[BreeChick]

It's been about? 4? yrs since I'd been on the Obesity Help site and about 2 weeks ago started going on the chat very infrequently. Had updated my profile with pics, etc. and did a wee bit of blogging on there for an update. In fact the last time I had visited there was in 2007. So that says something.

Most of the forum stuff wasn't too bad, although I noticed a LOT of misinformation. Which is never good.

But today reminded me why I stopped going to their Chat.

I was on and this other long termer to that site (would not say long term post op..they only finally had their surgery recently w/in 2 yrs) and they immediately after noticing my nickname started slamming me with ugly comments.

This I noticed was after a few had asked about my success and had looked at the pre/post pics on my profile and were being very positive. It amazes me the attitude that so many formerly obese have towards others further out.

It's just pure ugliness and makes me wonder a LOT about their personal mental health, you know?

We talk about how the world changes their views of us when we lose the weight..but we don't always talk about how OTHER morbidly obese treat us, or day to day the people who are morbidly obese treat us not knowing we used to morbidly obese!!

It's not supportive to be so ugly and get all rude about someone's pictures or in my case in the OBH chat, the fact that I've NOT had any plastic surgery seems to be a hate inducing comment in the chat. It's also why I don't feel comfortable at ALL about going to any support groups in PERSON as I've also experienced this in person. (ie: pple pre/post being rude about how I LOOK & that I workout)

I don't get it....I don't look in the mirror and think "I'm so hot and beautiful" and yet people act like that is what I said or something..it's VERY odd to me and disturbing..

I don't get it all...why all the hatefulness??:confus ed:

I'd certainly not recommend their chat for support.

[Chevygal55]

I went in there chat room one evening and there were only some members flirting with each other

[countrygirl]

I've been reading posts on the site, but not going into the chat room. I do see a lot of interesting opinions on there, but a lot of negative attitudes as well. I don't know what the deal is with the "surgery wars" but there are a few who feel like their surgery is the ONLY one that is successful and want to push THEIR surgery, putting down others in the process.

I don't get it. Any weight loss surgery has pro's/con's and not one is perfect for everyone. It is a personal decision and just because one in particular worked for someone doesn't mean they should put down others. Oh well, I do read some posts over there but don't get into all the drama they have at times.

[dixieladybug]

I did go to the site "one" time and just did not find what I was looking for. Then I found this site and I have not been to any others. I got just what I was looking for right here.
I also have a friend that is obese and try's to put me down because I had the surgery. She is so mean about it. I just smile say I feel so lucky to have had the surgery and would not change a thing. Oh well it takes all kind to make the world.

We treasure your input Breechick. It is good to have someone as far out as you to give us good advice. Stick around we need you.

[MsVickie]

Oh geesh this is the same one I found the day I found this one. Its the one that some chic asked me why I had this name. If I was married it should be MRS VICKIE instead of Ms.

I left there thinking you know manners are free and I have enough going on in my life without settleing down in there. So I left. Best Idea I ever had.

[decker1976]

I agree with you Bree. Before I found RR I spent time on OH. Never did the chat but read & posted. No offense as I know not everyone was negative and nasty but my overall experience was OH folks were nasty, negative, did not respect individual experiences and opinions and just plain failed to provide support to everyone. It was like if you didn't belong to there little "click" you we treated as less than worthy.

Renewed Reflections & the wonderful folks who visit are a class act.

[RC59105]

Well it doesn't matter where you go or what you do, people will be people and you will always run into a mean spirited person somewhere along the paths.
Its what you "do" with those instances that matters.

[BreeChick]

Years ago that is where I met Craig T at! So I'm glad for it. I just thought as it's got State to State forums too that it might be a good way for me to meet up with other posties..but wow..forget it!!

I have about had it up to here! with those people who are jealous of others who have had the WLS and pretend to be "waiting to have surgery" and use that Chat to flame people who've had the surgery. When I first was on there and in the process of pre op time with Dr Helling's practice and beyond that in the first year it had great support. But about the 2yrs point for me there came onto that site a group of people who are STILL there and hateful as can be.

I will no longer apologize for HOW I look, what MY success has been, I won't apologize or be made to feel 'bad' about gaining up some!!! H***'s no I won't! Plus..I am not going to apolgize to anyone for being grateful for the hard work I put in at the gym post op and continue to do in my home gym..nope..not gonna!

I am SO grateful to Craig T for this positive and Faith based site.

Going back there was a good reminder of the surgery doesn't always make ya nicer..LOL

[clancythecamper]

What's that saying? Beauty is only skin deep but ugly goes all the way thru? LOL Sorry they beat ya up, I'm sure their just jealous. Incidentally, I have always quipped humorous observations about large people, especially when I was one. At that time, I was told to have some self respect, and now people think I'm being rude coz I'm smaller ~ go figure ~ the way I see it, humor is just that and it's never malicous by the way ~ anyway, we luv ya ~ hugs ~

[luvRdogs]

Well, I have never heard of that website. This is the 1st website I have ever been on, and it must be by the grace of god that this is the site I found.
Each of you wise and wonderful people have been a blessing to me. Thanks so much for your support and advice. I appreciate each of you. Thanks!
salli lou