[Kenyar]

So i am trying to think this thru out loud, anyone is welcome to join the voices in my head

is eating, the need to eat, what we eat and how much controlled by hormones or by behavior? i am wondering if this trip we are on is mental, hormonal, or both? if its both it is more complicated than i thought in terms of control. but if its NOT hormonal and it is strictly behavioral we should be able to control what we eat, how much, and when. we sshould be able to resist the temptation to binge. and we should be on the right path "forever".

when i get angry, i crave bad things. Cakes, brownies. "sweets". when it is the week before tom i crave real food; good food but in larger amounts. meats, veggies, comfort meals in a sense. when i am "ok" i eat whatever i have planned and stick to it. no hunger. no urge to eat until discomfort.

the days that i stray have me concerned. its never more than a few days of bad eating. but its getting worse and worse with fewer side effects lol. and i wonder if its just a matter of focus and meditation or if my body LITERALLY needs the things i am craving at that time? maybe i am just making excuses. who knows? any thoughts?

maybe i just need a vacation

[MsVickie]

Personally I think its both. While you crave sweets at times mine is salt or somthing crunchy. The crunchy and salt now I have substitued with raw veggies and it works well. We are all gonna have days or weeks of being off kilter with this. I know last month was hard for me I mean really hard. Have you noticed alot of us take depression meds? Or did at one time. Im not a big fan of OPRAH ( dont shoot me for that ok) but she said somthing years ago that i feel that is very true. Somthing happened or we went though somthing at some point in our life to lead us down this road. That is why we found food to be such a great friend.

I like you Kenya set and think about this alot. It can be distubing at times. If it wasnt for the board I dont know what I would have done acutally. Scary.

[Kenyar]

im not a fan of oprah's either. sssssh! dont tell i am sure something happend, but i dont know what. do i blame my father for not being in my life? no LOL. i dont know what i missed out on so how could it affect me? i just always remember feeling inadequate; i still do sometimes. being a "skinny bitch" doesnt take that away. not that i thought it would, but i thought at least i would find some comfort in my own skin. i didnt mean to go down this road though. this is the emotional stuff.

yes lots of us are on anti depressants. but that goes back to not being able to cope. cope with what is the question iguess.

im just curious if the triggers are hormonal. i mean when you get angry something must be released by the brain. does that something require a specific type of fuel?? i find the psychology of this fascinating....

i too feel i dont know what i would have done without the boards.

[Queenofthenile]

There are two specific hormones that are involved with appetite. They are Leptin and Ghrelin. Leptin is responsible for turning off your appetite and ghrelin is responsible for turning on your appetite. If you don't eat properly either one of them can interfere with the signaling to the brain that "hey I have had enough". The head component is also very important and I happen to agree with the statement that something in our lives happened that lead us to find comfort in food.

[judijo]

I am loving this thread for the information. Thanks!

What I find amazing was the perceived "wrong-ness" in not liking Oprah. SEE WHAT KIND OF POWER THAT WOMAN HAS???

I am a big fan of MadTV, and Debra Wilson's rendition of devil-Oprah was hysterical and I half expected O to come out and smite her. LOL

I work days. Never got into daytime talk after high school and the Michael Douglas show. LOL But I will say that I know women who claimed their lives were saved because of something seen on Ms. Winfrey's show.

[saturngirl0223]

I think it is a mental thing for me and everyone says keep your mind busy but the more you say that the more I think of it. My cravings are the salt and it is when I am sitting around bored so if you come up with something, please pass it on. You have came a long way.

[Ladyhawk]

I will join the club of not that big on Oprah.... I agree with you guys--- this is quite a journey and it makes us deal with our baggage.

[MsVickie]

Now we know why we need a psych consult before surgery! LOL I know I didnt enjoy the thought of it when I was first told it was mandatory by my own Dr.

Now that you work in a Drs office Kenya you will be facinated by many things honey. That is why I love it so much. The body is an amazing thing and not hardly a day goes by that you dont learn somthing new.

[DocSanae]

Keep in mind, our brain and body interacts very very closely.
Remember those butterflies in your stomach when you are nervous? Your emotions aren't just emotions that mess up with your mind, it also messes up with your body.

Some people are more prone to equate comfort and satisfaction with a chemo (inlucding food) than with a *mental* deed, such as reading, listening to music, meditating etc. Others hybernate. These gut reflexes are conditioned when we are still pretty young. Later, when you get older, part of the *growing up* process is processing coping mechanisms so they will help you in a postive way. This isn't easily done unless you have someone to guide you, whoever they may be.

The feeling of inadequacy can be, and is, a very strong emotion that will take a lot of good hard work to overcome, but it is worth all the hard work. It often works in a negative way, by dragging down your positive thoughts, making you doubt yourself, and along the way, making you want to turn to *old* comforts.
All this is quite normal. You need to learn to trust yourself and your choices as you go through this journey, to the level that is still unfamiliar to you, and that in itself can be scary. Sometimes, you will need guidance. Sometimes, you will need to pick other people's brains (which is what this board is here for ). Sometimes, you will be able to figure it out yourself.

All this is why this is a journey--it is a journey of discovery and rediscovery, and finding who was hiding under the excess weight you had to carry for a long time, due to one reason or another, or, more likely, due to miriads of reasons that were complicatedly intertwined with each other.
Kenyar, you are doing a very good job of unraveling the mystery of who you are.
(((((((HUGS)))))) You are a beautiful woman and person, inside and out, which also goes for everyone on this board.

[Tiffiany]

Beautiful words Doc. I so related to Kenyar's post so much and I anxiously awaited your heart-felt, knowledgable response. You really take so much time and consideration when responding and this response was right on target.

Thank you Kenyar for being as real as you are and vulnerable enough to post the inner most thoughts that we all probably relate to in one form or another. A truly remarkable person!!!!!