009 Surgery Date:
5' 2"
Height:
299 lb Start Weight:
176 lb Current Weight:
145 lb Goal Weight:
123 lb Weight Loss:
31 lb Lb Left to Lose:
41.1371237458 % % Lost:
Sept 2010 Goal Date:
Body Mass Index54.6818418314 BMI Start:
32.1873048907 BMI Current:
26.517950052 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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I think you should wait until you guys are together longer... the 3 month mark would be a good time to tell him... the relationship isn't that new however, it is not that old and indepth either.
***
"It's all a process"
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03-30-2010, 04:00 PM
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#6 (permalink)
| | WLS Mentor
Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: South Central Kentucky
Posts: 1,242
Weight Statistics forever... 10/2007 was my official start date for WLS Start Date:
December 16, 2008 Surgery Date:
5' 3"
Height:
376 lb Start Weight:
192 lb Current Weight:
166 lb Goal Weight:
184 lb Weight Loss:
26 lb Lb Left to Lose:
48.9361702128 % % Lost:
no time limit... just want to be healthy Goal Date:
Body Mass Index66.5981355505 BMI Start:
34.007558579 BMI Current:
29.4023683547 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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If it were me, I think I'd tell him. I'd want to be open about it just for the sake of the relationship. If he cares about you, as it sounds like he does, I'd say he'd WANT to know. If you think this relationship might go somewhere, I think that telling him is your best option.
But, that being said, that's just MY opinion....you do what makes you comfortable.
__________________ A great pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do...  What lies behind us, and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
~ by Ralph Waldo Emerson ~  | |
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03-30-2010, 05:19 PM
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#7 (permalink)
| | Cub Reporter
Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: Whitehall, Pa
Posts: 89
Weight Statistics 3/05/10 Start Date:
5' 5"
Height:
227 lb Start Weight:
163 lb Current Weight:
125 lb Goal Weight:
64 lb Weight Loss:
38 lb Lb Left to Lose:
28.1938325991 % % Lost:
June 2011 Goal Date:
Body Mass Index37.7706508876 BMI Start:
27.1216568047 BMI Current:
20.798816568 BMI Goal:
|  Ask yourself
The first thing I think you need to ask yourself is: Have you told anyone about your WLS that might say something to him. If the answer to that question is yes, then the next question you need to ask yourself is: How would he react if someone else told him. I hope that these 2 questions help you in making your decision on whether you should tell him or not.
mitzanne
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03-30-2010, 06:37 PM
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#8 (permalink)
| | WLS Mentor
Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: San Antonio, Tx
Posts: 1,100
Weight Statistics Liquid diet July 5, 2010 Start Date:
July 12, 2010 Surgery Date:
5' 1"
Height:
323 lb Start Weight:
221 lb Current Weight:
150 lb Goal Weight:
102 lb Weight Loss:
71 lb Lb Left to Lose:
31.5789473684 % % Lost:
24 months Goal Date:
Body Mass Index61.0236495566 BMI Start:
41.7530233808 BMI Current:
28.3391561408 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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I too would tell him... As everyone said tho the decision is yours. I have not had my surgery yet but when I do if anyone wants to know how I am loosing weight I will tell them about the surgery...but thats just me~ | |
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03-30-2010, 06:54 PM
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#9 (permalink)
| | Guru In Training
Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Philadelphia, PA
Posts: 203
Weight Statistics 1/11/10 Start Date:
January 25, 2010 Surgery Date:
5' 8"
Height:
237 lb Start Weight:
154 lb Current Weight:
150 lb Goal Weight:
83 lb Weight Loss:
4 lb Lb Left to Lose:
35.0210970464 % % Lost:
One Year Goal Date:
Body Mass Index36.0317906574 BMI Start:
23.4130622837 BMI Current:
22.8049307958 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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You know - this is something I've wondered about myself. I've only recently started dating again b/c I finally feel beautiful again. My biggest concern is when to tell a guy. Clearly I'm not going to tell a guy that I'm not serious about because its none of his business but at what point do you break your silence and tell them? I'd like to think that your heart will tell you when is right and if he loves you for you then he'll be happy you made this choice to make yourself healthy. Only you can answer this one but go with your heart on it! GOOD LUCK!!
__________________ Marti 
Lost 18 lbs prior to surgery
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03-30-2010, 09:57 PM
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#10 (permalink)
| | Seasoned Veteran
Join Date: May 2008 Location: Just north of Iowa, not far from I-35. 2nd star on the right and straight on 'til morning!
Posts: 8,639
Weight Statistics December 13, 2007 (pre-op liquid diet started) Start Date:
December 27, 2007 Surgery Date:
5' 9"
Height:
280 lb Start Weight:
172 lb Current Weight:
184 lb Goal Weight:
108 lb Weight Loss:
-12 lb Lb Left to Lose:
38.5714285714 % % Lost:
Originally - 12/08. Actually - 8/08. Goal Date:
Body Mass Index41.3442554085 BMI Start:
25.3971854652 BMI Current:
27.1690821256 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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You are poised right on the edge of the fastest, most remarkable weight loss experience of your life. You'll be going through clothes like a movie star - wear 'em a week and get something new.
If you have the kind of relationship where you're showing him your WLS scars, you think he isn't gonna notice something like this??
If I were him, I would be hurt that you didn't think I could be trusted with what will soon be the most important thing in your life. How's that gonna help hang onto him?
CT
__________________ da perfesser
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Dare to live your dream!!
If you want to be healthy for life, do for life the things that get you healthy!! Living healthy takes work. Dying fat is easy!! "That which we persist in doing becomes easier, not that the nature of the task has changed, but that our capacity to do has increased." - HJ Grant
"Do, or do not. There is no try!" - Yoda
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