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07-06-2010, 11:37 AM
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#1 (permalink)
| | Whipper Snapper
Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: New York city
Posts: 31
Weight Statistics 07/17/2009 Start Date:
07/17/2009 Surgery Date:
5' 9"
Height:
374 lb Start Weight:
190 lb Current Weight:
200 lb Goal Weight:
184 lb Weight Loss:
-10 lb Lb Left to Lose:
49.1978609626 % % Lost:
no date Goal Date:
Body Mass Index55.2241125814 BMI Start:
28.0550304558 BMI Current:
29.5316110061 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
 |  Are people not liking the new you?
Is anybody going through with family and friends changing attitude toward your change and your look and judging how you act now to when you were heavier?
I am asking cause I see that going on with my husband, the kids, and even some of my friends. If this is going on with you can you please tell me how you handle it cause I am losing my patience and i am ready to explode!
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07-06-2010, 12:06 PM
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#2 (permalink)
| | WLS Master Guru
Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Birmingham Al
Posts: 685
Weight Statistics July 8th, 2009 Surgery Date:
5' 6"
Height:
259 lb Start Weight:
174 lb Current Weight:
165 lb Goal Weight:
85 lb Weight Loss:
9 lb Lb Left to Lose:
32.8185328185 % % Lost:
July 2010 Goal Date:
Body Mass Index41.79912764 BMI Start:
28.0812672176 BMI Current:
26.6287878788 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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Yes I think alot of us suffered thru our loved ones negativity. For my husband, I emphasized over and over that the primary goal for my change is better health, longer life. He still didn't like it, so I stopped sharing my scale success, and when I need to vent I come here, not to my family. They don't know how much I weigh or what size clothes I wear because it seemed to upset them whenever I said something. I love my family very much, but I told them up front how their comments hurt and frustrated me, and to stop it. I don't comment if they gain weight, get a new pimple, or some other changes in them. Now they tease me about my new 'swagga' attitude. We're all working together to deal with all of our changes.
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07-06-2010, 12:07 PM
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#3 (permalink)
| | Seasoned Veteran
Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Idaho
Posts: 3,952
Weight Statistics Jan 2009 Start Date:
Dec. 22, 2009 Surgery Date:
5' 6"
Height:
317 lb Start Weight:
194 lb Current Weight:
165 lb Goal Weight:
123 lb Weight Loss:
29 lb Lb Left to Lose:
38.8012618297 % % Lost:
May 2011 Goal Date:
Body Mass Index51.1595500459 BMI Start:
31.3089990817 BMI Current:
26.6287878788 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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Sometimes I feel like some people are nto as friendly now as they were before I lost weight...but then think about this, we are not as dependent on anyone like we were when fat , be it dependent cause of someone to eat with, visit with, or to help us do things we couldnt do before, after all we were quite dependent on them werent we?...I know I am the same person but sometimes some people who lose weight act a lil holier than thou once they lost thier weight, not saying you are, but perhaps some read that into it cause of thier own insecurities ...Like gee-ma has said recently and several others have said, family members/friends say "whats wrong isnt my food good enough for you" , or "you're not eating enough to feed a bird" yada yada yada...so many reasons, just be true to yourself and become the healthy beautiful person you are and things will all fall into place I am sure...hugs, Annie
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07-06-2010, 12:09 PM
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#4 (permalink)
| | WLS Master Guru
Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: São Paulo, Brazil
Posts: 620
Weight Statistics Jan 7th, 2010 Surgery Date:
5' 2"
Height:
232 lb Start Weight:
129 lb Current Weight:
130 lb Goal Weight:
103 lb Weight Loss:
-1 lb Lb Left to Lose:
44.3965517241 % % Lost:
Dec 2011 - Achieved in Jan 2011 Goal Date:
Body Mass Index42.4287200832 BMI Start:
23.5918314256 BMI Current:
23.7747138398 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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Well, sorry, I can't give an opinion on that. I live faaar away from my family and close friends. Other people will drop by and share their experiences, I'm sure.
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Maximum weight: 240
Minimum weight: 110   | |
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07-06-2010, 12:11 PM
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#5 (permalink)
| | Whipper Snapper
Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: New York city
Posts: 31
Weight Statistics 07/17/2009 Start Date:
07/17/2009 Surgery Date:
5' 9"
Height:
374 lb Start Weight:
190 lb Current Weight:
200 lb Goal Weight:
184 lb Weight Loss:
-10 lb Lb Left to Lose:
49.1978609626 % % Lost:
no date Goal Date:
Body Mass Index55.2241125814 BMI Start:
28.0550304558 BMI Current:
29.5316110061 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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Thank u G-ma and summer cause sometimes I am so upset by the things they say I withdraw from them and I feel like I cannot enjoy the new me because of it and that hurts cause my family has always been my priority and my strength but I guess this too shall pass.
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07-06-2010, 10:31 PM
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#6 (permalink)
| | Super Moderator
Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Tokyo, Japan
Posts: 24,786
5' 5"
Height:
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07-07-2010, 12:43 PM
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#7 (permalink)
| | WLS Mentor
Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
Posts: 1,116
Weight Statistics December 1, 2008 Start Date:
January 30, 2009 Surgery Date:
5' 9"
Height:
312 lb Start Weight:
170 lb Current Weight:
165 lb Goal Weight:
142 lb Weight Loss:
5 lb Lb Left to Lose:
45.5128205128 % % Lost:
July 2010 Goal Date:
Body Mass Index46.0693131695 BMI Start:
25.1018693552 BMI Current:
24.36357908 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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Jealousy surfaces, sometimes before surgery, often after surgery. For some people being thinner or more acceptable is their imaginary power over you (in their minds). Once you take away that thread of power, they show their true feelings.
Some people associate with people fatter than them to make them look more normal. This is a time to see who your real friends are.
With respect to generally what is happening, you have gone through physical and mental changes and are continuing to with some counselling about the process. Your friends and family do not enjoy that same transitional time of getting information about the process or going through it.
Concentrate on yourself and on your feelings and your needs. You need to in order to be successful in this journey.
__________________ Two heads are better than one, but one neck is better than two!   | |
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07-07-2010, 02:11 PM
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#8 (permalink)
| | WLS Guru
Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Cheektowaga, New York
Posts: 452
Weight Statistics November7,2007 Start Date:
MARCH 11,2008 Surgery Date:
5' 6"
Height:
289 lb Start Weight:
171 lb Current Weight:
175 lb Goal Weight:
118 lb Weight Loss:
-4 lb Lb Left to Lose:
40.830449827 % % Lost:
1 yr from surgery Goal Date:
Body Mass Index46.6407254362 BMI Start:
27.597107438 BMI Current:
28.2426538108 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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You know since surgery i've definately found out who my true friends are i've only got one  and i'm okay with that . my family still act the same thats a blessing
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07-08-2010, 12:16 PM
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#9 (permalink)
| | Whipper Snapper
Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: New York city
Posts: 31
Weight Statistics 07/17/2009 Start Date:
07/17/2009 Surgery Date:
5' 9"
Height:
374 lb Start Weight:
190 lb Current Weight:
200 lb Goal Weight:
184 lb Weight Loss:
-10 lb Lb Left to Lose:
49.1978609626 % % Lost:
no date Goal Date:
Body Mass Index55.2241125814 BMI Start:
28.0550304558 BMI Current:
29.5316110061 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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Ty bluedelight and poo poo for that advise and I will look into it. I can say coming to this forum has helped alot.
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07-08-2010, 12:27 PM
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#10 (permalink)
| | Big Loser
Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Central California
Posts: 107
Weight Statistics 06-01-10 Start Date:
August 12, 2010 Surgery Date:
5' 5"
Height:
305 lb Start Weight:
128 lb Current Weight:
150 lb Goal Weight:
177 lb Weight Loss:
-22 lb Lb Left to Lose:
58.0327868852 % % Lost:
18 months post op Goal Date:
Body Mass Index50.749112426 BMI Start:
21.2979881657 BMI Current:
24.9585798817 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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We are just begining our journey as we have yet to have our surgeries, our family and friends are extremely supportive so far and that is a blessing. I pray our support doesn't change, but I am in agreement with the statements above, that you will definately find out what relationships in your life or genuine. Sometimes the reactions towards your husband will be that of envy as others may wish they had the opportunity to make these changes and for whatever reason can't or haven't.
As hard as it seems try to take it all with a grain of salt, be happy for your husband and support him more then you ever have as he will need you in his corner. Best of luck to both of you and WTG you for standing by him and holding his hand in this journey.
~DeAnna~
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