[annzangels]

I am going back to work on Tuesday and I am really nervous. I took alot of flak about having this surgery before I left and now I am afraid of thier reactions. My co-workers seem to think I did this to get a vacation. They told me that since I lost 45 pounds pre surgery I could do this on my own. I tried to explain that I have done it before but I just ended up re gaining and this time I wanted a permanent fix. They did not understand. They feel I left them understaffed and underskilled.( I am the senior nurse on our shift.) I go back to work for two weeks and then my husband has his surgery and I will be gone another two weeks ( they will really be pissed). I have lost only 22 pounds post surgery and am afraid they will think I haven't done enough. I have lost inches, the clothing sizes are changing. But what if they don't notice? Then I will hear about how the surgery didn't work! I know that it should not matter....but it does . Sorry for the long post.

[bluedelight]

First off, you did this for yourself. Second, its none of their damn business. Thirdly you did this for yourself.

Their opinions don't matter when it comes to you and your health. One major reason is that unless you work in a hospital and they are doctors specializing in weight loss and weight related health problems, their opinion is an uneducated one.

There is part of our society that loves failure. There are people who like to be surrounded by people who don't meet their standards because it makes them feel good about themselves. Something like an overweight person standing beside someone morbidly obese because it makes them appear smaller and more normal or an average looking person hanging around someone ugly to make them appear to be more beautiful.

If you had this operation to loose weight for the benefit of your co-workers then you made a mistake. If you did this for yourself, for your health, to improve your lifestyle, to make you feel great about yourself as a person, to live a long and productive life then you did it for the right reasons.

I suggest that you minimize your conversations with those skeptical people, change the subject after simply saying you feel great. Let them see the results over the next few months but don't waste your time getting into the details. You will never convince them you did the right thing. They will simply sit back with their unfounded opinions and believe that you took the easy way out.

Next time when someone suggests you took the easy way out, ask them if they made that outfit they are wearing or they bought it. Ask them if they drove to work, took the bus or walked. Did they grow the lettuce in their salad, why are they eating at a restaurant instead of cooking their meals for themselves and while on that subject why do they use the stove when they could collect firewood and rub 2 sticks together and start a fire? I guaranty they took the easy way out.

They sound like the type of people who look for the negatives rather than the positives in life.

You may find, as many of us have, that some of the people we used to associate with we no longer have the same relationship as we did pre op. We find that they are the ones who look for people they feel are inferior to them and now see you as a threat to making them look good. Some were people we felt we had to be around because we didn't feel we were good enough for others.

We may have lost weight and size, but we OUTGREW some of the people we thought were friends from before.

[Missyshel]

I took two weeks off from work as well. And, at the worst possible time for the law firm. But, oh well! They dealt with it. I would just tell him to suck it! LoL Let them be pissed!

It doesn't matter if they don't notice, as long as you do! =)

[judijo]

I swear sometimes peoples reactions are more painful than the surgery itself.

You are entitled to medical leave or even vacation. In the medical field there is NEVER a good time. Trust me, I know. You are also entitled to care for a sick child or spouse. That should be a no-brainer and any comments otherwise that is beyond a mention should be reported to HR.

This is NOT an elective surgery. It is a medical intervention, and if YOU see it this way and act accordingly, the comments will stop immediately.

Just like any other project at work, be prepared.

You may have to be a bit stand-offish with co-workers. There are those who are truly trying to look out for your best interests. There are also those who are jealous. And worst, there are those in the sidelines waiting to see "yet another" fail. Just "love" them all. lol

Hang in there...keep us posted.

[DocSanae]

You did this for your health, so hold your head high. No need to explain yourself, really, plus, they will see the plus side of things, once you get your energy level up, and can be more active at work than you were when you carried excess weight.
(((HUGS)))

[MyTurn2009]

Oh, things like this drive me crazy! Some of my coworkers said the same thing to me, since I had lost 45 lbs prior to surgery. I got the typical remarks like :just keep up what you are doing". I handled it simply by looking at them and saying that I know I won't be successful in the ultimate goal without medical intervention. I had done this too many in the past by myself and ultimately failed, each time bringing on more weight. I told them that I had been researching this for months and becoming educated about the complexities about being morbidly obese and how difficult it is to control it. I said I would glad to have lunch with them sometime and show them where they could begin to find out the information if they were really interested in finding out about it. Never heard another word from them, and by the time surgery rolled around, they all were much more supportive. Not that I really care, I did it for me. I just didn't want to hear the negative comments when I returned.
Nancy

[SummerBreeze]

Isnt it terrible what a head game people seem to play on us all after our surgery ? Makes me wanna say SCREW them all...reading your post on going back to work and them not thinking you have lost enough weight and left them short staff kinda was like a wake up call to me....perhaps thats why I worry about the dinner of hubbies management teams this Tuesday....I am sure he was judged on why he needed to be with me all that time , 8 days in hospital a month at home..his bosses brother in law had it done around same time I did and was back on the go quite fast , umm he was in his 20s also lol and I doubt he had scar tissue from womens operations, so I just know I am gonna be and have been compared to him in thier minds...I hope your day back at work is not stressful on you and remember to keep hydrated ! , Annie

[annzangels]

Thanks everyone, you have put this in perspective. I did this for ME to live a better life with MY family. No one can take that away from me. I have dropped inches from a 24W to an 18W, if they can't see that...oh well. I know it.

Blue....you are right. I may just be "outgrowing" some of my former acquaintances. LOL