[Jenna]

So, I am 9 months out, lost 123 or so lbs, and I'd like to just come clean about how things are for me these days. I'm assuming for the most part that my weight is pretty stable, I bounce between 176 and 180. I'm still losing inches, but the weight loss is very slow and I am perfectly okay with that. What I am not okay with is how I am doing food wise.

I am pretty much the poster child for what not to do. I eat EVERYTHING. I eat pretty much exactly the same things (minus fried/fast/processed food). I eat cookies and cake and ice cream. I eat anything I want to. I sugar coma daily. I don't drink enough water. I'm total shit at taking my vitamins as I should. I know for a fact I don't get enough protein. I'm not really okay with any of this. I need to get my ass in gear before I hurt myself and I am finding it really hard to do. I've tried and failed to do the pouch reset multiple times because honestly doing nothing but drinking for days is boring and I like food.

My problem is that I want to do this right, and I want to be a role model for people that are having this surgery but I honestly feel like a huge cheater. I have no problems, I lost so much weight so fast breaking pretty much every rule along the way. I'm terrified of regaining, but seemed to have mastered the art of balance. I don't exercise as I should. I'm about to get plastic surgery and sometimes I feel like I've done nothing to get to this point. I see people on here working so hard to get where I've gotten and I just think, 'Why do they have to work so hard and I just had to sit here and watch it happen?' It seems so unfair and it makes me feel bad.

I know I should be grateful, and of course I am, but I just want to stop these bad habits before they get out of control. So how do I do this? Where do I get the will power to do what I need to and help myself? I know I can trust you guys to be honest and awesome as always, so thanks in advance

[Brenda Lea]

it may seem like you have gotton off easy with lossing the weight, by braking all the rules, but if you do not STOP and take a good look at your life. You will find yourself back at 300+. I'd start with a very long talk with myself and look at some old pictures.

[De-n-Steph]

Well Jenna I would have to say that you are a poster child for total honesty and putting faults where they truly belong and I say go you for that. With that said, admitting your faults and correcting them are two different things. I obviously haven't had my surgery yet so I can't give too much insight. I can tell you I too at times have the weakness of when I can get away with something doing it, honestly that is how most of us get to the point of WLS. I have set my goal to not even see if I can tolorate certain foods that are my weakness..... we will see how realistic that is when it happens. I have watched many people go thru this and mostly with great success but I do have a couple "cheaters" around me as well. I will hopefully live by assuming I am like a couple others who get very very ill when they eat certain foods (esp sugars and sweets). If I can convince myself that it will make me physically sick I will stay away cuz I hate nothing more then throwing up or having the feeling like I am going to.

You have come a long way to tempt fate to go back to a heavier you, recognising it now is important, but you need to start cutting things out now, if you can't do it all at once, choose one thing at a time and say "I refuse to give this food the power to take away all my progress". Easier said then done, maybe.... but certainly worth a shot.

Best of luck to you!!!

[Lana]

Jenna, I've been feeling the same things as you. August 31st will be one year, I have 8 lbs. to goal and I feel I'm sabotaging myself. I've never exercised other than walking and I've started making bad food choices lately. I do, however, take my vitamins religiously and I do get it all my protein, but drinking water is still a weakness for me. Some days are better than others.

I do not eat pastas, fast food or processed foods, but I can and do eat all kinds of desserts and I see it starting to become a problem. I'm scared and I know I'm the only one who could fix this.

So my advice to you (it's always easier giving advice than taking it) stop and really think about what you're doing and try and put yourself back in that place where you were when you started this and stop taking it for granted. I DO NOT want to ever be fat again....I'm sure you don't either. It may be a struggle but we have to do whatever we can to stop the bad habits from getting out of control.

I know I sound like a hypocrit but that's what we both have to do. I'm glad you posted this and I know I'm not alone.

Good luck to us both. We can do this!!!!!! We have to.

[DocSanae]

First off, congratulations on your fabulous weight loss.

That said
1) On the threat of blindness (yes, you heard that right), heart failure (this too) brittle bones, nerve damage, and a miriad other ailments caused by vitamin and trace mineral deficiencies, START TAKING THOSE VITAMINS AND MINERALS IMMEDIATELY!!! Yup, I'm shouting. You see, symptoms of deficiencies don't turn up until the damage is WAAAAY beyond done and difficult to salvage. You need to start correcting them BEFORE ANY symptoms appear. It just may be that once you start getting in those vital nutrients --vitamins are so named because they are *vita*l--you surgar cravings will improve even if it doesn't go away completely.
2) Obviously, you are addicted to sugar. That means, you can't wean yourself off, you will have to do cold turkey. Get the bad, the processed carbs out of your system completely and reintroduce only the complex carbs, if you really want to get rid of your cravings.
3) WHY do you want the sugars? To block out the bad things in the world, to save you from boredom? Think over the why.
4) Do your best to bring exercise into your daily life, exercise releases happy hormones that can take the place of the carb coma that you feel so comfortable with.
5) Yup, it's hard. BUT. If you want a healthy body and a healthy life, giving up your loved but harmful substances is a must. There is no way in the world you can get everything you want and still have a healthy mind and healthy body. Learning discipline is how you stay safe--just as there are traffic rules that you have to follow when driving a car, or even just walking around town, there are *traffic* rules for eating if you want a safe and good journey.

(((HUGS))) You can do it all, we, all on here, believe in you that you can, so please believe in yourself that you can.

[Gee-ma 47]

Jenna, I completely understand where you are. Is there something else is going on that causes you to stray from the rules? I'm over 1 year out and am having some of your struggles with the carbs and water intake. My problem is that so much else is going on and stressing me out that I want to be able to lose myself in something good and satisfying to eat. It's hard for me to accept that the overeating coping mechanism is no longer there. In the past, eating was my reward and escape for dealing with all of the crap life hands out. Now my pouch tells me that I can't eat myself out of frustration or any other negative emotion/situation, but my mind says try it anyway. One thing that works for me to get in at least 64 oz of sugar free liquid is to break it down into four 16 oz servings. That big 32 oz water bottle intimidated me because I felt like I'd never get it finished. Getting in enough protein is also hard but I try my best to get in 60 grams per day..I don't know our solution Jenna, maybe we can work it out together. Blue delight say two heads are better than one, maybe we can come up with something that works for both of us

[not quite Barbie]

What a shame. I feel so bad for you because you are going to be one of those that ends up gaining it all back and worse, you're going to give yourself all kinds of physical problems because you aren't even trying to take care of yourself. And then you're going to waste even more by having plastic surgery when you haven't even lost all your weight? And then you'll put it all back on and ruin the plastics too. What a waste!

Now, have I pissed you off enough yet? I want you to get mad enough to care about what you are doing to your body!

You have a problem! Good for you for reaching out to us and sharing that you are having this problem. You need to figure out why you are continuing to eat the way you are and I think the best way for you to do this is make an appointment with a counsellor. Get help.

Meanwhile, the way I do it is I make deals with myself. For example, if I eat all my protein and drink all my water then my evening snack can be a cookie or candy. Forget the pouch reset, that's diet mentality and doesn't work. Instead, set goals for yourself, set a schedule for when you are going to eat and what.

And GO GET HELP!

[gailsiz]

I totally agree with Barbie and the Doc. !!! 100 and 10 %. Easily said. But you are neither slow nor stupid - you know what you need to do and what you haven't done. You know the consequences - Doc and Barbie just told you. So…What are you going to do about it??? You know you are relatively young yet – your skin still has its elasticity and as you age you lose that. If you keep up with these bad food choices and on top of that – not taking your vitamins you will re-gain all that weight you lost and ruin your skin (especially if you get PS in the meantime) Please listen to Barbie and Doc and take you vitamins and weight a little while for plastic until you are more settled into eating right and taking your vitamins and drinking the water. You should be settled into your goal-weight for a while before PS anyway. Don't feel bad about where you are – you made positive life changing decisions just to have this WLS – and very good results, don't throw that all away now. Shake it off and start new….

[Jenna]

Okay maybe I should have phrased myself better. I don't have a serious problem (and no I'm not in denial), I just need to cut carbs and sugar and get back on track and yes Doc Senae I most definitely am a sugar addict, I have and always will admit that one. NQB you don't piss me off cause I know you're right! Your answer was the kind I'm looking for. Just to be clear, I don't sit around and shovel cookies into my face, I do eat by a schedule but I eat a huge array of foods, including sugary ones. I coma off bread but eat it often. I just need to know how to cut the habit of eating carbs and sugar all the time with every meal but it's just a constant. I don't think I'm making any sense really. I think I am just going to do what's obvious. Try to cut the bread out, maybe once a week my chocolate obsession and start having my protein shakes for breakfast and at night again. I was thinking a lot about what you guys have said today and it really is all mental and I am freakin mental for even thinking I can get away with doing this. I took ALL my vitamins this morning Doc, you scared me :P I love you guys, thanks for keeping it real. I need a good swift kick in the ass some times, I'm so happy I have you guys to give it to me! Thank you!!

[judijo]

Sweetie...I am with ya. But I ALWAYS take my vitamins. I ALWAYS eat protein with every single meal. I ALWAYS drink water, and I ALWAYS eat fruit or veggies with every meal. Those are the things that will keep me alive forever. Or until I am eaten by a bear or hit by a truck. I also can eat anything, and I do. Some days more than others.

I don't think I will gain "it all" back, but I don't know. I just don't like the scale creeping up. When it does, I don't partake in late night eating or anything other than the ALWAYS, listed above.

I swore to the heavens (God is my name for it) that I would NOT wear elastic waist jeans again, and these size 12 jeans feel pretty fine. I pray to the same heavens that I have the strength to properly adjust my diet when needed.