[amymarie7905]

I apologize in advance for the mature and length of this post. I was talking to my best friends sister tonight (we have been best friends sine 9th grade) She informs me that so called best friend i mad at my and thinks I am a self absorbed stuck up snot (her words not mine). She said she gets very upset when I post updated pics on facebook or undate my online photo albun with new stats. My best friend has not come to me with any of this she just quit calling and coming over and when I try to talk to her it is one word comments. I got really hurt by this and was told by her sister that she is just jealous. It hurts me so much that she didnt even have the respect to come to me with this. Do I try to mend this friendship(she is heavier than I am now and in high school she was a size 6)or do I take it as it is as she has done this sort of thing to me before when something in my life is going right for a change! Please help!
Amy

[SummerBreeze]

Jealousy is an ugly action and word...I feel for you and all I can offer is to talk to her, if she has been a long term freind you need to vent and get this out, my BFF and I have not always got along, jealousy was involved over the years, but we worked thru it within days or weeks, we never gave up cause there is no man no nothing that can replace a BFF. Most likely you are like sisters, sisters fight, bottom line dont let this lil thing ruin a lifetime of freindship. Ask her to walk with you thru this journey that it is important to have her by your side not in your footsteps, then you have to make sure you dont get wrapped up in yourself during the journey, sometimes we need grounded, my gosh we were FAT and now here we are sexy hot mommas and we dont stop and think how we act or what we say that may hurt another, I catch myself sometimes with my BFF of 30 yrs saying something that I think hmmm I know she is a jealous person, I need to restate this, or I give her extra compliments, what goes around comes around, just stay grounded ok

annie~

[amymarie7905]

I am trying to stay grounded! I think it is just the total role reversal that has got her upset. I don;t talk to her about my weight loss much because I know she feels bad about her weight. I did this for my health and it has inproved a lot. She is upset about me posting progress pictures on facebook. Thanks for the reply and advice Summer!
Amy

[gail1011]

I struggle with the "trueness" of a friendship when they "talk about me negatively behind my back" , "when they cannot celebrate good" with me and when "they cannnot come to me with issues they have with me". I believe "best friends' love one another and for me love is not jealous, love wants the best for the other, cries when I cry and celebrates when I celebrate.
I recognize there are seasons in relatonships and sometimes we do have to work through difficulties but for me your friend violated some serious boundaries of "best friend". I would approach her with how I feel about the situation and see if she is willing to continue the friendship with respect--The issue rests inside of her. You are not your size and who you are at your core has not changed. In my opinion a true friend would know that. Perhaps this is too strong of a response...but sometimes we shed more than pounds in this process.

[DocSanae]

I don't think there's any easy answer to this. It might be better to talk with her, or it might be better to leave her alone for the time being. She also may get upset that her sister talked to you about her.
If you want to talk with her about how you feel, make a chance to meet her about something else, and broach the subject if it seems appropriate, might be one way to do it.
(((HUGS))) Hope it all works out in the end.

[amymarie7905]

Doc, I am going to leave it alone for awhile and she will come to me when she is ready! Gail, I think you hit the nail on the head. Thank you so much for the response. I have become way more confident and outspoken with everyone(the ones who were close to me before seen this side of me forever) But I am just me and I am doing what I need to do to get ME healthy right now. If she cannot be here for me in the bad times, maybe she doesn't need to be with me during the good times either!
Amy
Thanks again for the support ladies!

[laughingpainter]

Don't be too hard on her, let her lick her wounds, jealousy is a mean beast! Don't ex her out of your friendship circle until you are sure, beyond a doubt, that she doesn't feel the need to change her attitude. How many times have you been jealous of some one with out the words to express that jealousy? I know for my self that when words aren't forth coming, when I can't explain my feelings, I tend to stay away until I can. Often times I have to apologize for the awkwardness that I have brought to the situation. I do agree, though, that for you hear her reasons for being stand offish from someone else is rather juvinile. Just give her a chance.

[MsVickie]

Oh dear...... Honey I have always said this surgery will make or break a marriage and it always shows whom your true friends really are. Its so sad but its true. I hope she can get a slap of reality soon. Good luck.

[amymarie7905]

Vickie,
So true! My marriage is greatbut this friend ship has been in trouble for a couple years. This happens every time something good happens to me. I am going to give her one more chance but I will lay it on the line and spell out that if we are going to be friends she needs to be honest with me like I am with her and be supportive of me as I am of her!
Amy

[Ang6425]

Some great responses. Thanks for sharing this. I am sure it's hard to talk about. I am hoping my friends will continue to support me and it makes me sad to think that some of my relationships may not survive my transformation. I think that as much as we have to be "strong" to do this, the people that will come on our journey with us have to be strong, too. Good luck! It almost sounds like things haven't been great for a while anyway and this may have inevitable.