[Imlosinit]

Well, I had my 6 month c/u yesterday and was checked over and deemed perfectly heatlhy. Of course, I never really had issues other than being over weight. Not one other co-morbidity so I had nothing to "overcome" other than losing weight. I feel great and am pleased at my success so far. HOWEVER.... I wasn't sure the office would be as pleased so I went feeling a bit nervous.

To be honest, I hadn't posted much about myself on here lately, other than responding to others posts because I was starting to get discouraged at how well others seemed to be doing in comparison to myself.. which is a big No-No, I know, to compare myself to others. I would look at others who had surgery around the same time I did and find that I wasn't losing as fast as some, if not most. I even told that to Heather, the NP at my bariatric office. She said no way should I compare. I told her that many had lost 100 lb by now. She told me, if I'd lost 100 lbs, that would be great, but not too realistic, but not impossible. She said for my starting weight, that would have been difficult to do and she's pleased with my progress, that I'm pretty much where they had expected me to be at this point.

One thing that really surprised me.. and I want some opinions on this, is.... My goal weight. I had never discussed where they envisioned me being and what they felt my goal weight was and they never offered that information. I mentioned to her that I had told a few friends what my goal weight was and they had already starting saying.. "You'll be too thin." She asked what my goal weight was and I told her 135, as I'm 5'3" and that is what is considered in the "normal" range. She told me, in a nice but firm way (for those of you at the same practice who know Heather, know she's a doll and a sweetheart and gives you a straight answer in the sweetest way possible. I love her.), that that was NOT realistic for me. She said normal weight for 5'3" was 128 and she felt 135 was still too low for me and would be really hard to reach. They base what they feel goal wieghts are on how easy it would be too maintain for a lifetime. I asked her what she felt my goal weight was. Although she didn't want to pinpoint a number, she felt I would be good from the low 160's - 170. You could have picked my jaw up off the floor. I said REALLY?!?! She said that would be a weight that I could reach and comfortably maintain. She said I could probably reach 135 but it would be difficult for me to maintain for any length of time. She said she hoped I proved her wrong and could do it and she'd cheer me along the way but she didn't see that as a goal for me.

So.... my question is.... Am I giving up on myself if I adjust my goal weight to a higher weight? I have always said my goal was 135 but if I got to 150 and felt good, I'd be happy. I just don't want to settle.. KWIM??

Anyway, I left the appointment feeling better about my progress but with questions about where I'm going.

[MsVickie]

I think your Dr is right. She is being realistic about things. I have found most people in here say there own surgeon told them the same thing. When we look at that BMI scale we think OMG I have to weigh that to be normal. NOT. Just a few years ago they revised that BMI scale ( for those of you who didnt know) at and the time Tom Cruise ( who im not a great big fan of) was considered at that time to be obese buy one pound. Yes one pound and him. Did you ever look at him as being over weight.

The one thing we do have to realize is we have alot of excess skin hanging off us right now. Its much different than fat it self. I had the realization just a couple weeks ago. Thank goodness I did.

My goal is set for being a larged boned women and at the very top of the BMI scale for not being one pound over weight. My surgeon told me when I got to 220-230 he was happy with me and that is his ultimate goal for myself. I about hit the floor myself. So in turn this surgery is not to make us look like supermodels it was to save our lives. When i look at it that way it does make much more sense. I hope you have a great day.

[Perfesser]

Well, Martha, there's a pretty good chance that Heather's opinion is formed from a lot more experience than yours is. Sounds like she has some good points. I think it would be crushing to hold out for 135, unrealistically reach it, and then watch the rebound kick in taking you back up 30 pounds.

I didn't worry about goal numbers. The doc said 184, and I would have been okay with that. Actually, anything under 195 and I would have felt like a success. My body had other ideas, and it settled lower. I never tried to hit my present weight, as I have no recollection of ever being this low (I started my senior year of high school 40+ years ago at 180). But this is where my body wanted to be and I've been here +/-2 since August last year.

This is very much a "your mileage may vary" type thing. Compared to where you were a year ago, are you happier at this or that weight? Compared to where you were a year ago, if you never quite reached the Century Club, but found a sustainable weight, how would you feel?

The best thing for you to do, I think, is to stay the course, continue to follow the rules, make healthy choices and practice moderation. Then let your body tell you where the story ends. Whole lot less frustration doing it that way than there is stressing over an arbitrary ideal that may not happen. Don't give up, but rely on your body for guidance, not your heart.

CT

[Kenyar]

i never focused on the lbs themselves. i remember longing to be BELOW 200. i hadnt been there in over 10 yrs i think....

the thing is, you just may get to the 130's but dont forget the "rebound". and this is not a failure re-gain. your lowest is usually not where you stay ( from what i have seen. of course i am no dr). but i think in terms of charts and what not - on the cusp of overweight is way more realistic for wls patients than "normal" in terms of actual weight. gotta remember we're not normal LOL. better yet, go by bmi. because if you've been exercising, adding muscle will make you heavier anyway.

funny thing is, my dr told me from the beginning he didnt want to see me below 180. blew right past that. but when i hit my lowest i could SEE why he would say that and why a higher weight is a better place for me to be. i'm pretty tall. 130's looks like walking dead on me. i was there last summer and have been stuffing my face ever since to NOT be there. but on someone 6 inches shorter it might be perfect. all of our bodies are so different. and they let us know where they want to be. i say keep "trying" but listen to your body. you may have pictured a number on your scale not realizing what it will look like or how it will feel to BE it. you may feel at 170 you want to pump the breaks. it will all depend on how your body wears it. no worries. keep up the good work and you will know when you get "there"

[crp461]

when i first saw my dr. and he told me i need to get to 160lbs and after my sixth month check up he told me that that would be too low and for me to stay at 170 to 175lbs. after my tummy tuck i've gotten to 168lbs and my dw and my children tells me not to lose any more weight but i want to get to 163lbs that is where i was when i joined the navy 43 years ago(that sure makes me old). this weight i'm at now is still overweight but i feel great and the dr tells me its a healthy weight not to dwell on the numbers. yes at the beginng i would look at the time people would have their surgrey and i would compare them to me and i would sort of get depressed and i would call the dr and he would say cliff quit comparing, everyone is different and you could lose fast or slow the main thing is that in the long run everyone gets to where they want to be.

you have really done a GREAT job on losing 68lbs.

[MsVickie]

All the responses above are great repsonses. I remember when Kenya went to that very low weight and well we were concerend bout her definatly. I agree with CT on saying your body will let you know and Kenyas did let her know it was way to much. She wasnt a failure what so ever. He body let her know hey wait a min Im not gonna vanish and let her go back to where she needed to be is the way I look at it.

I will say I dont wanna regain any but...... if I do I certinaly dont want to go above 199. Im letting my body do with me what it wants right now because I have that extra stuff to let it be right now.

[MsVickie]

Notice mine and Kenyas height. We lost differntly and I had alot more to lose. But we set the goal about the same? Its being realistic.

[not quite Barbie]

Martha,
I'm stable at 130 pounds (plus or minus 1). Although I get a kick out of wearing size 6's I don't really expect to stay this size. I'm really too thin, I have bones showing everywhere and my face looks haggard in most pics. My docs goal was 170, I personally hoped for 140 and fully expect to bounce back up to that number if not higher. Right now, I will be happy with any weight between 140 and 170.

I look at a lot of peoples pics on the plastic surgery forum on Obesity Help's web site. The people who didn't get down to skin and bones actually look a lot better than folks like me who got really skinny. I think 135 for your height just might be too low.

Having said all that - it's all moot. Your body is going to take you where it wants to go, LOL you are just along for the ride. At some point you will level off, and then it will be up to you to work at staying that weight or letting yourself go back up a little. People who set their goals lower than their body wants to be are just disappointed. Set a higher, realistic goal and then be happy if you get below it.

[dixieladybug]

My doctor has my goal set for 179. I am 5' 8". That sounds like a lot of weight and is still considered over weight by the numbers but I lost a lot of weight a few years back and I got to that weight and was happy with it of course i gained it all back plus some but it was so good for a while. lol You have to find where you feel good about yourself and forget about what the numbers say. You will know when you get there but you body may decide to go lower. I guess we don't have the last word after all. My body has decided it likes 198 i guess but I dont like it so much. lol I hope to get to 175 but it is so slow now. I will keep trying and MAYBE the scales will be kind and move soon. You are doing great. I havent lost really fast either but I am so happy just to be under 200 again. Keep up the good work.. we will get there one day. I would not feel bad about changing my goal if I were you. You can always go lower if you want to. It makes you feel better to see less to lose. lol

[Imlosinit]

Thanks everyone... I think I'm going to readjust my weight a bit higher and then if I fall below that... that'll just be a bonus. CT, you're right... I need to just let my body do what it wants to do. I've actually found that the times when I'm not stressing about my weight is when it starts coming off again.