[scrobin]

Originally Posted by DocSanae

If you want children, you can, in one way or another. You can have biological children, from reading your post, your drs didn’t tell you that you couldn’t have them, just that there is a 50-50 chance of passing on something to them. No dr will tell you not to have children, unless it is life-threatening to you in a very physical way, like having heart defect that pregnancy would put a strain strong enough as to be a threat to your life, or a defect of your womb that would endanger both your life and your pregnancy. ADD and depression don’t fit into that category, it is treatable and controllable with medication. I do no think your drs will ever say you can’t have children. They may say the pregnancy and nurturing a child will be a strain on your mental health, but they have the tools to help you, if you will let them, so if you decide to have a child, they won’t tell you not to, but they will support you to the best of their abilities.

That's what they said, that it was unadvisable. I was the one who had asked them and they said they didn't recommend it for me.

[DocSanae]

Originally Posted by scrobin

That's what they said, that it was unadvisable. I was the one who had asked them and they said they didn't recommend it for me.

Unadvisable/not recommended doesn't equal no. It's quite clear that the final choice is up to you. If you really can't have children for one reason or another, then drs will give you a clear cut no, and will not cushion their words, since it's going to be at the cost of the life of the mother, or because she is unable to have children because of phyisical issues like having had hysterectomy for one reason or another--of which there are numerous women--or some kind of defect like the case of Perfesser's wife.

Also, unadvisable/not recommended for you, could very well come from the stage were at with your mental issues when you asked your dr. If you have other pressing issues right now (like your academics), then, at this point, it would not be wise to carry two loads--schoolwork and pregnancy. Schoolwork and pregancy each are individual difficult loads, with lots of enviironmental changes and decisions to make, for anyone, even for those with no emotional or mental issues, so it's going to be more so for someone who is under treatment for one psych issue or another. Once you've settled in life, so to speak, and your life is more stable, structured and less stressful, things may change, and you will probably be better equipped to go through pregnancy and parenthood.

So, no matter how you put it, it is still your choice, and one that you can make, only you can make, after weighing all the pros and cons. No one has taken away that choice from you.

From your posts, I take it that you aren't at the point in your life that you must/need to make a choice. Don't take up the banner for a cruisade when there's no banner to pick up right at this moment. Take care of what you need to take care of at this moment. The future will come in good time, so leave the choices that are in the future until then. As Kenyar said, if you back yourself into a corner, then you are the only one who can bring yourself out of it. The choice is up to you. When you make the decision, if you are a mature person, then you will not whine, you will not blame anyone or anything else for things not working out the way you expected to, but instead dig your heels in, and stick to your decision and work with the tools you have on hand to make the best of it.

[amina6ae]

Awesome Job Summing This Up Doc!!!!!!

Lol,

[scrobin]

Originally Posted by genmel

NOt really sure what your issue is that will keep you from conceiving, but i had to respond. I am 35 and a mother of a 9 year old child I adopted when she was 7. I was never able to have children and yes, I felt robbed as well. It does get easier. I guess adopting helped me, but prayer helped more than anything. It may sound simple, but I really felt like as long as the person pregnant knew what an awesome gift it was to be pregnant, I could not feel jealous. God had a plan for me. He has a plan for you. God chose to bless me with a child who needed a home; he just chose a different vehicle to get her here. She is my child. She looks like me and her daddy and she is my joy. She happened when I least expected it and after many many prayers. I don't know if this helps you or not, but just know you are not alone.

It's been my experience that God is a joke.

[Kenyar]

Wow. i think I am done here. No offense but I think you are looking for pitty or something and we;ve ALL lived tough lives in some fashion or another. No one has disrespected anyone's beliefs and everyone has been supportive to a certain exten, but for me, here is where i draw the line. I have had enough. To be honest, and I may be speaking for myself, I dont think you will find what you are looking for; whatever that is, here.

Good luck on your journey.

[Perfesser]

Originally Posted by scrobin

It's been my experience that God is a joke.

How sad! Just when you really need a higher power to help you with this problem, you deny one and choose to carry it all yourself. I wish you good luck, but I fear your attitude will deny you even that much.

I agree completely with everything Kenya said. Hope you find something to sooth your soul somehow.

CT

[lvmyboys]

I agree we all have tough lives....for me it was actually getting pregnant at the age of 16. I have struggled in many ways and have had many set backs from having a child at such a young age however, my struggles have only made me stronger. I think life is what you make of it and it sounds as though you are really down on life at this point in your life. I agree with Kenya....whatever it is you need at this point it seems as though you are looking for pitty and your issues are probably deeper then any help we can offer here online. I wish you luck in life and hope your outlook on life changes.

[kimtindall]

Yikes...I wish you the best of luck in whatever you decide. Its gonna be hard, but I really really think that you should postpone this for a while and spend some time with the shrink. I honestly feel that you are not ready for a change this drastic. I totally agree with Kenya, CT and Shannon. Good luck to you!!

[BOOTS]

Ok I Got To Put My 2 Cents In Here! First With Many Surgeries And Complications I Was Told It Was Almost Impossible For Me And Not Advisable For Me To Become Preg. But Because Im A positive And Strong Person I Felt Nothing Would Stop Me From Having A Baby!!!! After Lots Of Prayer I Became Preg with my 1st daughter Which In My case Was A Miracle And I Have To Say It Was A Very Difficult Pregnancy And After I Had My Daughter I Asked Would It Be Ok Or Can I Become Preg A 2nd Time, My Doc Looked At Me And Said After What You Went Thru With The 1st Preg Its Not Advisable And Not Sure Possible. But Guess What Once Again I Wanted Somthing Bad Enough And Took My Chances Know God Was There For Me. Well Im 5 Months Preg Now And Everything Has Been Going Excellent. Thats Gods Work Hun!!! Because I Was Told Years Ago It Would Be Nearly Impossible To Become Preg Nor What It Be Safe For Me Or The Baby.

Also Depression Runs In My Family And I Am Walking Proof That It Wasnt Passed On To Me! Same With My Dh Side Of The Family And He Is Fine. Yes Our Children Have A Chance Of Getting It But It Is Not A Terminal Illness!!!!!!!!!!!! With The Right Meds It Can Be Dealt With So I Dont Understand What The Prob Is Here!!!!

Apparently You Are Not Strong Enough Or Dont Want It Bad Enough To Fight And HAVE Faith. Take It From Me If You Want Children You Can Have Them No Matter What Docs Told You. I Walk Around Preg Knowing Im Risking My Baby Or Possibly My Life If I Do Run Into The Complications I Was Warned About But Im Willing To Risk It!!!! Your Prob Is Not Even Life Threatening.

Hopefully When The Time Comes And You Find The Right Person You Will Find More Courage And Strength To Fight!!! Because Anything Is Possible

[BOOTS]

Hun You Cant Always Listen To What Others (even Docs) Tell Ya. Otherwise You Will Be Limited In Life. I Always Make My Mind Up And Just Do What I Want Anyway No Matter What The Chances Are Other Wise I Wouldnt Have A Beautiful 2yr Old And An Other On The Way.

Life Is About Taking Chances, Having The Courage And Faith. Without It You Will Just Build Your Own Cage Like Earlier Explained To You.

Good Luck