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07-28-2007, 07:15 PM
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#1 (permalink)
| | Big Loser
Join Date: May 2007 Location: Maine
Posts: 100
Weight Statistics which time? Start Date:
June 18, 2007 Surgery Date:
Height:
343 lb Start Weight:
241 lb Current Weight:
180 lb Goal Weight:
102 lb Weight Loss:
61 lb Lb Left to Lose:
29.7376093294 % % Lost:
12/08 Goal Date:
Body Mass Index53 BMI Start:
41 BMI Current:
26 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
 |  Everyone knew about my surgery and I didn't tell them!
Ok, huge rant: I went to my husband's cousin's wedding today and I swear everyone of the 30 guests in attendance (including strangers) knew about my surgery. I am so angry I could spit! 
My DH (and I don't mean dear husband) told his mother about the surgery without my permission a few months back before I had it. I specifically asked her to keep it in confidence (after telling my DH) how I felt about his betraying my confidence.
Meanwhile my mother-in-law who I have always had a very good relationship with told her sister in law who then proceeded to tell everyone (her friends and family) who were all at this wedding today.
I am angry at my DH, angry at my MIL and my DH's aunt. Can't people have any stinkin' sensitivity on their own? Is it rocket science that this would be something personal? Am I just a raging, hormonal lunatic?
One of these ladies at the wedding works in the same school system I do, where I have only told 3 very close personal friends whom I trust to keep my confidence. Now, do I need to ask this woman to be quiet (keep in mind she's only an aquaintance) and I would feel very foolish calling her and asking her to be quiet. I mean, do I think the world revolves around me and she's gonna go running to everyone with my news? Unfortunately, yes I do.
I am happy I had surgery. I am feeling well and losing weight which should be the bottom line. I know I shouldn't care who knows and what people are saying, but I AM SO ANGRY!
Any suggestions? Thanks for listening!
Amy
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07-28-2007, 07:21 PM
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#2 (permalink)
| | Seasoned Veteran
Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: WADING RIVER (Long Island), NY
Posts: 5,122
Weight Statistics 7/16/07 Start Date:
7/16/07 Surgery Date:
4' 11"
Height:
230 lb Start Weight:
130 lb Current Weight:
115 lb Goal Weight:
100 lb Weight Loss:
15 lb Lb Left to Lose:
43.4782608696 % % Lost:
12/31/08 Goal Date:
Body Mass Index46.4492961793 BMI Start:
26.2539500144 BMI Current:
23.2246480896 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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Wow Amy
The Same Exact Thing Happened To Me. My Dh Told Both Our Families Which Got Me So Mad. Then While I Was In The Hospital A Friend Of Mine Had Called So Here Is My Father In Law Telling Her Im In The Hospital And What I Had Done. Mean While When There Is A Secret On My Husbands Side Of The Family They All Know How To Keep Their Mouths Shut Except When It Came To My Secret Which They Dont Understand What The Big Deal Is.
Well Amy I Feel You, It Is A Big Deal! If Your Going To Tell Anyone It Should Come Out Of Your Mouth When You Ready.
__________________ 230 lbs 7/2007 & 130 lbs 2/2009    | |
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07-28-2007, 07:24 PM
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#3 (permalink)
| | Seasoned Veteran
Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: NY
Posts: 10,174
Weight Statistics 4/19/2007 Surgery Date:
5' 9"
Height:
260 lb Start Weight:
152 lb Current Weight:
165 lb Goal Weight:
108 lb Weight Loss:
-13 lb Lb Left to Lose:
41.5384615385 % % Lost:
Body Mass Index38.3910943079 BMI Start:
22.4440243646 BMI Current:
24.36357908 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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deep breaths. the cats outta the bag now. really cant do anything about it. and you best believe the lady you work with will blab once you start losing like crazy...if not already. women are generally that way. no matter how close or how much you may get along with one, THEY ALWAYS TELL...
eat a popsicle and cool down. you have every right to be pissed, but dont let your blood boil over this. 
__________________  KenyaR.  Lap RNY 4/19/07 | |
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07-28-2007, 07:29 PM
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#4 (permalink)
| | Big Loser
Join Date: May 2007 Location: Maine
Posts: 100
Weight Statistics which time? Start Date:
June 18, 2007 Surgery Date:
Height:
343 lb Start Weight:
241 lb Current Weight:
180 lb Goal Weight:
102 lb Weight Loss:
61 lb Lb Left to Lose:
29.7376093294 % % Lost:
12/08 Goal Date:
Body Mass Index53 BMI Start:
41 BMI Current:
26 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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Thanks ladies! I'm sure you're both right! Edie, funny my DH's family is the same way about secrets, but they sure as heck did a number on mine! Kenya, I bet everyone will be talking (yes, we ladies can be catty like that!). I am drinking a homemade limeade with equal to cool off, but I am still so mad.
I am mad at my DH for starting all of this in the first place and I think my hormones are just insane today anyway. Thanks for being there to listen. I knew you would understand.
Amy
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07-28-2007, 08:23 PM
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#5 (permalink)
| | Whipper Snapper
Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Prince George Virginia
Posts: 30
Weight Statistics Feb 22,2007 Start Date:
Feb 22, 2007 Surgery Date:
5' 4"
Height:
235 lb Start Weight:
110 lb Current Weight:
130 lb Goal Weight:
125 lb Weight Loss:
-20 lb Lb Left to Lose:
53.1914893617 % % Lost:
Dec 07 Goal Date:
Body Mass Index40.3332519531 BMI Start:
18.8793945312 BMI Current:
22.3120117188 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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Hang in there girl, I know how you feel about people knowing your business. But when you get back to school and those 's ladies see you loseing all that weight and I know they will comment you. I would say to them" Yes I'm feeling so much better now, maybe you should try it....lol Denise
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07-28-2007, 08:23 PM
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#6 (permalink)
| | Whipper Snapper
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 29
Weight Statistics 07-30-2007 Surgery Date:
Height:
310 lb Start Weight:
196 lb Current Weight:
190 lb Goal Weight:
114 lb Weight Loss:
6 lb Lb Left to Lose:
36.7741935484 % % Lost:
07-30-2008 Goal Date:
Body Mass Index47 BMI Start:
30 BMI Current:
20 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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well i dunno if it's because i'm a man but i told everyone i know from work and from my social life what i'm doing,because i dont want to take credit for something i didnt do, yes!!!! i'm going to have surgery and this is the only way i could lose the weight . i think honesty and pride about your decisions is the key.
__________________ "always shoot for the moon,even if you miss you'll land among the stars"  | |
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07-28-2007, 08:33 PM
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#7 (permalink)
| | Seasoned Veteran
Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: NY
Posts: 10,174
Weight Statistics 4/19/2007 Surgery Date:
5' 9"
Height:
260 lb Start Weight:
152 lb Current Weight:
165 lb Goal Weight:
108 lb Weight Loss:
-13 lb Lb Left to Lose:
41.5384615385 % % Lost:
Body Mass Index38.3910943079 BMI Start:
22.4440243646 BMI Current:
24.36357908 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sebaztianfl  well i dunno if it's because i'm a man but i told everyone i know from work and from my social life what i'm doing,because i dont want to take credit for something i didnt do, yes!!!! i'm going to have surgery and this is the only way i could lose the weight . i think honesty and pride about your decisions is the key. | I had to chime in here sorry i dont mean to change the subject but you HAVE to understand that this surgery isnt going to do all the work for you. YOU will be responsible for putting the work in to make this successful. eating right, and exercising will all be on YOU. you should also take credit for all the times you dieted and failed, because YOU tried. 
thats my two cents. sorry if i offended anyone. that wasnt my intention.
__________________ KenyaR. Lap RNY 4/19/07 | |
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07-29-2007, 01:49 AM
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#8 (permalink)
| | Super Moderator
Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Tokyo, Japan
Posts: 24,786
5' 5"
Height:
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((((((HUGS))))))
Hold your head high, and ignore what others are saying. You know what a lot of work goes into this, and you know what you gave up to gain this, so all you need to be, is be proud of yourself. What's been done has been done, so you may not like it, but you will have to walk past it. Your life is more precious than that.
There is going to be a point when a lot of people will learn what you did for your health. Just consider it came sooner than later.
Also, consider, you will learn who your true friends are from those who are not through this. Those who are your true friends will support you with this, and you may learn that you have some surprising friends.
(((((HUGS)))) May your journey go well.
To the guys: for the gals, the hen talk can be upsetting, rumors are the worst thing you have to contend with, because you're never there to defend yourself, or to explain. You can only hope that someone in the group that whatever is being discussed will have sense enough to put an end to pure conjecture, and the stories that are circulated can get out of hand very quickly. Until you are very secure in what you were able to achieve, irresponsible talks, when it comes back to you can be very upsetting. So, if your wife/partner asks you to keep mum, it's best you comply, because they probably know better than you what the womenfolk will be saying. It's a difference in perception that you need to understand and put up with from time to time.
This from a woman who's been married over 30 years, and also deals with various relationships through those whom I see on my job.  | |
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07-29-2007, 08:20 AM
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#9 (permalink)
| | WLS Mentor
Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Milford Kansas
Posts: 1,205
Weight Statistics 09/01/2006 Start Date:
5' 4"
Height:
254 lb Start Weight:
144 lb Current Weight:
140 lb Goal Weight:
110 lb Weight Loss:
4 lb Lb Left to Lose:
43.3070866142 % % Lost:
02/01/2008 Goal Date:
Body Mass Index43.5942382812 BMI Start:
24.71484375 BMI Current:
24.0283203125 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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I personally didn't care who knew that I was having the surgery. After so many years of failed diets if I can be an inspiration or a help to anyone else then that makes me so happy. The ladies I work with have been a big help in my success even though they were all skinny to start with they have been some of my biggest supporters. And i'm even swapping clothes with them now I've had a few people say they didn't think I was big enough to have the surgery but can see how much happier I am now and they are happy for me and always just concerned on how I'm feeling.
__________________ Surgery Date 09/01/06
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07-29-2007, 08:33 AM
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#10 (permalink)
| | Seasoned Veteran
Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: NYC the best place in the world to live!
Posts: 3,453
Weight Statistics Halloween 2005 Start Date:
4' 11"
Height:
212 lb Start Weight:
127 lb Current Weight:
130 lb Goal Weight:
85 lb Weight Loss:
-3 lb Lb Left to Lose:
40.0943396226 % % Lost:
Body Mass Index42.8141338696 BMI Start:
25.6480896294 BMI Current:
26.2539500144 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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LittleLisaMarie
__________________ LisaMarie  | |
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