[Exhorter]

I need some advise please. I am involved with the church I attend and everyone that knows me has seen me lose weight up to 100lbs and then gain it all back and more. I have done this for the past 10 years. I lose and gain back and forth. Family and friends mean well but they have seen me do this time and time again.
When I finally got some insurance and told them I was going to have the surgery I truely expected that I would get lots of negitive talk from them. But much to my suprise I have not had one negitive thing spoken. As a matter of fact when I get negitive they will correct me.

Here is the thing. Over the past couple of months as they have seen me get things in order for the surgery and have heard my prayer request. They are beginning to think that they know everything about the surgery. Some have even told me "ok so we are going to watch you like a Hawk to make sure you do this thing right." WE love you and want this to work this time. I have heard these words " I hope you don't get offended if I see you eating to much if I tell you". Several of us go out to eat on Sunday's after church then plus we have Friday night fellowship where we come together every week and eat dinner. So they are always there to see me eat. The thing is they are telling me you know that you will only be able to eat about three spoons full of food and then you are finished. Now at this point and time I just say to them yes my life is going to change.

I know that after the surgery and up to two years I will lose most of my weight, but then I also have read that many who have surgery do end up eating a normal portion of food once their bodies adjust. So if you were me would you talk to them and prepare them that I will not always eat only two or three spoons full of food. Also that there is a chance I could even gain some weight back after my body get adjusted. I know they are just looking out for me but I just want them to understand that I have several changes coming and that I really do plan to obey the rules given to me by my dr.

Any suggestion on how I can present this to the church and the members who really do care about me and love me?

[DocSanae]

Hmmm. There are so many info, good and bad, correct and incorrect, that bounce around all over, so it's not going to be easy, especially when everyone loves you and are concerned in each their own ways.
You could send them over to sites like here, the site your surgeon has, for one.
For another, you can give them the basic guidelines and info that NIH has set up. The link to the guideline.
WIN - Publication - Gastrointestinal Surgery for Severe Obesity
You could start educating from there.

Now, the best thing for you, is for them to leave you alone, and let you go along your journey as your body adjusts to everything, which, as you know, differs with everybody.

((((((HUGS))))))

[Exhorter]

Thanks Doc I guess education is the best tool for them. That is why I was asking if I should take the time to try and let them know that people are different with different bodies and while it is a tool to help us each person had different needs and things that they face. AGain thanks doc for the info you post.

[DocSanae]

Since everyone knows, yes, I think the best way it to educate them, even though it may be stressful for you.
Who knows, someone else who may benefit from the surgery will get the courage to look into this because of your providing accurate info.
Incidentally, here's the link to a thread LisaMarie put up on pouch rules. This is also a very good article on what to expect post op.
http://www.renewedreflections.com/fo...ules-long.html
And another one on "myths".
http://www.renewedreflections.com/fo...ies-myths.html

[ChuppyGirl]

Exhorter,

(((((HUGSS))))) first!, and second I don't blame you if I were in your shoe I would be puzzled and pissed off and all sort of things! that's y I've chosen not to tell everyone about my surgery. You know that mommy thought for 2 months that I had my gallbladder removed and that's all! when I told her she freaked out and was all over the place! only my parents, siblings, hubby and ONLY 2 OF MY CLOOOOOOOOOSE FRIENDS knew about the surgery the rest of the world think I'm dieting! and sure I am!! I'm dieting and working out like hell! I can't assure DocSanea's word that the WLS is there just as a helping tool, if you misuse it, you'll end up like me prior 4/18/06! I had a gastric band and have gained tones with it!
Don't give a damn about what people would think or say! I truly believe this is a very personal issue and no one should look at what goes in my mouth! it's my MOUTH!!!!!!!!!

Hugs
Hanadi

[Exhorter]

Thanks Doc and Hanadi, I do think education is the best way to go. I know that I have just heard and have known people who have had surgery and are gaining their weight back again. So I know they will be watching and waiting. But I will just have to deal with the issues as they unfold. Most are so supportive. There is another lady in our church who is having the lab band done in about 3 months. We are a small church so everyone knows everyone's business. LOL plus we are all very close!! I know they are only trying to look out for me.