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07-20-2011, 06:45 PM
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#1 (permalink)
| | Cub Reporter
Join Date: May 2011 Location: Braintree, MA
Posts: 81
Weight Statistics November 15, 2011 Surgery Date:
5' 8"
Height:
281 lb Start Weight:
188 lb Current Weight:
180 lb Goal Weight:
93 lb Weight Loss:
8 lb Lb Left to Lose:
33.0960854093 % % Lost:
Body Mass Index42.7212370242 BMI Start:
28.5821799308 BMI Current:
27.365916955 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
|  Why does everyone try to help you...but not really!
I went to my last nutritionist appt today and was feeling pretty good (down 6lbs too) its getting closer to surgery and I was feeling great...until my Aunt calls. This is a woman that has been overweight her whole life has been on Weight watcher, Jenny Craig, NutriSystem you name it she has been on it. So now she calls to tell ME that having surgery is not the right thing to do and I have to go with her to her Food Addicts meeting and its best thing since who knows what (mind you she did this same thing 2 years ago and gave it up and put all her weight back on).
Why do people think they know what is best for you? I guess its my own fault for even saying anything but I have decided its not a secret....I am having surgery and thats that. I guess I just needed to vent. Thanks for listening!!!!
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07-20-2011, 07:09 PM
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#2 (permalink)
| | Seasoned Veteran
Join Date: May 2008 Location: Just north of Iowa, not far from I-35. 2nd star on the right and straight on 'til morning!
Posts: 8,639
Weight Statistics December 13, 2007 (pre-op liquid diet started) Start Date:
December 27, 2007 Surgery Date:
5' 9"
Height:
280 lb Start Weight:
172 lb Current Weight:
184 lb Goal Weight:
108 lb Weight Loss:
-12 lb Lb Left to Lose:
38.5714285714 % % Lost:
Originally - 12/08. Actually - 8/08. Goal Date:
Body Mass Index41.3442554085 BMI Start:
25.3971854652 BMI Current:
27.1690821256 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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Your aunt has to live with her ways of dealing with weight, you have to live with yours. You have chosen a different path. Maybe she is afraid of it. After all, she's an "expert" at losing weight. How many times in how many ways has she lost 10-20 pounds or more? How many times in how many ways has she regained 15-25 pounds or more?
WLS has the potential to give you permanent results - IF you do your part. To work, it relies on plain old-fashioned hard work and following the rules. This requires a lot more personal responsibility and accountability than any of your aunt's ways - the way she does them.
A lot of people don't want to lose weight as much as they want to be seen to lose weight. The latest diet gives them something new to talk about as they sit around eating cheeseburgers and fries - but with a diet cola! It's a social thing.
You have decided to do this for your own reasons, but for most of us it was because we looked a short way into the future and saw the Grim Reaper grinning at us. Our focus is different. Your aunt's dieting satisfies her needs. Permanent weight loss and restoration of health satisfies ours. You don't have to read a whole lot of threads here to realize that as a group, we are having a ball being the new us!!
Don't let her get to you. She applies her standards to you and acts accordingly. If you apply your standards to her, you'll get frustrated, because you two aren't playing the same game, or even on the same field! Do your thing, no apologies, no excuses, and see what she says at Christmas! 
CT
__________________ da perfesser
*******************
Dare to live your dream!!
If you want to be healthy for life, do for life the things that get you healthy!! Living healthy takes work. Dying fat is easy!! "That which we persist in doing becomes easier, not that the nature of the task has changed, but that our capacity to do has increased." - HJ Grant
"Do, or do not. There is no try!" - Yoda
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07-20-2011, 07:23 PM
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#3 (permalink)
| | Cub Reporter
Join Date: May 2011 Location: Braintree, MA
Posts: 81
Weight Statistics November 15, 2011 Surgery Date:
5' 8"
Height:
281 lb Start Weight:
188 lb Current Weight:
180 lb Goal Weight:
93 lb Weight Loss:
8 lb Lb Left to Lose:
33.0960854093 % % Lost:
Body Mass Index42.7212370242 BMI Start:
28.5821799308 BMI Current:
27.365916955 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
| You got it!
Thanks Perfessor you totally hit the nail on the head. And you reminded me I can remember years ago her telling me she would go weigh in to Weight Watcher and then meet her friends and go for ice cream!!!
Yes I am so ready for this and doing it for myself and I am ready for all the hard work. I tried to explain that this isn't easy but then decided why bother she has her mind made up!!!
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07-20-2011, 07:37 PM
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#4 (permalink)
| | Seasoned Veteran
Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Mississippi
Posts: 5,197
Weight Statistics 3/18/2008 (dieted all my life) Start Date:
9/30/2008 Surgery Date:
5' 8"
Height:
292 lb Start Weight:
192 lb Current Weight:
189 lb Goal Weight:
100 lb Weight Loss:
3 lb Lb Left to Lose:
34.2465753425 % % Lost:
2 years Goal Date:
Body Mass Index44.3935986159 BMI Start:
29.1903114187 BMI Current:
28.7342128028 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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I understand what you are saying. I had a few relatives tell me that I should not have surgery. It has been the best thing I have ever done for myself. Stick to your guns and don't let anyone change your mind. It is a life changing journey. Good luck...
__________________   Love to Share , Health to Spare, and Friends that Care!
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07-20-2011, 08:28 PM
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#5 (permalink)
| | Big Loser
Join Date: May 2011 Location: San Jose, California
Posts: 153
Weight Statistics Al my life Start Date:
When it's time... Surgery Date:
5' 4"
Height:
244 lb Start Weight:
237 lb Current Weight:
130 lb Goal Weight:
7 lb Weight Loss:
107 lb Lb Left to Lose:
2.86885245902 % % Lost:
All in Gods time Goal Date:
Body Mass Index41.8779296875 BMI Start:
40.6765136719 BMI Current:
22.3120117188 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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Libby,
I can completely relate.... My mother-in-law always says she's on a diet, that she lost 70 lbs with WW, but gained it all back and how she ate only steak and salad back when she waitressed (40 years ago) and couldn't understand why now, it doesn't work.
She's told me every horror story she has heard, because she feels it HER place to tell the WORLD I'm having WLS. (My husband told his boss and several co-workers)
I finally had to say, hey, this is MY business and not the WORLDS.. My MIL response was...well, you told Aunt Dolly... Yes, I did tell Aunt Dolly, but that was MY choice not hers.
I'm just keeping to myself now about me... I'm not even going to tell her when my surgery is, until 1 week before. We live on the same property so I see her several times a day.. Oh well... Wow, I needed to vent too...
__________________ 
Best wishes always
Kathy
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07-20-2011, 08:40 PM
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#6 (permalink)
| | Seasoned Veteran
Join Date: May 2008 Location: Just north of Iowa, not far from I-35. 2nd star on the right and straight on 'til morning!
Posts: 8,639
Weight Statistics December 13, 2007 (pre-op liquid diet started) Start Date:
December 27, 2007 Surgery Date:
5' 9"
Height:
280 lb Start Weight:
172 lb Current Weight:
184 lb Goal Weight:
108 lb Weight Loss:
-12 lb Lb Left to Lose:
38.5714285714 % % Lost:
Originally - 12/08. Actually - 8/08. Goal Date:
Body Mass Index41.3442554085 BMI Start:
25.3971854652 BMI Current:
27.1690821256 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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Libby, if it ever comes up, tell your aunt that she is the one looking for the easy way - and look at her results!! Ya' gets what ya' pays fer!!
CT
__________________ da perfesser
*******************
Dare to live your dream!!
If you want to be healthy for life, do for life the things that get you healthy!! Living healthy takes work. Dying fat is easy!! "That which we persist in doing becomes easier, not that the nature of the task has changed, but that our capacity to do has increased." - HJ Grant
"Do, or do not. There is no try!" - Yoda
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07-20-2011, 08:40 PM
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#7 (permalink)
| | Big Loser
Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: Newport News, Virginia
Posts: 182
Weight Statistics 09/08/2011 Start Date:
09/08/2011 Surgery Date:
5' 4"
Height:
238 lb Start Weight:
191 lb Current Weight:
159 lb Goal Weight:
47 lb Weight Loss:
32 lb Lb Left to Lose:
19.7478991597 % % Lost:
09/08/2012 Goal Date:
Body Mass Index40.8481445312 BMI Start:
32.7814941406 BMI Current:
27.2893066406 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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Libby - I completely understand. I believe there are some people who's glass is always half empty. Don't ever let anyone else's negativity cause you to doubt the choices you have made regarding your procedure. I have always said that I will never take relationship advice from anyone other than someone in a healthy, long-term relationship. Likewise, I will never take advice about weight loss and/or WLS from anyone other than a person who has been there and done that.
Stay encouraged! 
__________________ Love and light, Yolie You are now at a crossroads. This is your opportunity to make the most important decision you will ever make. Forget your past. Who are you now? Who have you decided you really are now? Don't think about who you have been. Who are you now? Who have you decided to become? Make this decision consciously. Make it carefully. Make it powerfully. ~ Anthony Robbins
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07-21-2011, 03:30 AM
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#8 (permalink)
| | Seasoned Veteran
Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: Georgetown,TN
Posts: 2,278
Weight Statistics way to long to remember!! Start Date:
12-09-09 Surgery Date:
5' 4"
Height:
282 lb Start Weight:
125 lb Current Weight:
150 lb Goal Weight:
157 lb Weight Loss:
-25 lb Lb Left to Lose:
55.6737588652 % % Lost:
I just want to be healthy Goal Date:
Body Mass Index48.3999023438 BMI Start:
21.4538574219 BMI Current:
25.7446289062 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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Good luck hun,you are doing this for yourself and noone else!!Your aunt has to face her failures at dieting before passing judgement!!!
__________________ Kim  | |
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07-21-2011, 03:40 AM
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#9 (permalink)
| | Super Moderator
Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Tokyo, Japan
Posts: 24,786
5' 5"
Height:
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Aw (((HUGS))) you need to do what you think is good for you.
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07-21-2011, 04:44 AM
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#10 (permalink)
| | WLS Mentor
Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
Posts: 1,116
Weight Statistics December 1, 2008 Start Date:
January 30, 2009 Surgery Date:
5' 9"
Height:
312 lb Start Weight:
170 lb Current Weight:
165 lb Goal Weight:
142 lb Weight Loss:
5 lb Lb Left to Lose:
45.5128205128 % % Lost:
July 2010 Goal Date:
Body Mass Index46.0693131695 BMI Start:
25.1018693552 BMI Current:
24.36357908 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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Besides that fact that she is misinformed and probably totally ignorant about wls, people have a nasty habit of making themselves feel better at the expense of others.
Just imagine how you would feel if you could read the minds of what others around you were thinking but not saying. Its human nature and you are likely to hear more of it from people you thought were your friends after surgery.
On the good side, you will get more positive remarks from people who really mean what they say as a compliment and not saying things out of jealousy.
__________________ Two heads are better than one, but one neck is better than two!   | |
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