[Cara178]

Each day as I prepare my food, I think...who are you? Before surgery I would have looked at this mere cup or so of food and thought..only a bird eats this little. Now as I dish or pour it out, I think...hey lady you can't eat that much, put some back. Even my husband tells me, you know you cannot eat that much, your eyes are bigger than your stomach. Have you seen yourself lately? Are we the same people on the inside only different on the outside? Now I am obsessed with my water number and how much protein does food have. I keep a timer handy, I am not the least bit embarrassed that my office mates may think, what the heck is that all about? I eat, set the timer, wait my 30 then I drink. Who am I? Prior to wls I would have thought what a weird practice.... Am I a Caroline come out of hiding or a new person all together... Who are you?

[clfcarrie]

Good question. for myself I think I am the person that I always dreamed I could be. The one with energy to do and go and be confident in all situations. the new part is that I always wanted but never dreamed that I would have a moment when I wasn't hungry. I was hungry constantly before even after finishing a huge binge I was already planning what to eat next. OCD Foodie I guess. That was instantly gone. Even if that was all that came out of all this I would have been very very happy but God has blessed me with so much more!

[Mathew5655]

Such and interesting thought.... I dont know who I am, I still cannot realize that I'm smaller than most of the people I hang around with but yet in my mind I still feel like the fat guy. It has not set in but I guess I have to realize that for 37 years I was that guy and now how long will it take to figure out who the new guy is? I should hope that only the outside changes as I generally liked who I was just not how I was bound by the weight. There are so many thoughts and fears going through this...what if I gain the weight back is my biggest fear. So when I eat something my first thought is "did I eat to much?" Then the guilt kind of sets in next thing you know you are constantly still thinking about food, sometimes about eating it, sometimes about not eating it, sometimes what to eat. Why does my world revolve around food? I know the surgery did not take it away but really have to find another way to live. For those that are a year or more out, do you still think about what you eat? I would like to get to a point where portion control and quality of food is second nature and not just another food chore. I feel as though I have went from wondering if there was enough food on my plate to satisfy me to now is there too much food on my plate and will I gain the weight back.

PS I really like this support group, its nice to be able to just chat!

[ShawnC]

I am only 3 weeks out of surgery... but this is a great question! I know that I want to become healthy, happy, and active! But I also know I do not want to change who I am as far as personality, caring, and compationate! I know several people who have had this done and talk about how much people eat or how big people are ect... I vow I will never do that because I know what its like!

[dixieladybug]

I understand what you are saying and I agree and as soon as I figure out who that gal looking back at me in the mirror is I will let you know... lol sometimes she still surprises me.. lol

[Perfesser]

Your relationship with food definitely changes, and if your previous identity was strongly invested in food, that has got to change a lot of other things about you, too.

I was thinking of this today in the grocery store. I had a few ingredients at home, but not a complete dish, so I was seeking inspiration. Years ago in my former life, I'd have been in a different section of the store, one of the interior aisles, looking at shelves of carbs and processed junk. Today, I was cruising around the produce section looking for fresh ingredients that could sing harmony together in a pan. It's completely different from what it was like before, but I've made the transition so well now that I rarely even think about it anymore.

Dixie and Carrie have had to face this, too, and know what I'm saying. You newbies are still so focused on doing it right that you haven't had time yet for it to become second nature. For how many years did obesity rule over us and drive us down? How many times did we try and fail to shake off that heavy yoke? What does repeated failure eventually do to one's state of mind?

When you finally throw off that oppression and defeat your old enemy in single combat, it has to affect who you are inside. You've just conquered the unconquerable!! You can do anything now!! One of the most commonly reported wows that we see deals with the renewed self-confidence that fills us when we win this one! Nothing in life can ever be the same!!

How many of us had our self-image molded by our size? Were we the fat guy, or the huge woman, instead of being a real individual of worth? With that qualifier gone, it sometimes happens that we feel adrift for awhile.

Who are you? An individual of enormous personal worth. Someone not to be trifled with. A little (or a lot!) less tolerant of crap and abuse. Someone who learns to stand up for him- or herself and be counted, not a person to be brushed aside and kept invisible.

You newbies will spend maybe years coming to grips with who you now are because you have so much false knowledge to unlearn and so many new ways of thinking to incorporate into your being. It's good to talk about it and share how you're doing. If you're having those thoughts, rest assured that others, maybe less articulate or more timid about opening up than you, are struggling with these concerns too.

As we shrink in one sense, we grow in another. Life is a journey! Enjoy the ride!!



CT

[dixieladybug]

Life is a journey! Enjoy the ride!!



CT[/QUOTE] You know CT for the first time in many years I am really enjoying the ride.. lol

[not quite Barbie]

Funny, just this morning I was packing my lunch and realized I was just about out of fresh fruit and had to laugh at myself. Used to be, when I was in diet mode, I would buy fresh fruit and then it would sit there until it rotted. I couldn't make myself eat it. Now I can't keep it in the house!

Just made a shopping list: FF half and half, rotisserie chicken, chicken breast lunch meat, pickles, yogurt, cheese sticks, fruit, lettuce, cuke, carrots, bread, bagels, cream cheese, cat food (not for me, for Precious). Except for the cat food and pickles, everything is on the outside aisles of the store.

[dixieladybug]

Hey Barb that sounds like my shopping list even the cat food. lol

[DogNamedBill]

Originally Posted by not quite Barbie

Funny, just this morning I was packing my lunch and realized I was just about out of fresh fruit and had to laugh at myself. Used to be, when I was in diet mode, I would buy fresh fruit and then it would sit there until it rotted. I couldn't make myself eat it. Now I can't keep it in the house!

Just made a shopping list: FF half and half, rotisserie chicken, chicken breast lunch meat, pickles, yogurt, cheese sticks, fruit, lettuce, cuke, carrots, bread, bagels, cream cheese, cat food (not for me, for Precious). Except for the cat food and pickles, everything is on the outside aisles of the store.

I had to laugh at the "cat food for Precious"! My brother has a cat named Precious and she couldn't be further from that name!!!!! She growls, hisses and bats at people no matter who it is!!!!!!! I think he should have named her CUJO!!!!!