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02-16-2011, 09:51 PM
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#1 (permalink)
| | WLS Master Guru
Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: New London, WI
Posts: 692
Weight Statistics 1/13/11 started on pre-op diet Start Date:
August 16, 2011 Surgery Date:
5' 1"
Height:
268 lb Start Weight:
137 lb Current Weight:
125 lb Goal Weight:
131 lb Weight Loss:
12 lb Lb Left to Lose:
48.8805970149 % % Lost:
whenever it happens Goal Date:
Body Mass Index50.6326256383 BMI Start:
25.883095942 BMI Current:
23.6159634507 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
 |  Taking Back Control of ME!!
I had posted earlier about when I went to visit my daughters on Valentine's Day, and the things they said to me that were so hurtful. They both were pissed at me and didn't call me until today. The oldest which is really trying hard to control what I do, started in on me again...BUT, thanks to the support and advice of my new friends here on this forum, this time I just didn't keep quiet. The minute Lisa said, "Well, are you still determined to go through with what I think is a waste of time...", I didn't even let her finish. I told her that the subject is not open for discussion, unless she decides to support me, and if she didn't want to, that's her choice, but I will not discuss anything with her at all about the surgery. Then I told her that her making fun of me by saying I'll have loose skin flapping all over, boobs so saggy that I could tie them behind my neck, etc..I told her that even though she is 31 years old and not a teen living at home anymore, that as her mother, I deserve respect for that fact alone. I told her I would never have tolerated that kind of talk before, and I don't care how old she is, I'll not tolerate it now, because it was totally inappropriate. My mom would have backhanded me into next year if I ever spoke to her like that! I also told her that she was NOT going to pick out the dress that I will wear for her wedding, unless she wants to pay for it. Then I said, "I brought you into this world..you keep this shit up and I'll take you out". She was very quiet and said nothing, and then changed the subject into when we were going to look for flowers, invitations, etc. I never thought she'd give in that easily, and I know she still thinks she's right,but she must have sensed the angry tone in my voice when I told her, so she backed off.. Daughter #2, Sarah, called a half hour later and said that Lisa told her I was going ahead with the surgery, and I cut her off before she got going and told her pretty much the same things as I told my other daughter. That was the end of that. The one they really didn't like was when I told them just because they work in ob-gyn, they have no nursing experience or any correct information about the facts of weight loss surgery, but if they became bariatric nurses in the next few months, then maybe I'd talk to them about, but until then, it is my body, my choice, and even if they disagree with me, I still deserve respect as their mother. She accepted it, well she said she did, but I think she got the message that if she won't support me, we won't discuss it in any way, shape or form. Plus my husband talked to the oldest on Tuesday night about how he was shocked that she was so disrespectful, saying those mean things about me, and that he had better not hear one more word, because he could still give her a spanking! I feel so empowered now; usually I just go along with what my girls tell me to do, but no more. I raised them to adulthood, and now I deserve a life of my own, without having to get their approval. Tomorrow I go for my psych eval. Oh, and I also joined a local fitness facility because I want to get myself in better shape before surgery. I can barely walk from my car to the doctors office without being short of breath. My nut visit went well; I only have one more visit with her, and my primary care doc sent in his letter of recommendation, so I'm well on my way, and no turning back. Sorry this is a long post, but I was so excited that I stood up to my little sweeties and they finally shut-up. I was really depressed about all the things that were said on Valentines Day, but I have gotten so many private messages from very good friends on here, so I was prepared for what I'd say and you all gave me the courage to do what I needed to do. Just a big hug and thanks to all you who have responded! I don't think I could do this without you people!  I'll need you even more in the days before my surgery.
__________________ .....cause I'm country-strong hard to break like the ground I grew up on you may fool me and I'll fall but I won't stay down long cause I'm country-strong. 
Last edited by country_strong; 02-16-2011 at 09:58 PM.
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02-16-2011, 10:13 PM
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#2 (permalink)
| | Seasoned Veteran
Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Iowa
Posts: 1,729
Weight Statistics 1/1/2010 Start Date:
August 3, 2010 Surgery Date:
5' 6"
Height:
292 lb Start Weight:
208 lb Current Weight:
150 lb Goal Weight:
84 lb Weight Loss:
58 lb Lb Left to Lose:
28.7671232877 % % Lost:
December 2011 Goal Date:
Body Mass Index47.1248852158 BMI Start:
33.5684113866 BMI Current:
24.2079889807 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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WOW, the changes are already showing!!! Look at the confidence you are gaining already!!
My oldest didn't act like she cared one way or another and didn't bother even checking on me after surgery. But, she is bi-polar and doesn't have much if any empathy towards others. My other daughter is the complete opposite and would give anyone the shirt off her back.
It hurts to not have the support of family but the decision has to be yours, it is your health and your life. You are doing well standing up for yourself and you will do well on this journey.
__________________
I'm doing this for me, so I can be healthy and live the life that God intended me to live.
23 pounds lost prior to surgery.
Mel
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02-16-2011, 10:41 PM
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#3 (permalink)
| | WLS Mentor
Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: Jackson, Mississippi
Posts: 1,150
Weight Statistics dec. 2010 nutrisystem , surgery process august 2010 Start Date:
April 4, 2011 Surgery Date:
5' 6"
Height:
310 lb Start Weight:
215 lb Current Weight:
180 lb Goal Weight:
95 lb Weight Loss:
35 lb Lb Left to Lose:
30.6451612903 % % Lost:
APRIL 2012 Goal Date:
Body Mass Index50.0298438935 BMI Start:
34.698117539 BMI Current:
29.0495867769 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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Good for you, you are not doing this to please others but for yourselff, my daughter dosen't want me to have surgery either, but she think I may die, she is afraid of surgery period. I just told her my mind is made up and didn't discuss it any more. So good luck I am a little ahead of you but my nut classes are for a month, two days a week. So we can keep each other encourged and up to date. Gods blessings on you.
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02-16-2011, 10:54 PM
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#4 (permalink)
| | Seasoned Veteran
Join Date: May 2008 Location: Just north of Iowa, not far from I-35. 2nd star on the right and straight on 'til morning!
Posts: 8,639
Weight Statistics December 13, 2007 (pre-op liquid diet started) Start Date:
December 27, 2007 Surgery Date:
5' 9"
Height:
280 lb Start Weight:
172 lb Current Weight:
184 lb Goal Weight:
108 lb Weight Loss:
-12 lb Lb Left to Lose:
38.5714285714 % % Lost:
Originally - 12/08. Actually - 8/08. Goal Date:
Body Mass Index41.3442554085 BMI Start:
25.3971854652 BMI Current:
27.1690821256 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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__________________ da perfesser
*******************
Dare to live your dream!!
If you want to be healthy for life, do for life the things that get you healthy!! Living healthy takes work. Dying fat is easy!! "That which we persist in doing becomes easier, not that the nature of the task has changed, but that our capacity to do has increased." - HJ Grant
"Do, or do not. There is no try!" - Yoda
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02-16-2011, 11:17 PM
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#5 (permalink)
| | WLS Master Guru
Join Date: Sep 2010 Location: Oregon
Posts: 863
Weight Statistics 10 yrs old Start Date:
Dec 14, 2010 Surgery Date:
5' 4"
Height:
266 lb Start Weight:
164 lb Current Weight:
140 lb Goal Weight:
102 lb Weight Loss:
24 lb Lb Left to Lose:
38.3458646617 % % Lost:
ASAP Goal Date:
Body Mass Index45.6538085938 BMI Start:
28.1474609375 BMI Current:
24.0283203125 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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Thanks for standing up for yourself. It is very sad to see someone not. I hate watching that sort of thing!
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02-17-2011, 05:32 AM
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#6 (permalink)
| | WLS Master Guru
Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: ohio
Posts: 773
Weight Statistics which time Start Date:
3-14-11 Surgery Date:
5' 1"
Height:
249 lb Start Weight:
181 lb Current Weight:
140 lb Goal Weight:
68 lb Weight Loss:
41 lb Lb Left to Lose:
27.3092369478 % % Lost:
march 2012 Goal Date:
Body Mass Index47.0429991938 BMI Start:
34.1959150766 BMI Current:
26.4498790648 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodOther
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Adult daughters mmm I have a couple. There is a little tension over my surgery but like you we dropped the subject--my daughter was angry super bowl party that I did not have junk food in the house...left and bought a bunch of stuff.
My bigger struggle has been knowing I contributed to their weight problems...but I am clear why surgery is necessary for me!
__________________
Highest weight 286 Gail  | |
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02-17-2011, 08:07 AM
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#7 (permalink)
| | Guru In Training
Join Date: Feb 2011 Location: Pittsburgh Pa
Posts: 252
Weight Statistics birth Start Date:
4/1/2011 Surgery Date:
5' 5"
Height:
282 lb Start Weight:
134 lb Current Weight:
140 lb Goal Weight:
148 lb Weight Loss:
-6 lb Lb Left to Lose:
52.4822695035 % % Lost:
Met 12/21/11 Goal Date:
Body Mass Index46.9221301775 BMI Start:
22.2963313609 BMI Current:
23.2946745562 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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WTG!!
I am so happy for you!
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02-17-2011, 08:12 AM
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#8 (permalink)
| | Super Moderator
Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Tokyo, Japan
Posts: 24,786
5' 5"
Height:
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Good for you!!
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02-17-2011, 08:14 AM
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#9 (permalink)
| | Seasoned Veteran
Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Mississippi
Posts: 5,197
Weight Statistics 3/18/2008 (dieted all my life) Start Date:
9/30/2008 Surgery Date:
5' 8"
Height:
292 lb Start Weight:
192 lb Current Weight:
189 lb Goal Weight:
100 lb Weight Loss:
3 lb Lb Left to Lose:
34.2465753425 % % Lost:
2 years Goal Date:
Body Mass Index44.3935986159 BMI Start:
29.1903114187 BMI Current:
28.7342128028 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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 I am so proud of you. Standing up for what you want and letting them know where they stand is empowering. You did the right thing. I think you will have great success. We are here for you.
__________________   Love to Share , Health to Spare, and Friends that Care!
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02-17-2011, 08:20 AM
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#10 (permalink)
| | WLS Master Guru
Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Horseheads, NY
Posts: 894
Weight Statistics 01/12/09 Start Date:
August 18, 2009 Surgery Date:
5' 6"
Height:
258 lb Start Weight:
135 lb Current Weight:
150 lb Goal Weight:
123 lb Weight Loss:
-15 lb Lb Left to Lose:
47.6744186047 % % Lost:
Summer, 2010 Goal Date:
Body Mass Index41.6377410468 BMI Start:
21.7871900826 BMI Current:
24.2079889807 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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Good for you!!!!
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