[freebird]

before i go on with this i'm gonna apologize if i have posted something like this in another category, i remember typing it in here but i can't find it.
i'm just wondering about how family reacts to your eating less at family get togethers? i'm asking because when my family is together for some reason there is always lots and lots of food. if you don't eat alot there is always some one around who tries to force food on you. what you don't like it? or have some more, or eating for the birds,... and not just once but continuous until the person usually gives in. they won't be able to do that to me after the surgery because i just won't be able to eat much, i've warned them but i don't think it's hit home yet. so how does your families deal with this? and if you are still in the puree or soft food stage do you bring your own food to a get together or family meal? just curious how you'll deal with this type of thing?

[DocSanae]

Um, I'm not sure if this answers your Q, but have you ever read what Craig has written about this?
Here's the link to his "Don't Be A Freakin' Turkey."
I hope this helps give you some answers.

[freebird]

thanks for the link Doc, it helps

[Pillows]

My husband is still amazed at the little amounts of food I am consuming. We went out to Applebee's last night to celebrate my being done with the full liquid stage...(ok, so I started a few hours before I was supposed to....woops.) I ordered a side of garlic mashed potatoes and even took half of it home with me. The waitress seemed kinda thrown especially since I told her that I didn't want anything to drink for me at the table. That was pretty fun to do....hehehe. I am lucky that my family and his are clear across the country, but don't know for sure what I am going to do when I go to the next church social potluck and such. I have basically told almost everyone at church that I am having the surgery, and there are three other ladies that go to church with me that have had the surgery, plus four other people getting ready to get it so I am sure that it won't come as a huge shock. It kinda helps to know that people will be watching what I will eat out of curiosity to make me be good. If you aren't sure if there is going to be anything there that you can eat, maybe you can make something to bring that you can eat. If nothing else you could always make some sugar free fat free pudding to share, or make a protein shake and then slightly freeze it so that you can have that. Try and make sure that if you are done eating your portion that you get up away from the food and make the rounds talking to other people or play with the kids. Staying at the table may encourage you to graze on things that aren't good for you to have. Make sure that you bring a nice cold sugar free drink for later too so that you can keep your mouth active and also get in some of those liquid requirements. I hope that these suggestions help you out in this bbq/picnic season.
Janae

[freebird]

thanks pillows, i can't wait to my first restaurant visit after the surgery to see that look...
good suggestions and thank you
one of the problems i can see my mom and me having in the future is that when we are at her table we are not allowed to leave until everybody is done eating. i'm hoping that she'll understand my reasons to get up when i'm done and not sit there watching everybody eat while i can't
thanks again though
outdoor non table meals will not be that bad it's the ones where you all sit around the table that are gonna bug me.

[Pillows]

I think that if your mom doesn't understand, maybe you could excuse yourself to the restroom? Actually, no strike that. It is not bad manners for you to excuse yourself early from the table given the circumstances. In my opinion your health (mental included) is way more important. Try to explain things to her before hand and be very firm in why you have this plan in mind before the dinner and tell her that her support is very important to you and that you would still like to feel a part of the family, but in order to be around to enjoy you simply have to start looking out for you. Maybe you could instigate a card game or board game after the table is cleared so that you still have non-threatening time around the table with them at these gatherings. Hope that this makes sense and helps. Sometimes our family tests our boundaries and we have to make firm statements to help them know where our boundaries are. Good luck sweetie. We are with you in this all the way.
Janae

[fr1endly2]

well my family dont seem to notice i find myself up and helping more then usual so im up and down and they dont realize i dont eat much.
BUT in time we all eat more then the firstm onths post op.

I do find dineing out that im asked over and over if the food is alright
being i barely touch it at times. AND they do also harp on the can i get us somethign to drink thing. its odd....
but now i eat more so its happening less but i still never ever drink with a meal.
HOPE IT helps

[freebird]

Thanks guys, i knew i could get some great ideas and support from you all. I think i'll start preparing my mom for this event soon, so i don't have to deal with the stress then.
thanks again

[DocSanae]

There's one thing you should know.
Most surgeons will tell you to chew, chew, chew, eat slowly, savor the food, and take 30-45 mins per meal, once you are on real food and can eat a cetain amount. So, you may not have to worry about leaving the table early, you may find yourself the person you mother tells everyone else to wait for!
You know, even if you are pre-op, at family meets, you could start practicing by putting on your plate only the small portions that you are going to eat, take a small bite, chew at least 30 times before swallowing, and repeat that. It may take some patience on your part because everone probably will make some comment or other, but maybe, if you get them used to the idea now, you won't have to deal with them when you're post op.

[freebird]

Thanks Doc, i knew about the chewing and am actually practicing that now, i also eat with a baby fork or spoon, and put my meal on smaller plates to try to trick my brain into thinking that i've eaten a full meal, i'm sure this will be a bit easier when i', post. But thank you for the advice, sometimes i forget to chew chew chew, i've been stretching my meals out to 30 to about 50 mins, sometimes it even takes me an hour, you should see the looks i get from roo, hehe, the only comments he makes now because he's getting used to it, is your dietician would hate me. But he's even been trying tp support my efforts by trying to take longer to eat, it's kind of funny actually, that he's adapting to the things i need to do for the surgery, even changing his eating habits a bit with me.