[Pansy1]

Hi,

I'm Pansy and I'm new here. I haven't filled in a Profile yet because I can't think yet to write. Mostly because I am fraught with worry about my sister. She is nearly 6 months post gastric by-pass. It was so rough in the beginning with an infection that took forever to heal. Her doctor was not supportive. I was also scheduled to have the surgery the month following hers, but after I chickened out. Since the surgery, there has been one health crisis after another. She is losing weight rapidly, but also muscle tone. She doesn't look well and is always exhausted. She isn't able to keep food down. During brief periods that lasted a month, she was able to eat a bit of solid food. But she hasn't eaten anything in several days. She's so weak and I'm scared for her. She keeps saying this is normal--I can't believe that. Please--have any of you experienced the same problems? We can't count on the staff involved in the surgery--they practically abandoned my sister when she most needed them.

[dixieladybug]

I am so sorry to hear this. NO this is not normal. She needs to see the doctor that did her surgery. Something in not right. If they wont see her maybe another doctor. You are right to be worried. Sounds like she could have a sticther. Has she had any test done to check this? I hope and pray that she gets better soon. This is not the way it usually goes. You might not have any problems at all. I know because what has happened to her you are scared. I think I would find another doctor for sure. Please let us know how she is doing.

[Dr. Mel]

Ditto...try going back to surgeon that did it, and if no results, find another to help. Lab values should show where she is (like malnourished). A urine test can show dehydration, but so can sticking out your tongue or taking a look at the pee in the toilet. When you see "Dr. Mel" understand I'm a nurse practitioner and not a medical expert about weight loss surgery. Sounds like she needs to go to one!

[DocSanae]

Welcome to the board, thank you for joining us.
(((((HUGS))))) May your journey go well.

Your sister should be seen by a competent medical professional if her surgeon won't tend to her. She may have a stricture, but also, from what you have written, she may be severely dehydarted as well. How are her vitamin levels, these need to be checked too, to make sure she isn't suffering from any defficiencies.
Hope she gets the help she deserves as quickly as possible.

[not quite Barbie]

Losing muscle tone is NOT GOOD! Her heart is made of muscle so she could be damaging her heart. Dehydration causes a downward spiral which just keeps getting worse and worse. Since she's not been eating right for a long time her vitamin and minerals are going to be way off which means she can't support bodily functions like she needs to. Low B12 can lead to permanent neurological injuries - she could end up in a wheelchair for life!

She is in danger. I'm sorry that her surgeon hasn't been helpful but that's no excuse for letting her just get sicker and sicker. If she can't-won't take care of herself then she needs someone like you to drag her to a doctor. Call her primary doctor and tell him what you told us and get her seen ASAP. If that doesn't happen, drag her to an ER. She needs treatment now.

[Pansy1]

I sincerely apologize to everyone for just getting back to you. I have experienced multiple frustrating problems getting access to the site after forgetting my password.
I really appreciate responses from so many kind people regarding my dilemna. Since the completion of the surgery several months ago, she's been to the ER several times for various complications. She is severely malnourished and dehydrated (per the last ER doc). Yet, every professional has said that they don't know what can be done about her problems--or they just keep referring her to the surgeon who did this. She cannot keep foods down--even water. The idea of food makes her sick. She states emphatically that another bariatric surgeon or doctor will not treat her because of a perceived conflict with a colleague. She's lost nearly one hundred pounds--none of it in a healthy way. She is as sick as she was prior to the surgery--just in a different way.
The problem is that she will not listen to any suggestions or advice coming from me. I have tried cajoling, pleading, firmness and now we are down to arguing. I don't want to argue anymore. I'm very tired. She is an adult with nearly adult children, so legally I cannot force her into anything. There is no other help than me, and although it kills me to see this, I can't do this anymore.
As I think I mentioned, I had been scheduled for the surgery as well--not much later than hers occurred. I was very conflicted--about the changes to my body, whether I could really make this work, and most importantly--how long it would be before my employers manufactured a reason to punish me for needing to take a few weeks off to heal. In the end, fear of my boss won out! I've been doing it through diet and exercise and have lost 33 lbs.
Wish I could help my sister--when I said we'd keep looking until we found help, she was angry with me and communication ceased. So that is that.

Thank-you again all you wonderful ladies who kindly listened and responded to my message. I read your profiles and you're more courageous and extraordinary than I could ever be.

Pansy.

[Tupper_Mom]

Pansy,

My dear, hearing that you both are going through this, breaks my heart, it truly does. I'm scared for her and I am so very sad for you. I can't even imagine what you're going through. Has she explained why she won't listen to you? To me, it would seem that with all that's going wrong, I wouldn't be cutting off the one breaking their back to actually help me when everyone else is passing it off.

Aside from this...here is my advice to you. You've done well coming here...these are some of the finest people I've ever had the pleasure of "knowing" not only will they tell you like it is, and share their experiences, which will give you a ton of information, but also support, and yes, the occasional kick in the butt when it's needed. What I'm suggesting is that you fill out your stats and stay. we'd love to help support you through your weight loss journey. I'm living, breathing, walking proof that you don't HAVE to be a WLS patient to find a wonderful warm welcome here. I really and truly don't think I would be where I am today if it were not for the wonderful people here. Stick around, we'll gladly dust off a spot on the loser's bench for you. At the same time, you have a valuable source of information as things go along not only with you, but your sister as well. Plus this is an awesome place to come and just simply vent, sadness, frustration, fears, you name it, somebody here has dealt with it.

Anyway, hun, those are my 2 cents worth, for whatever they're worth. Take care and hope to see you around.

Joanne

[kdsmiles]

I may be wrong but just a few suggestions:

Contact her Insurance, the ones who paid for the surgery.

Contact the Medical board and file a complaint

Just me, but I wouldn't give up. This is why most Insurance companies "require" these procedures to be done by COE's now! (Center of Excellence) and only surgeon's who practice at COE's. This is NOT acceptable or a standard by any means. My Insurance required the COE, so I drive 4 hours one way for each appt., and 4 hours back, but I know I am in the best of care! I think her Insurance once notified will require her to have labs and follow through testing as well as contact her PCP (Primary Care Physican) who needs to take charge of her health!

I am so sorry your going through this and my prayers are with you and your Sister!!

[Dr. Mel]

I am still hoping your sister gets the appropriate care...I think contacting the insurance company is a good idea. Perhaps they can refer to another bariatric surgeon/center. Now I am a tad confused...some things my surgeon handles, but it has been with the understanding that I will follow with him for the first year, and then my primary care doctor will take over the follow up on vitamins later down the road. That was part of my pre-op work up...having a PCP in place that could also follow my needs. My PCP did labs at my request before I got them at the surgeon's office.

If she is unable to eat or drink, I too fear that she is unable to get the vitamins in like she should. The B vitamins are critical for mental/neurological function. Also, loosing muscle mass can cause cardiac (heart) problems. You are probably already aware of this, but just want to make sure it is stressed enough.

Have you thought about showing your sister these messages, or would that cause even more conflict? I hope she will listen to you. Sounds like you're a good advocate for her.

Best wishes,
Mel

[Arianne311]

My godmother had similar complications and her doctors determined that her body did not know how to process food because she had been on a shake diet for 6 weeks prior to surgery and then of course for weeks after surgery. She was placed in a nursing home for a year while they trained her body to process food. She is about 6 years out and she is doing great.
It took one hospital visit out of town for it to be determined. Her surgeon didn't know what was going on either and kept writting her off.
I hope they can figure out what is going on with your sister. And best of luck to you, and I would say if your goal is still to have surgery you just need to find a doctor you are comfortable with. I drove an hour and a half to find the perfect doctor for me.