[clancythecamper]

Hey, guys, it's me Ok, so I've been taking this "proceed with life" thing out for a spin ~ interesting, I suppose although I miss you guys. I do pop on and off from time to time just to ck in. I've noticed some things about where I am in my journey and thought I'd share.

First, when I was actively losing, then maintaining, I felt "skinnier" than I do now. I started feeling it around the 90# mark and continued til I bottomed out at 125#. I def did bounce with a "gain" of about 12# which seems to have stabilized. I think this is due to my loosening my eating standards and increasing my carbs somewhat.

Now, some of you may be thinking "stop, what are you doing???!!!!" Well, I'm looking for my new normal (there's that word again) and I am finding the balance I need to be healthy and feel good. My clothes all still fit and I'm watching my intake with reasonable diligence, no crazy binges or anything; still watching my fat intake and exercise as I want a healthy cardio system. What I find interesting is that my body has changed, or maybe just the way I see it, not sure which. I know Doc said our skin tends to tighten up a bit a ways out and I think this may be what is happening.

Also, my "melted candle" look doesn't seem as severe. I don't know if the 12# is what adjusted that or if it's the skin tightening or maybe a combo of both. I no longer look gaunt, and in fact think I look like a normal size person with a few more curves than expected. My face seems a bit fuller, and the hollows between bones around my collar bone is less pronounced.

I am trying to embrace my new body and even splurged and bought real lingerie (not fruit of the loom packaged variety) which was a totally humbling process in front of a full length mirror! which led me to my next great breakthrough.

I was talking with a co-worker, a "real woman" in her 50's and was lamenting that I'm still not comfy with my body image and she dropped this pearl of wisdom to me and which I gladly now share with you! Her advice to help me accept myself was this "Don't look at how something looks on you, how does it make you feel?" As I was trying different items on, I realized some were just ridiculous and others were "fine" but when I put on my new attitude, I found that proper foundations were quite acceptable and that buying pretty colors with silky textures and feminine touches really changed how I felt. You know, we all know folks, esp women, who, no matter their size really are comfortable in their own skin and revel in who they are. It has been a really long journey for me to get to this point.

This remains the most amazing journey ~ thank you for taking it with me Hugs ~ Clancy

[DocSanae]

Clancy, glad you're doing well, and good for you in getting to the point of *feeling comfortable in your skin* in more ways than one. This can be one of the more difficult, but at the same time, crucial breakthrough. There was some discussion a while back about *false advertisement*. I can understand that point of view, but in fact, I believe that everyone's present package is the true package, not false. Depending on which *stage* you are, your perception may be different, which can throw a loop in your thinking. I know that many of you think that *normal* people don't think like that or feel like that, but there are a whole lot more things that I can relate to, that most of you probably can't imagine. So many things that women/people have issues with whether thick or thin. The difference lies in whether the person lets that issue *get* to her, or deals with it in whatever way it deserves to be dealt with--face on, duck, ignore, whatever. Most stuff in the world, we can't control. However, we can control how we feel about them. So, do you put your positive feeling foremost, or do you put your negative feelings foremost? Just that makes a whole world of difference.

Yes, clothes can be/are self expressions--so, yup, choose clothes that you feel good in, whether you want to feel feminine, sporty, casual, whatever--choose grouchy clothes if you feel grouchy . Wear those lovely clothes, don't be worn by them.

And hey, pics

[not quite Barbie]

Hey Clancy, good to hear from you. I just posted a couple of weeks ago about noticing that my body seems to have shifted things around and I too am not so gaunt looking (at least I hope so, maybe wishful thinking???). MelsReturn commented in a post about going through the skeletal stage where we look starved, and then our bodies even out and we look better.

I think it's great that you took the time to post this because the newbies need to know that this journey doesn't end when the scale stops moving. And I'm glad to hear you are so busy embracing life. You go Girl!

[kitty56]

I was comfortable in my body except for all that lose skin hanging in front of me and that always bothered me so much and I finally got it off and oh am I ever satisfied with myself now. Seems like I am at the end of my road what I want to do with my body and feel so happy with myself, even if I am around 200 pounds yet. I know I will never be as thin as most of you, but I look at where I was and that is huge in itself to where I am today. I know I am not suppose to stand on the scale and even the nurses told not to stand on the scale, well I did and yesterday I weighed 208. Yes I had gained right around 18 pounds back and I was sitting there for a long time and could not budge the scale and with all the work and activities I did still did not budge the scale. But it seemed like my cloths where getting baggier even with that weight gain,I just could not figure that out. My scale went back up to about 228. No matter what I tried it stayed their and figured, darn it is that where my body wants to be. Now with the tummy tuck and my poor eating I went down to 208 yesterday and that is with all that sweeling and all the stuff I got on me. Becasue I always weigh myself in the nude on my scale. But when I look in the mirror now and see how flat I am, I am satisfied with myself now. When I look in the mirror I do not see myself as I did before, I had a hard time seeing myself as thinner as gastric bypass and with a 165 pound weight loss. But wow do I see it now. Seems like as the tummy tuck, somthing clicked in me, I cannot explain it, well the biggest problem with me was I focused everything on my big stomach and hated it so much. I asked the nurse again if they weighted the skin and she said no they did not but the nurses and doctor talked about how heavy my skin was becasue a few days later the nurse told me that they did a surgery on a lady with the same amount of skin on her as was on me and she told me that it was right around 16 pounds that I had on me. I have to say I love how I look now.

[lmu62]

I read all the Posts every single day because I want to know exactly what to expect once I have the gastric bypass surgery (haven't been approved yet but keeping my fingers crossed) and I just have to say to all you wonderful people how much these kinds of Posts mean to me and I'm sure to other "newbies" as well. I work at a very large insurance company and there are a lot of people here who have had the gastric bypass and some of them look pretty skinny and gaunt so I have therefore been worried about this issue but reading your comments has made me feel so much better. I would much rather look skinny and gaunt than fat and bloated but it still helps to know that I won't always look that way. I'm not saying that I'm vain or anything but the outward appearance issue has been one of my concerns.

Thank you all so much and hopefully I'll be back soon (once I get my final approval and surgery date) to let you know how I'm doing.

[BreeChick]

Clancy I'm SO glad to hear how you are doing!

It is amazing how if we just let some time go by our bodies do change a bit from that uncomfy place. Some won't and that's when the whole PS thing is a wonderful gift! So I am totally not dissing PS at all here!

I've tried and tried to explain how over the years with having bottomed out and come back up with that high end exercise that my skin as I lost down from 27% body fat to even LESS at one point with the training..that my skin would loosen and get wrinkly but then flatten out and tighten up some. I was never perfect! But I didn't have the expected bad hanging skin either. Which was a blessing.

I think when we get way down and unhealthy looking that if we just give it some time, it'll even out. The body gets much healthier looking if we just give it TIME!!

So many are in a rush to get 'there'...they just rush the process.

You are doing great girl!!!

[clancythecamper]

Thank you, everyone, for the comments Bree ~ Perfection is so overrated! You remain an inspiration for me ~ thank you for hanging in there for us. Imu62 - I remember my pre-op days and trying to digest every tid bit of info out there so I think it is important to share this part of the journey. The scale is really about 25% of the journey yet we give it such significance! What's really important is the health effects of the #'s coming down ~ bp, cholesterol, etc. We're taking a cruise soon and I'll hopefully have some nice pix from that that I'll post. Kitty, I'm so happy for you ~ kudos! Remember, it's only a number.....give yourself a few months and I think you'll have your "settled" end result weight. Barb - thanks, I miss you and your optimism ~ see I just can't go away completely ~ I like you guys!!! Doc ~ yes, I'm learning I find having friends of all ages really helps me see things that my age buddies just don't get yet! I told my friend this morning that I had published her advice Have a great day!

[Queenofthenilerevisited]

It is so good to hear from you. I agree with what you said. I put on a pretty bra and panties and actually looked at myself in a full length mirror and said,"I don't look that bad". That was amazing for me. Kudos to you for being comfortable in your own skin.

[ksummer19]

It's really great to hear from you I've been wondering how you were. Sounds like things are going good and you are 'settling' in. It's strange because things are stiffing and moving on me also.

Hey don't be such a stranger around these here parts!!

[malone7384]

I so needed to see this post right now. I have been struggling with some of the same issues. I am trying hard to be comfortable in my new skin.

You really are an inspiration!