[kbfrmaz]

I need to vent and I think this is the best place. No one has to read or even reply I think getting it out will help! I am only about 2 weeks post op- before my surgery I told almost no one about my journey and decision (hubby, best friend, mom and dad). Afterwards I shared with only my close family and my other best friend. I still have not told any of my other friends or my husbands family.

I had a weird sense when I talked to her- but I thought most of it was maybe she was hurt I had not told her before surgery, but I had told my other friend. (who I am much closer with, and who was there for me during the process watching my kid so I could go to appointments so she actually figured it out before I even told her!)

Today I found out how she really felt about surgery. I know you have all heard it from someone before, basically she blasted me behind my back! I am soooo not used to this since I have had the same very close circle of friends since high school and we all get along well and are up front Christian ladies.

I am so so so hurt right now. I am a very open and outgoing person, but when it has come to my weight I rarely discuss it deeply- and not with this friend. If I am on a diet I am usually quiet about, and I don't announce when I have had failures and successes. My friend said she has never even really seen me diet and why haven't I tried A, B, or C and that she disagrees with this surgery. To be fair she has no clue what I have been through since childhood with my weight since I don't really talk about it- but as a close friend I would have thought she would have been more supportive or at least kept her mouth shut to my other friend. (who since we are like sisters she had to know I would find out!)

I really don't want to confront her as I don't feel l need to justify my choice- but I don't feel like things will be the same with us either. I could have at least respected her if she told it to my face.........

This is exactly why I didn't tell a lot of people and why I am kicking myself for even telling her. I knew this could happen, but I did not expect it from such a close friend.

[DocSanae]

Awwww ((((((HUGS)))))))

[lbriseno]

Hello, Hey dont feel sad many wonderful people around here you just need to make yourself noticed.

You will see the changes comming up soon and the aawwwww comments before the month is over, welcome to the club my friend. youare not alone

[kitty56]

I am so sorry that this had to happen to you with one of your best friends. It sounds to me that your friend is very jealous of you right now. I really do not know what to say becasue my best friend is very supportive of me. She is so tickled pink with my weight loss and gets so excited with every pound I lose. I told most of my friends and family that I was going to have the surgery and they all knew I needed the surgery and were happy for me. I was so miserable before the surgery becasue of all the weight. I was a content person with my life but was miserable inside and I did not show it. You are doing great and keep up the good work.

[not quite Barbie]

My best friend has basically stopped calling or coming over to visit. Part of this journey includes finding out that your "friends" were only friends because you were fat and made them feel good about their own weight. Once you start losing they turn on you and it's up to you to decide if you want to try to save the relationship or say goodbye. Sorry.

[Trulykath]

this too shall pass...and you will be a better person for it....I'm sorry you are going through a rough time...but you do have LOTS of friends here!

[Kat]

Yup. It happens. Just step up to the plate and remember that YOU are your center right now. Your taking care of yourself and if you know what and how to do that it is really not anyone's concern.
I know it hurts. Many things get "shook up" during the wls process. Most of them are good!

[BOOTS]

Hun You Would Be Surprised At The Comments You Get From Some People You Dont Expect At All. But This Is For You. Your Life Will Change And Friends Will Come And Go. But I Have Made Soooooooooooooo Many New Friends Thru This Journey. I Go To Meetings Where I Met Some Friends And On THIS WEBSITE I Have Met So Many People Infact 2 Of Them Live Right Near Me So We Usually Get Together And Hang.

Its All Worth It!!!

[Lch]

you know i had a similiar experience and i was told or i should say i read that i may lose, friends , family, co -workers etc, which i thought was crazy, because i thought those that loved me would just be so happy that i was healthy, but instead, i think they were jealous or insecure. my best friend (who i have made up with since) said to me,"so i guess we won't be friends anymore when you get skinny" i was like, what? are you saying your only my friend because i am fat...... it was really akward, we aren't as close as before, but we still get together once in a while. So just keep going forward, and remember you have plenty of other people in your life who support you and your decision. And of course you have all of us, anytime you need a boost.

[PJspeach]

I agree with everyone else. You have done what you needed to do for youself and if she can't handle it then it is her problem. I am glad you still have the great friend that has been there with you through thick and thin. Good Luck on your journey.