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09-14-2010, 08:55 PM
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#1 (permalink)
| | Whipper Snapper
Join Date: Aug 2010 Location: Kirksville, MO
Posts: 40
Weight Statistics 09-22-10 Surgery Date:
5' 7"
Height:
328 lb Start Weight:
190 lb Current Weight:
170 lb Goal Weight:
138 lb Weight Loss:
20 lb Lb Left to Lose:
42.0731707317 % % Lost:
Body Mass Index51.3664513255 BMI Start:
29.7549565605 BMI Current:
26.6228558699 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
 |  Where's the support?
My boyfrind has not read anything about the gastric bypass. Hardly listens to anything I try an tell him about what I am going through, what is going to happen ect. ect. you get the idea. And every night he is trying to get me to eat. I gained a lb. today and I haven't had a bite. He makes it so hard to stay on track.
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09-14-2010, 09:03 PM
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#2 (permalink)
| | Seasoned Veteran
Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: No. Los Angeles County, CA
Posts: 2,849
Weight Statistics 4.29.08 RNY Surgery Date:
5' 8"
Height:
301 lb Start Weight:
168 lb Current Weight:
170 lb Goal Weight:
133 lb Weight Loss:
-2 lb Lb Left to Lose:
44.1860465116 % % Lost:
Body Mass Index45.7618944637 BMI Start:
25.5415224913 BMI Current:
25.8455882353 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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Walk away when he tempts you, or when he irritates you, or when he nags. He is doing it because he is looking out for your best interests, but the fact that he chooses to not be educated on your REAL needs is not your fault. It is funny what we will take from our "loved ones" that we would never tolerate from a stranger.
Stick to your program. My biggest advice is to stop weighing daily. Weight goes up as well as down, as the day goes on. You are not in training to not eat... That will come naturally after the surgery is done. Eat/drink what your surgeon advises for preparation and leave the boyfriend alone to deal as he feels necessary.
My 2 cents...your mileage may vary.
__________________
Judijo 
"Burning out this fuse out here alone" Surgery 4.29.08
11-29-08: Down 90 lbs. Total cholesterol is under 200 for the first time in my adult life!
1.11.09: 100 lbs down! Century Club! WHOO HOO! 
7.10.09 GOL! GOL! GOLGOLGOLGOLGOL! GGGGOOOOLLL!
1.10.10 Still at goal.
2.21.12 up a bit. Back on track, I hope. 
310/176/<164
Starting weight: beginning of nutrition classes, August, 2007 | |
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09-14-2010, 09:10 PM
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#3 (permalink)
| | Whipper Snapper
Join Date: Aug 2010 Location: Kirksville, MO
Posts: 40
Weight Statistics 09-22-10 Surgery Date:
5' 7"
Height:
328 lb Start Weight:
190 lb Current Weight:
170 lb Goal Weight:
138 lb Weight Loss:
20 lb Lb Left to Lose:
42.0731707317 % % Lost:
Body Mass Index51.3664513255 BMI Start:
29.7549565605 BMI Current:
26.6228558699 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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Thanks Judijo
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09-15-2010, 03:29 AM
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#4 (permalink)
| | Super Moderator
Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Tokyo, Japan
Posts: 24,786
5' 5"
Height:
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The best way is to share what you need by having him come along with you to support meetings and some of your appointments.
(((HUGS)))
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09-15-2010, 08:00 AM
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#5 (permalink)
| | WLS Mentor
Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
Posts: 1,116
Weight Statistics December 1, 2008 Start Date:
January 30, 2009 Surgery Date:
5' 9"
Height:
312 lb Start Weight:
170 lb Current Weight:
165 lb Goal Weight:
142 lb Weight Loss:
5 lb Lb Left to Lose:
45.5128205128 % % Lost:
July 2010 Goal Date:
Body Mass Index46.0693131695 BMI Start:
25.1018693552 BMI Current:
24.36357908 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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My wife supported me in loosing weight but didn't support my decision for wls (the easy way out in her mind).
Actually I realized that I would accomplish my goal of loosing weight while she continued spending a lifetime of trying different diets and not having me go along that loosing battle with her.
You need to focus on yourself. You need to be selfish and not analyze what his motives are or reasons for not being supportive. I could list a thousand suggestions why he is not supporting you but that is not important at this stage.
What is important is that you focus on yourself right now. If he wants to come a long for the ride great. If he chooses to support you, even greater but no longer allow anyone to negatively influence you about making a positive, life-time change to yourself.
Find the strength in yourself to do this alone if necessary. Find a local support group (wls group in your town or city) and rely on them and rely for support on people in this forum.
Best of luck, be strong and remember that you have to live with yourself for the rest of your life so you may as well make it the best life and the longest that you possibly can. People who want to tag along and share your life with you will, and the rest will move on.
__________________ Two heads are better than one, but one neck is better than two!   | |
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09-15-2010, 08:02 AM
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#6 (permalink)
| | WLS Mentor
Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
Posts: 1,116
Weight Statistics December 1, 2008 Start Date:
January 30, 2009 Surgery Date:
5' 9"
Height:
312 lb Start Weight:
170 lb Current Weight:
165 lb Goal Weight:
142 lb Weight Loss:
5 lb Lb Left to Lose:
45.5128205128 % % Lost:
July 2010 Goal Date:
Body Mass Index46.0693131695 BMI Start:
25.1018693552 BMI Current:
24.36357908 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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Oh I forgot to add this: My wife is now 100% supportive of my decision and brags about my accomplishment in loosing weight and getting into shape.
She decided to join me in my new life and new body than fight me about what I was doing because in the end I chose to have wls with or without her permission, blessing or support.
Good luck!
__________________ Two heads are better than one, but one neck is better than two! | |
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09-15-2010, 09:07 AM
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#7 (permalink)
| | Seasoned Veteran
Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: No. Los Angeles County, CA
Posts: 2,849
Weight Statistics 4.29.08 RNY Surgery Date:
5' 8"
Height:
301 lb Start Weight:
168 lb Current Weight:
170 lb Goal Weight:
133 lb Weight Loss:
-2 lb Lb Left to Lose:
44.1860465116 % % Lost:
Body Mass Index45.7618944637 BMI Start:
25.5415224913 BMI Current:
25.8455882353 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bluedelight  Oh I forgot to add this: My wife is now 100% supportive of my decision and brags about my accomplishment in loosing weight and getting into shape. |
Yeah, Now that I have had 6 hours of sleep after my initial reply, I must say that my husband really thought my decision to have WLS was a "phase". 2 weeks before surgery, he saw a clip on 60 minutes (found here) that convinced him that this was truly a medical intervention I was seeking. Nice timing...thanks CBS.
__________________
Judijo
"Burning out this fuse out here alone" Surgery 4.29.08
11-29-08: Down 90 lbs. Total cholesterol is under 200 for the first time in my adult life!
1.11.09: 100 lbs down! Century Club! WHOO HOO!
7.10.09 GOL! GOL! GOLGOLGOLGOLGOL! GGGGOOOOLLL!
1.10.10 Still at goal.
2.21.12 up a bit. Back on track, I hope.
310/176/<164
Starting weight: beginning of nutrition classes, August, 2007 | |
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09-15-2010, 09:10 AM
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#8 (permalink)
| | WLS Master Guru
Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Michigan
Posts: 516
Weight Statistics January 2009 Start Date:
Sept 29, 2009 Surgery Date:
5' 2"
Height:
299 lb Start Weight:
176 lb Current Weight:
145 lb Goal Weight:
123 lb Weight Loss:
31 lb Lb Left to Lose:
41.1371237458 % % Lost:
Sept 2010 Goal Date:
Body Mass Index54.6818418314 BMI Start:
32.1873048907 BMI Current:
26.517950052 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
| Bluedelight is right!!
Honey, My boyfriend was the same way in the beginning. Then he finally got it. I am doing this whether he liked it, supported it, blessed it or not, and he understand (and i made it perfectly clear) that i am more than prepared to walk away from him and the relationship. (either roll with me or get rolled over).
***
However, in terms of learning about the surgery... he was more open minded to that because he didn't want me to die...from this, that was his main concern. ( and i understood). But i could also die from weighing 300lbs... so i'll take my chances with WLS.
***
But, you need to focus on yourself, he will come around (if he truely loves you) and if not.. tell 'em to kiss the lowest part of your ass... and bounce. (i know mean right)...
"it's all a process"
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09-15-2010, 09:23 AM
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#9 (permalink)
| | WLS Mentor
Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: South Central Kentucky
Posts: 1,242
Weight Statistics forever... 10/2007 was my official start date for WLS Start Date:
December 16, 2008 Surgery Date:
5' 3"
Height:
376 lb Start Weight:
192 lb Current Weight:
166 lb Goal Weight:
184 lb Weight Loss:
26 lb Lb Left to Lose:
48.9361702128 % % Lost:
no time limit... just want to be healthy Goal Date:
Body Mass Index66.5981355505 BMI Start:
34.007558579 BMI Current:
29.4023683547 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ebonidoll Honey, My boyfriend was the same way in the beginning. Then he finally got it. I am doing this whether he liked it, supported it, blessed it or not, and he understand (and i made it perfectly clear) that i am more than prepared to walk away from him and the relationship. (either roll with me or get rolled over).
***
However, in terms of learning about the surgery... he was more open minded to that because he didn't want me to die...from this, that was his main concern. ( and i understood). But i could also die from weighing 300lbs... so i'll take my chances with WLS.
***
But, you need to focus on yourself, he will come around (if he truely loves you) and if not.. tell 'em to kiss the lowest part of your ass... and bounce. (i know mean right)...
"it's all a process" |  LOL Eboni...I just love you. I love how you just tell it like it is. Truly love it.
I agree 100%. My dh was supportive, but the rest of my family wasn't. I had to explain to them that I was doing this thing, with or without their support... not because I wanted to look like a supermodel, but because I wanted to live. Now, over a year later, I have great support from most of them. They didn't ALL come around, but the ones who didn't... didn't. I'm still very pleased with my decision and my progress.
Hang in there. Best of luck to you!
__________________ A great pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do...  What lies behind us, and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
~ by Ralph Waldo Emerson ~  | |
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09-15-2010, 11:14 AM
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#10 (permalink)
| | Seasoned Veteran
Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Idaho
Posts: 3,952
Weight Statistics Jan 2009 Start Date:
Dec. 22, 2009 Surgery Date:
5' 6"
Height:
317 lb Start Weight:
194 lb Current Weight:
165 lb Goal Weight:
123 lb Weight Loss:
29 lb Lb Left to Lose:
38.8012618297 % % Lost:
May 2011 Goal Date:
Body Mass Index51.1595500459 BMI Start:
31.3089990817 BMI Current:
26.6287878788 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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The number one reason for WLs is for yourself, anyone else that comes along for your incrediable journey is just a bonus in your life...don't let anyone sabbotage that, my hubby is a food enabler/pleaser...he dont want to eat alone (snacks) so he is always asking can I fix you something, would you like some ice cream, my fav is when he brings a pie home and says "oh i brought you a treat"  hmmm me a treat, my lifestyle of eating has changed, why would i need that treat esp a PIE ...Oh well, they all mean well in thier own way, and to this day he still asks if i want something to drink with my dinner lol..I just give him that look and he says "Oh I forgot", nine months and he still forgets i cant drink and eat at the same time, but then its not his responsibility, its mine to take care of myself do as I am told by my dr. and to enjoy life to its fullest !  annie~
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