[Queenofthenile]

Well after a lot of thinking and going back and forth in my mind, I have decided not to have surgery. I have wanted it for so long but the closer I get to my surgery date, the more people are telling me of their personal experiences about bad things that have happened. I went to visit a family friend in the hospital. We got talking about WLS, the woman in the same room said her daughter had WLS, her intestines got tied in knots, she had surgery twice, one of which was an emergency. The dr. told her that if her daughter had waited just one more hour then she would have been dead. I want this surgery to improve my life not take my life from me. I have 4 beautiful children who need me. I know the importance of losing weight......my father's 2 sister's are very obese with diabetes. My father has to make an emergency trip to Egypt next week because they both woke up and lost their sight. I am scared to death of ending up like them but at the same time can't bring myself to trust that I will come out of surgery o.k. I hope you all would like me to stick around if you don't mind. I still need to lose weight and I still need support......Thank you for listening

[judijo]

...And that is the reason we all continue to say to those who are considering the surgery to INVESTIGATE and when the time comes, make an informed decision.

Don't leave us, though! Please stick around and chat with us about "stuffs", as my DD calls, well, stuffs.

I had a patient today who asked what it was that finally made me dive into the OR for GBS. I said, "My kids are old enough to fend for themselves with their dad, in the worst case scenario. And the fact that WLS is routinely done laporascopically now."

[DocSanae]

Yes, of course stay here. You will need all the support you can, whether you have or don't have surgery, unless you have a place to come to vent, and people to share their experiences, it usually isn't easy to lose a major amount of weight.

On another note, though.
Did you talk in person with the person who had the bad experiences? Or were all the stories second hand stories, even if they were about their immediate relations? If you talked directly with those who had the bad experiences--blockage, etc etc, they may vote differently from their families, despite the scary episodes. In fact, we have a few members having some trouble or another including intestinal blockage, and they still vote the surgery worth all the problems and scares. Of course, there are those who vote the problems not worth the results, so, the stories go both ways. However, the MOST important thing is, unless you speak DIRECTLY, IN PERSON with the person who had the surgery and had the scares, you never will know the truth of the matter. Everyone else will put in their own story into the tale, be judhgmental, and leave out the true feelings of the patients unless they themselves are the patients. I know this sounds harsh, but you'll have to give thought to the fact that there are many people who enjoy swaying the decision of others, and then go about saying that you never go through with what you decide. YOU are the only one who can make the decision of what to do with your life, so, if there's any margin of doubt that if you heard the direct words of the surgery patients themselves instead of through their families, you may have other thoughts, then, even as you cancel your surgery, I suggest you go about making the effort to speak directly with those who had surgery. And I believe, from what I read on this board, if they had trouble, even near death experiences, they will all be upfront about it, if they know you will listen without a biased/judgemental ear.

The time for surgery is probably not right for you at the moment, so that is why you decided not to, but I sure hope you will keep us updated all the time with how you are doing.
(((((((HUGS)))))) May your journey go well.

[Queenofthenile]

I have never had an actual conversation with those who have had the compliations. It is always the relatives of the people who have had the surgery. I come in contact daily with people who have had the surgery and ALL have said that they would do it all over again. In my heart of hearts I believe that surgery is the right decision and I would follow all protocol as prescribed by my doc but I am scared. My surgeon is completely competent and I trust her fully . Maybe I should have a conversation with her.....Thanks to those who listened.

[DianeB]

I must say I respect you for your decision--however, I was one of those people that had a blockage or twisted intestine. I went for quite awhile with it, got to the point where I was in alot of pain and vomiting all the time, but when I got that bad my doctor put me right in and did surgery. Up to that point I was able to cope with it. I did know going in with the first surgery that this was a possibility, and when it was confirmed (I had an endoscopy done) my doctor scheduled the surgery, however I knew I wasn't able to go till the surgery date first scheduled, called the doctor and he told me to go to the ER and the surgery was done within the next day. I can honestly say I would have gone through it again to get to where I am today. I feel so good, my blood pressure is normal as well as my cholesterol. I have Fibromyalgia and I can honestly say my body feels so much better. Diabetes runs in my family also so this was a big concern for me also. I know you must do what is right for you and maybe somewhere down the road you may change your mind and that's ok. You must do what you feel is right for you. We all have to make our own minds up after throughly investigating all avenues. This is a major decision in your life--be comfortable with the one you make in your life. I think people tend to share the scary things with us--and some of them are not informed of all the reasons. Hope I could shed a little light on the subject for you, and not confuse you more.

[ragdolldude]

Surgery is a person decision. I had do decide what I'd rather do--live with my health issues and hope they did not deteriorate--or have the surgery to resolve my health issues. One concern was that I was 58 when I began the process, and my mother developed type 1 diabetes at age 55, and her eyesight, and muscles have been deteriorating over the past 20 years due to diabetes. I opted for the surgery, and don't regret it. DAVE

[clancythecamper]

I support your decision. It took me 5+ years to get to the point where I was ready. I knew people who lost, didn't lose and who had significant complications. When you're ready, you'll know.....

[reastland]

Queen,
When the time is right you will know, until then good for you in deciding to wait. It is nerve wracking to make the choice to have someone permanetly re-arrange your inner parts.

I noticed the closer I got to my surgery date, the more people shared horror stories--even the night before surgery the person taking my blood gass filled me with lots of BS. She had some bull story that a WL patient ordered a pizza. I'm here to say, I was reaching for ice chips--pizza was the last thing on my mind! It had to be a lie!

IF this surgery is right for you, you will know when. Good job on making a tough choice!!

Smiles,
Becky

[DeMarie]

Here's a great big , you have to do what's best for you.

[LittleLisaMarie]

You are not ready for the surgery now and thats ok....you may go back and forth with this decision numerous times before you actually decide for or against it. It took me aprox 4-5 years of going back and forth before i decided to have it. Either way, no matter what you do decide this is a support group for people fighting obesity and your always welcome. We all understand what you are going through, we all understand each other and thats why i have stuck around . Its a family , and only people who have the experiences we do can truely understand the emotional rollercaoster ride we are on. Before during and after we make our decisions. We are here for you.