[ANSLEY]

My sister is 5 years younger than me. We are night and day. We look like sisters (sorta) She is 5'10 and maybe 130 lbs. Im 5'3 and well you know my weight history. LOL Anyway..She gets mad and cuts off contact with me about 3 times a year. This is nothing new. I saw her at Christmas and everything was fine. We had a great day. Since then she hasn’t returned by calls, texts or facebook messages. Its been 2 months. I don’t know what to do. I love my sister so much. Also I have an awesome brother in law and the most adorable nephew in the world I want to hear about and see pictures of. If she lived close I would just stop by. She lives near Dallas and Im outside of Tulsa. Ive asked my dad what is wrong and he avoids the subject. Which is shocking for my dad because he enjoys drama. An hour ago I sent her a text that said “Im sorry for whatever I did. I love you and I miss talking to you and hearing about my nephew” She has her phone on her all the time. She could’ve responded but hasn’t. Im 35 and she is 30. Our mom died when I was 25 and she was 20.
Losing my mom made me realize that people are not disposable. Seriously, what could be that bad that she wont speak to me? A few weeks for us is normal. We argue, don’t speak and then its like nothing happened. This is different though. Im sitting here at my desk about to cry Im so hurt by this. Im not trying to be the victim. If I have done something to offend or upset her I will sincerely apologize. Any thoughts or advice?

[SummerBreeze]

Okay Lil miss tough gal sometimes you remind of a person with a tougher exterior and your as soft as a fluffy lil kittten on the inside...I hope you take that as compliment, I have seen you grow leaps and bonds during the months you been here..your the type who says what you think and you believe in that and stand on it, which isnt all bad ya know? Lets narrow this down:

Last seen her at xmas.
Ansley could it be you are more self confident now than yrs prior?

Everyone got along at Xmas
Did by any chance her hubby made some Hot remark about or to you ?

Your mom died when you gals were very young
Is there a remote chance she is going thru some health issue and dont want to scare you ?

I am guessing you have took on the mother role since your mom died, maybe she feels like she has lost her mom in an essence and gained a sexy sister I know these things may be nothing but then if only one thing could flicker a lil light on the problem its worth checking out...Also remember that people see us different once we lose our weight, we read it all the time on the boards how our family thinks we have changed..maybe we area lil stuck on ourselves maybe we are actually just damn proud of what we have done, and the long road that took us there...and then maybe I am full of chit and have no dr license to try to phych ya but at least i care enough to throw some options out at ya
annie~

[dixieladybug]

Wish I had an answer to that one. I have one sister and some times we get along great and some times we disagree on a few things but it usually doesn't last very long. I hope that you can figure what the problem is. I do hate family drama. You can't fix the problem if you don't know what the problem is. Just give it some time. I just hope it does not take something serious happening for her to realize just how much she needs her sister. Maybe just a little bit of jealousy there do you think? I know my sister hates that I am smaller than she is now. I will say a prayer that this is worked out soon. We need family. You can pick friends and a spouse but not family you are stuck with them.. lol

[ANSLEY]

HAHAHA I LOVE YOU GIRL! Im not tough. I wish I was. She texted me back and it wasnt nice and/or pleasant at all. I texted back and really its a lost cause. Finally I stopped replying. She holds some anger and resentment towards me. maybe time can fix it, i dont know. It hurts pretty bad right now.

Originally Posted by SummerBreeze

Okay Lil miss tough gal sometimes you remind of a person with a tougher exterior and your as soft as a fluffy lil kittten on the inside...I hope you take that as compliment, I have seen you grow leaps and bonds during the months you been here..your the type who says what you think and you believe in that and stand on it, which isnt all bad ya know? Lets narrow this down:

Last seen her at xmas.
Ansley could it be you are more self confident now than yrs prior?

Everyone got along at Xmas
Did by any chance her hubby made some Hot remark about or to you ?

Your mom died when you gals were very young
Is there a remote chance she is going thru some health issue and dont want to scare you ?

I am guessing you have took on the mother role since your mom died, maybe she feels like she has lost her mom in an essence and gained a sexy sister I know these things may be nothing but then if only one thing could flicker a lil light on the problem its worth checking out...Also remember that people see us different once we lose our weight, we read it all the time on the boards how our family thinks we have changed..maybe we area lil stuck on ourselves maybe we are actually just damn proud of what we have done, and the long road that took us there...and then maybe I am full of chit and have no dr license to try to phych ya but at least i care enough to throw some options out at ya
annie~

[yvonneiam]

Wish I had some words of advice but I think Annie gave some very good advice(she always does)Just this evening my best friend came over and all seemed good then out of the blue she tells my husband(who has weight-health issues)that fat people just can't be around skinny people and gives me a dirty look... WTH!!!!She is over 300 lbs. and is always talking about losing weight but when I ask her to exercise with me its one excuse after another.Anyway her comment really hurt me and she is all the time saying negative things toward me about my weight-body.I hope you are able to resolve this and we are here to lend you support

((((hugs))))Kim

[gail1011]

The most difficult part of relationships is that we have no control over any one but ourselves. The problem rests with her and all you can do is be open to when she might be ready or able to express what is bothering her. In the mean time do what you need to do to reach out and let her know you are there when she is ready to talk. I trust all will be well soon!!

[country_strong]

I know exactly how you feel. I have one sister, 6 years younger than me. We are complete opposites, right from the get-go. Me-short, dark eyes, dark, overweight...her, beautiful blond curls, blue eyes, perfect figure. She has always my mother's favorite, I hung with my dad because I was a tomboy. We never did get along, even as we got older and got married and had kids. She and her mom are the biggest drama queens I have ever known, and they almost ruined my youngest daughter's wedding by acting like jerks. My mom's brother died 7 years ago, and, as he was childless, but very close to me, I inherited what he had, which was not that much, but they thought I got thousands upon thousands. As his casket was being lowered into the ground, my mother and sister, along with other family members were just glaring at me. I never felt such a sense of loneliness; of separation. When the priest left, they attacked me like a bunch of vultures. Now, I had been trying to get my mom's approval since forever, and never could do anything as good as my princess sister.But suddenly I got that "smack over the head" realization that after all these years, I wasn't going to change her, so I just let go of the situation; got in my car and drove away. I haven't seen or spoken to them since then. They have never seen my grandchildren. And I'm at peace with that. When I realized that I cannot control people and make them feel the way I want them to, I was at peace with the decision. If I never talk to them again, that's their choice, and I'm ok with it. Lots of my life struggles have had to do with trying to control people, places, situations, etc., to the point that I felt my life was insane. Once I turned that control over to He who is the one in control, problem solved. Sure, it hurts that I don't have mu mom or sister to confide in, and my dad died a long time ago. But I focus on what I have, and I'm grateful for that much. And that experience reminded of what I face now; my daughters disapproval, but I made my choice and thats that.

[Karlos]

Hay Brooks knowing you as I do I don't doubt that the problem is with your kid sister rather than anything you could have done. These things happen in families and though its hard right now all you can do is leave the door open for her to stop this nonsense.

I am in no position to give you any advice as I have two sisters one blood relative two years younger, and one adopted who is 12 years younger I think. In the past twelve years or so I have only spoken to either of them at our parent's funerals and could not care less if I never speak to either of them ever again. In fact I was in Starbucks a couple of Sundays ago and the younger one was in there. Though she recognized Val she obviously had no idea who I was

You know it makes me sad to think of you being unhappy about anything and something that can cut as deep as a family rift is hard to deal with especially when you don't even know why. I hope two things for you, that she realizes how lucky she is to have such a really great sister who cares despite everything, and that you got your hot water back on.

Catch you later mate

[ANSLEY]

thanks Karl...hot water will be back on today (fingers crossed) we had to order a part. I wish I could say Im fine with never seeing or talking to her again. The sad fact is..Im not.

[Karlos]

Of course you're not, because you're a lovely person who really cares about your sister and your relationship. It's her choice Brooks and all you can do is what you have done already left the door open for he to get in touch when she comes to her senses and realizes what she is doing is a mistake. You're a heck of a girl Brooks don't beat yourself up over this. It will be fine xxx