[Gee-ma 47]

This was the 1st site I visited, and after reading a bit, I joined and have not looked anywhere else. I thank God for each of you; so many personalities, so much insight and support. It's a good thing for me. I come to you guys even though my local support group leader's office is within walking distance of mine. The wls nutritionist is my cousin! They both work with wls patients, but I need that contact with someone who's been there and done that. Bree, my husband is an old skool weight/body builder, but he can't help me like your info and support does. I'm glad your reside here, we need you

[decker1976]

55% of communication is non-verbal (reading body language, tone/cadence of voice, and eye contact. (Research based info). So when we "communicate" on line we need to be cognizant of how our communication is perceived by others. Here at RR I think we all do a good job of positively communicating, even during those times when we have to be candid in responding to a post. A rule of thumb I tell my staff...if you wouldn't want your mom or grandmother reading your e-mail then don't send it.

I have always been a very direct communicator. When I visited OH I experienced a male member who consistently and openly made sarcastic and inappropriate comments about my posts. His little "click" started doing so as well which is when I finally ditched OH. After a couple of years I went back to visit. The individual in question had been warned several times by the site administrator to clean up his act. He was finally banned from posting on OH.

My point...we need to be sensitive when posting &/or replying to posts. I think we here at RR do a stellar job of respecting the opinions of others and supporting folks who visit our site. Well done all of you!!!

[Autumnkrsr]

I have been to the livingafterwls site and have found it to very "clicky"...I had befriended someone and became FB friends. She quit e-mailing me out of the blue one day. I contacted her and she told me she did'nt want to have negative people in her life. Told me she thought I was jealous of her success and her marraige. To this day, whenever I go to that site, no-one responds to my thread.(okay maybe one person out of ten). You all welcomed me with open arms. I appreciate it!

[BreeChick]

I'm so glad you are here too!

What an amazing response people, at least I've found that some get really 'weird' post op at some point. This group here seems to be the cream of the crop in positive and straight forward responses!

we accept ya -all!

[Autumnkrsr]

Thank You Bree!!! You made my day!!!

[gailsiz]

I think people get stuck in a "place" in life (even if it is in their head) and after surgery, when they loose weight and start getting treated differently, some people may not get used to it as easily as others. However, some people are just rude and treat people badly and that's why people treat them like they do and don't like them. But they refuse to believe that and will make up all kinds of excuses as to why they get treated like that because they really believe they are the victim of (whatever they are complaining about that day).. They don't like it when things are going well for other people - and why the surgery worked great for them and why their lives are blooming. Those people are miserable in their own heads and no amount of weight-loss will improve that. It's not anyboby elses fault - they can't be helped unless they want help. My sister is just like that. I love her but she is miserable all the time and it is usually somebody elses fault and so on...... all the time. They can't see the good in life because all they look for is the bad. It is a real shame. (My daughter calls this type of person a "fun-sucker". They suck the fun (or good) out of any situation. A little gross but non-the-less accurate).

[Rottweilerdriver]

I guess I don't understand the mentality of why people who are on the Weight loss journey would slam other people on the journey?

As an example...I am an ex-smoker. I know how hard it was to quit, and I also remember what it WAS to be a smoker. I have never heard another ex-smoker go to another ex-smoker...Dude, I quit 3 months before you...Therefore your quitting doesn't count? Huh?

I would never get in a smokers face and "lecture" them on smoking, because I've been there. I would support anyone who wanted to quit, and I would never be rude to someone who fell off the wagon trying to quit or maybe used a different 'method' to quit than what I used...

So what is the deal with people getting picky with other people who lose weight? I don't get it either. Snotty little cliques don't bother me, cause I have always been the odd one out. So I have always learned the only I need to make happy and who matters is ME That way I can share love and support with everyone else.

Personally I would avoid any site (or drama) that is not not helping or supportive. Why would anyone WANT drama in their life, you know?
JMHO...
Warmly,
Jackie

[Perfesser]

You'd think that of all people, those of us who have survived obesity would reach out a hand of love and encouragement to anyone trying to escape that curse. It doesn't matter how - after a certain size there are no "easy" ways anyway. Weren't we the subject of ignorance and abuse when we were large? Why would folks go out of their way to continue the persecutions and carry on the ugliness?

I think it is indicative of deep-rooted psychological problems, but I'm not that kind of doctor. When my patients go on a weight loss program, you can bet there's a cutting torch and a grinder somewhere nearby!!

I love the way that this whole list has such a positive, uplifting attitude. I have no room in my life for downers. Long ago, I chose to be happy, and all that drama just doesn't take me there.

Thanks, all, for keeping this the best place on the Internet!!



CT

[Chevygal55]

[MrAntoine]

Boy can I relate to this, I have had some of my obese friends make such rude, negative, non-supportive comments towards me just recently. I mean it's awful, they have downed my weight loss, totally downed the WLS. Saying things like "I'm goinna be a twink"!" I mean what's up with that? I don't down them when they are going to a buffett, or when they are shoving those 2 feet hoagies down there throat!! My brother's partner who thinks she's so eduacated , yet she thinks that it's perfectly normal to be overweight and unhealthy, and she doesn't associate her health problems with her own obesity(real smart huh)? She put my brother down saying things like' "he dying, trying to kill us with him" (because he smokes). Okay fine there may be a little truth there, but she dosen't have to be so mean about these things, when she is overweight and on all kinds of meds..lol! But when she started name calling, and downing my WLS,and was preaching to me...Oh boy I let her have it!!



Needless to say, I guess people are goinna be people..mean, hatefull and all, obviously no compasion, no matter what there size is?

Maybe this wasn't relavent to the topic.Sorry guys, I needed to vent with people who are in my shoes, or have already walked in them...I am so greatfull to have you all!