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10-31-2007, 09:43 AM
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#1 (permalink)
| | Seasoned Veteran
Join Date: May 2007 Location: minnesota
Posts: 5,595
Weight Statistics july 21, 2007 Start Date:
august 17, 2007 Surgery Date:
5' 6"
Height:
339 lb Start Weight:
177 lb Current Weight:
160 lb Goal Weight:
162 lb Weight Loss:
17 lb Lb Left to Lose:
47.7876106195 % % Lost:
Body Mass Index54.7100550964 BMI Start:
28.5654269972 BMI Current:
25.8218549128 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
 |  need to vent~
ok how to start... my husband is really pissing me off!! first of all he is going around telling our friends that he knows im going to leave him and that if i do he deserves it. for the first time in my life i am doing some things for myself and he says that im really selfish now and that all i think and talk about is my weightloss, and i only talk about it when ppl ask. he told me last night that there isnt anything special about me. i know its probably his own insecurities and i have a really hard time reassuring him because he has done some really aweful things to me in the past. everyone i know cant even believe that i have put up with him to this point. he even told one of our friends that he never had to worry about me leaving him before, but now that i am losing weight he does. like i was any less of a person??? i think he thought he could do whatever he wanted to me and i wouldnt do anything about it, i also think he is just trying to drag me down now because i fell great about myself finally, i told him that last night...you will never drag me down again!! thanks for listening, i know i always have ppl here to vent to. (((((HUGS)))))))
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10-31-2007, 10:05 AM
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#2 (permalink)
| | Guru In Training
Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: pittsburgh, pa
Posts: 321
Weight Statistics 06/04/2007 Start Date:
08/14/2007 Surgery Date:
5' 9"
Height:
379 lb Start Weight:
235 lb Current Weight:
200 lb Goal Weight:
144 lb Weight Loss:
35 lb Lb Left to Lose:
37.9947229551 % % Lost:
asap!!! Goal Date:
Body Mass Index55.9624028565 BMI Start:
34.6996429322 BMI Current:
29.5316110061 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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I have been going thru the exact same thing with my hubby, I have boyfreinds at work,I am going to leave him after i lose all my weight, ect. Its ridiculous, we JUST got married in April..
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10-31-2007, 10:27 AM
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#3 (permalink)
| | Seasoned Veteran
Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: North Texas
Posts: 5,236
Weight Statistics I've lost/gained my whole life!!! Start Date:
Aug 1, 2007 Surgery Date:
5' 8"
Height:
280 lb Start Weight:
154 lb Current Weight:
150 lb Goal Weight:
126 lb Weight Loss:
4 lb Lb Left to Lose:
45 % % Lost:
Summer 2008 Goal Date:
Body Mass Index42.5692041522 BMI Start:
23.4130622837 BMI Current:
22.8049307958 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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I have found men who fell in love with a BBW....somehow get security in the relationship....we have in essence changed the dynamics, and it's their own insecurities lashing out. The thing is, they have to learn to cope...you cannot cope for them. I hate that ANYONE is going through this...our journey has enough quirks without added pressure of insecure companions....
hopefully, you can talk it out with them and calm their fears...
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10-31-2007, 10:37 AM
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#4 (permalink)
| | Seasoned Veteran
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 2,109
5/17/06 Start Date:
5' 6"
Height:
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Sorry that you have to go through this. Your life is as important as anyone else. Be strong and keep plugging away. You sure have done a remarkable job so far! You should be PROUD, mamma!
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Play by the rules, but be ferocious.
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10-31-2007, 10:40 AM
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#5 (permalink)
| | Seasoned Veteran
Join Date: May 2007 Location: Upstate NY
Posts: 3,239
Weight Statistics April 11th 2007 Surgery Date:
5' 4"
Height:
267 lb Start Weight:
142 lb Current Weight:
150 lb Goal Weight:
125 lb Weight Loss:
-8 lb Lb Left to Lose:
46.8164794007 % % Lost:
Body Mass Index45.8254394531 BMI Start:
24.3715820312 BMI Current:
25.7446289062 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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Sorry your gong thru this right now. Yes this is your tme and your time to enjoy this and take care of yourself. This journey is hard enough as it is without the extra husband problems. hang in there and we are always here for you to vent.
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10-31-2007, 11:05 AM
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#6 (permalink)
| | Seasoned Veteran
Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Alabama
Posts: 4,019
Weight Statistics 9/28/07 Start Date:
9/28/07 Surgery Date:
5' 6"
Height:
279 lb Start Weight:
186 lb Current Weight:
175 lb Goal Weight:
93 lb Weight Loss:
11 lb Lb Left to Lose:
33.3333333333 % % Lost:
18 months Goal Date:
Body Mass Index45.0268595041 BMI Start:
30.0179063361 BMI Current:
28.2426538108 BMI Goal:
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Sorry you are giong through this. My husband has changed a little too since my surgery, but I can't do anything about it. As a matter of fact, I told him last night that he needed to work on him because obviously he was having some insecurities about himself and that he wasn't going to make me feel bad about myself.
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10-31-2007, 11:13 AM
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#7 (permalink)
| | WLS Master Guru
Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Near St. Louis, MO.
Posts: 961
Weight Statistics 04/17/2007 Start Date:
April 30, 2007 Surgery Date:
5' 5"
Height:
296 lb Start Weight:
160 lb Current Weight:
150 lb Goal Weight:
136 lb Weight Loss:
10 lb Lb Left to Lose:
45.9459459459 % % Lost:
05/21/2008 Goal Date:
Body Mass Index49.2515976331 BMI Start:
26.6224852071 BMI Current:
24.9585798817 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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Hmmm sounds like a sticky situation. I mean, I'm sure that all spouses will fight a bout of insecurity. I mean, it's human nature. But the way you seem to be implying is that he hasn't been the "nicest" at times. Meaning, if he has insecurity issues himself (before surgery) then it may just get worse and worse. All I can say is....Honey, DON'T let me steal YOUR joy from you!!! You're doing great, feeling better, and looking better. And you're right, you are the same person big OR small. I'm sorry if I sound harsh, that is not my intent at all. But, I'm just thinking how my husband would be if we were still together. NOT good at all. ((((HUGS))))
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10-31-2007, 11:22 AM
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#8 (permalink)
| | Seasoned Veteran
Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Floyd County Virginia
Posts: 9,445
Weight Statistics September 19th 2007 Start Date:
September 19th 2007 June 18,2012 Surgery Date:
5' 10"
Height:
363 lb Start Weight:
226 lb Current Weight:
170 lb Goal Weight:
137 lb Weight Loss:
56 lb Lb Left to Lose:
37.741046832 % % Lost:
When I get there again Goal Date:
Body Mass Index52.0793877551 BMI Start:
32.4240816327 BMI Current:
24.3897959184 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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Honey im so sorry your having to deal with this. It sounds like its his problem. Hes going through a change to. Others on here are dealing with the same issues and probally can give you some good advice on this. Me im thankful. My husband was fully behind me and this sugery. He looks at it like this...... we will have more years together doing things togehter now that I had this done. He looked at health issues versus anything else. I hope things get much better for you. Take care sweeite.
__________________ Remember Tough times never last Tough people do... This Ribbon is for our Lady Lisa and all the women that fight this ugly disease. RIP Jerry my friend
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10-31-2007, 01:25 PM
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#9 (permalink)
| | Seasoned Veteran
Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: SOMEPLACE LONG ISLAND, NY
Posts: 6,809
Weight Statistics June 1, 2005 Start Date:
5' 5"
Height:
310 lb Start Weight:
167 lb Current Weight:
159 lb Goal Weight:
143 lb Weight Loss:
8 lb Lb Left to Lose:
46.1290322581 % % Lost:
Body Mass Index51.5810650888 BMI Start:
27.7872189349 BMI Current:
26.4560946746 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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just there insecurities...
a frail marriage may not make it thru this journey
but solid ones should.
I know they all think this. I was ecused of
seeing someone everynight when i was at the
gym!
weird and i was being picked up by my GF so
i havent a clue were this stuff comes from i just blew
it off only thing that helps is time. OF course unless
u dont want to give him time to see thats not why u did
it. ONCE your successful and he sees ur not going any where
you will see how much he brags to everyone how well
you have done and how good u look
sort of comes in phases
hugs
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10-31-2007, 07:45 PM
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#10 (permalink)
| | Guru In Training
Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: NewEngland
Posts: 335
Weight Statistics 9/1/2006 Start Date:
5' 1"
Height:
278 lb Start Weight:
188 lb Current Weight:
130 lb Goal Weight:
90 lb Weight Loss:
58 lb Lb Left to Lose:
32.3741007194 % % Lost:
05/2008 Goal Date:
Body Mass Index52.5219027143 BMI Start:
35.5184090298 BMI Current:
24.5606019887 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodPhysician Prescribed Diet/Exercise
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This IS PRECISELY a problem with HIS immaturity and insecurity!!! Not to mention that statements such as "there isnt anything special about you" (REALLY? Why are you WITH me?), "you're just thinking of yourself", "nobody else will want you anyway" or "you're a selfish..." are just straight up emotional abuse. Anyway, you have made good choices to take care of yourself. You are right that you can't afford to be dragged down by him or ANYONE throwing negative crap at you. If someone isn't  GLOWING  on your behalf--really--"What is THEIR problem?" XOXO
Mya
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