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08-20-2011, 09:45 AM
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#1 (permalink)
| | Big Loser
Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: Peabody Massachusetts
Posts: 183
Weight Statistics 1/4/2011 (2 week liquid diet) Start Date:
01/17/2011 Surgery Date:
5' 3"
Height:
278 lb Start Weight:
155 lb Current Weight:
141 lb Goal Weight:
123 lb Weight Loss:
14 lb Lb Left to Lose:
44.2446043165 % % Lost:
When it happens! Goal Date:
Body Mass Index49.2401108592 BMI Start:
27.4540186445 BMI Current:
24.9743008314 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
 |  Perception of others?????
I often find myself wondering how others perceive me while I am out. I feel great, and I (think) I look great, but according to my BMI I am still "Obese". I certainly don't feel obese, (I am only 4 lbs away from being "overweight"), but I often wonder if others who see me see me as obese?????
I tried explaining this to my husband, but he didn't understand. He just kept saying you look great, why would you think that?????
I went shopping the other day and a sales person asked if he could help me, I stated that I needed a pair of size 12 jeans (I was too short to reach), he looked at me with a "yeah right, size 12???" kind of look and handed me a size 12 and a size 14 and said that they don't carry anything bigger than a 14 in the store, but they had bigger sizes on line. I was so angry!!!!! 
I did go and try the jeans on, only b/c I really needed them and when the 12 fit, I very nicely went back to him handed him the 14n(still folded) and told him the next time a customer requests a certain size, he should just do as he is asked! I also told the manager what happened. The manager was extremely apologetic, and gave me a HUGE discount on the jeans, but the feelings were already hurt.
I have had such high self esteem since losing over 100 lbs, but boy did that experience crush that! I came home and was so discouraged, my first instinct was to go the fridge, freezer, pantry, and eat the feelings away, but my step son said, (not knowing what was wrong) "Want to go play basketball??" So I did, and boy did it help.
I just couldn't believe how the arrogance of one person brought those crazy emotions back to the surface. It got me really thinking about the perception of others though...... Just wondering if anyone else thinks or feels this way or if I am just completely nuts!
__________________ "Take care of your body. It's the only place you have to live!" ~Jim Rohn  
Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Free Calorie Counter  | 
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08-20-2011, 11:13 AM
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#2 (permalink)
| | Seasoned Veteran
Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Mississippi
Posts: 5,198
Weight Statistics 3/18/2008 (dieted all my life) Start Date:
9/30/2008 Surgery Date:
5' 8"
Height:
292 lb Start Weight:
192 lb Current Weight:
189 lb Goal Weight:
100 lb Weight Loss:
3 lb Lb Left to Lose:
34.2465753425 % % Lost:
2 years Goal Date:
Body Mass Index44.3935986159 BMI Start:
29.1903114187 BMI Current:
28.7342128028 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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I am so sorry you had to endure such rudeness. I would have been upset also. Let me tell you something. I looked at your before and after photos and you look great. The one with the white shorts and black and white shirt you look really good. Don't let any dumb sales clerk bring you down. I hope he got a good a$$ chewing from his boss. Hold your head up high and be proud of what you have done. You look great.
__________________   Love to Share , Health to Spare, and Friends that Care!
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08-20-2011, 11:46 AM
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#3 (permalink)
| | Guru In Training
Join Date: Jul 2011 Location: Outside Richmond,Virginia
Posts: 217
Weight Statistics February 20th Surgery Date:
5' 7"
Height:
273 lb Start Weight:
211 lb Current Weight:
160 lb Goal Weight:
62 lb Weight Loss:
51 lb Lb Left to Lose:
22.7106227106 % % Lost:
Feb 2013 Goal Date:
Body Mass Index42.7531744264 BMI Start:
33.0436622856 BMI Current:
25.0568055246 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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Julie, You know I proud of you on two points, first that you set that sale man straight and also gave him something to think about next time his decides to be rude to another shopper and second that knowing you want to eat some comfort food, you gave them up to play basketball with your step son. You look so good and have done so well. Please don't let it get you down and remember what we think about ourselves in so much more important than what others think! Smile!
__________________
God is Good!
Always enjoying that Sweet Virginia Breeze!   | |
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08-20-2011, 12:29 PM
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#4 (permalink)
| | WLS Master Guru
Join Date: May 2011 Location: Colorado
Posts: 769
Weight Statistics February 1, 2011 Start Date:
AUGUST 30TH, 2011 Surgery Date:
5' 6"
Height:
274 lb Start Weight:
170 lb Current Weight:
160 lb Goal Weight:
104 lb Weight Loss:
10 lb Lb Left to Lose:
37.9562043796 % % Lost:
1 year Goal Date:
Body Mass Index44.2199265381 BMI Start:
27.4357208448 BMI Current:
25.8218549128 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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Aw, I am so sorry. I have felt that sting. I have lived in a small body and now I live in this big body and I am painfully aware of the stares and "perceived" stares. And I know that we are also our own worse critics. And shopping, at least for me, is a very painful chore. When my 70 year old mother started losing weight and I did not and she started giving me her old clothes OMG that was such a wake up call for me. Not only am I wearing clothes with X's in the name but Gramma clothes at that!!!
Honey, you only have to worry about 2 people. And the first one is most important and that is you! And the second person already sound very supportive. And he already said you look great. I can tell you from my opinion my first goal is health and being slim and fitting into clothes is a bonus!
I can tell you that what you have alread done makes you my hero. And heck, I don't even know you! 
__________________ 
This is my Chihuahua's and I out for a walk. Success is not final, failure is not fatal: It is the courage to continue that counts! - Winston Churchill  | |
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08-20-2011, 12:31 PM
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#5 (permalink)
| | WLS Master Guru
Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: Lynn Haven Florida
Posts: 633
Weight Statistics 9-17-09 Start Date:
09-17-2009 Surgery Date:
5' 2"
Height:
267 lb Start Weight:
117 lb Current Weight:
120 lb Goal Weight:
150 lb Weight Loss:
-3 lb Lb Left to Lose:
56.1797752809 % % Lost:
09-17-10 Goal Date:
Body Mass Index48.8296045786 BMI Start:
21.3972424558 BMI Current:
21.9458896982 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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girl you are doing AWESOME!! dont sweat STUPID ,IT'S EVERYWHERE!! LOL
but about perspective..........i went last weekend and was buying an outfit at JC penny to go out and my daughter was with me. I tried on a pair of black capris and was looking in the mirror saying "oh no these make my hips look big" my daughter was in the dressing room with me and said OMG MOM how can you look big in a size 3 ?
she doesnt understand the journey we go on , although i am almost 2 yrs post op I still have those same old feelings of not being good enough sometimes.
it's very hard but please dont let STUPID UNFEELING PEOPLE make you feel like you are less than you are!!
you are doing great.....you can always come here and speak with people who really understand what you mean!!
much love
Mary
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08-20-2011, 01:46 PM
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#6 (permalink)
| | WLS Master Guru
Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: Kentucky
Posts: 708
Weight Statistics September 2010 Start Date:
12/27/2010 Surgery Date:
5' 10"
Height:
264 lb Start Weight:
151 lb Current Weight:
160 lb Goal Weight:
113 lb Weight Loss:
-9 lb Lb Left to Lose:
42.803030303 % % Lost:
6/27/2012 Goal Date:
Body Mass Index37.8759183673 BMI Start:
21.663877551 BMI Current:
22.9551020408 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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I cringed reading this. I'm so sorry you had to go through this. I think I would have gotten too red face with the part of the store not carrying a larger size, been insulted and sulked out (that's just me). I am glad you told the manager. He probably got a good butt chewing (deserved).
The thing is, we FEEL so much better than what we did before (or I know I do). When I take a look around, most people are still "overweight" according to the BMI index. I remember a commercial with a girl that was well rounded doing cartwheels, backstands, etc. and her point was "I'm fit". Fit is a mentality and way of life, not a certain size. Shallow people get stuck on the size.
You deserve to be happy...you've done an AWESOME job...don't let this pull you down girl...hold your chin high and realize you've accomplished more than more than others have...
__________________  Dr. Mel  | |
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08-20-2011, 03:01 PM
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#7 (permalink)
| | Seasoned Veteran
Join Date: May 2008 Location: Just north of Iowa, not far from I-35. 2nd star on the right and straight on 'til morning!
Posts: 8,641
Weight Statistics December 13, 2007 (pre-op liquid diet started) Start Date:
December 27, 2007 Surgery Date:
5' 9"
Height:
280 lb Start Weight:
172 lb Current Weight:
184 lb Goal Weight:
108 lb Weight Loss:
-12 lb Lb Left to Lose:
38.5714285714 % % Lost:
Originally - 12/08. Actually - 8/08. Goal Date:
Body Mass Index41.3442554085 BMI Start:
25.3971854652 BMI Current:
27.1690821256 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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You've had 2 pre-op newbies and 3 Century Club members respond so far. Make that 4 Century Club members. Only someone who has gone through extreme weight loss and size adjustment can really relate to this. Those who are preparing are highly attuned to it also, but in a different way. (I'm not putting you ladies down in any way. It's that your viewpoint will be a lot more advanced a year from now!)
Either way, you did a super job of handling this situation. A) you didn't lose it B) you recalibrated the jerk who "served" you C) you jacked up his manager (getting a great discount in the bargain!!) and you know what runs downhill!! and D) you turned away from the tempting voices of your former undoing when you got home. You really did develop self-control and discipline losing that 100 pounds, didn't you?? 
Our feelings are still pretty tender about how society used to look at us. I still sometimes wonder if anyone is remarking on my gut. (32 inch waist, Small shirt size, 175 pounds - WHAT gut?? I'm pushing four years post, and I still have a few body image glitches! But I've learned not to let them slow me down, and you will too!
For the record - I looked at your photo album. If I gave you a second look (and it's possible - ya' never know!!  ) it would be one of appreciation for your beauty, not horror.
Listen to your husband. It sounds to me like he knows what he's talking about. No matter what you think (and aren't we all the worst judges of our looks?) he's right!!
CT
__________________ da perfesser
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Dare to live your dream!!
If you want to be healthy for life, do for life the things that get you healthy!! Living healthy takes work. Dying fat is easy!! "That which we persist in doing becomes easier, not that the nature of the task has changed, but that our capacity to do has increased." - HJ Grant
"Do, or do not. There is no try!" - Yoda
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08-20-2011, 07:15 PM
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#8 (permalink)
| | Big Loser
Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: Peabody Massachusetts
Posts: 183
Weight Statistics 1/4/2011 (2 week liquid diet) Start Date:
01/17/2011 Surgery Date:
5' 3"
Height:
278 lb Start Weight:
155 lb Current Weight:
141 lb Goal Weight:
123 lb Weight Loss:
14 lb Lb Left to Lose:
44.2446043165 % % Lost:
When it happens! Goal Date:
Body Mass Index49.2401108592 BMI Start:
27.4540186445 BMI Current:
24.9743008314 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Perfesser  You really did develop self-control and discipline losing that 100 pounds, didn't you?? (Why yes, yes I did!!!)
Listen to your husband. It sounds to me like he knows what he's talking about. No matter what you think (and aren't we all the worst judges of our looks?) he's right!!
CT | Thanks everyone! This is why I love coming here! I always feel better after a good vent!  I know when I look at my before and after pics, I still can't believe what a difference there is! I really have worked hard to get where I am today! Thanks for making me realize that!!
Side note, a friend of my husbands came over today (haven't seen him since December) and he nearly fainted when he saw me!  He just kept going on and on about how great I looked, I think my husband started getting a little jealous!!! LOL!! 
His new nickname for me is "skinny"! Never thought I would hear that.
Bonus side note, bought a size 10 jeans today! Take that rude salesman!!! LOL!!!! 
__________________ "Take care of your body. It's the only place you have to live!" ~Jim Rohn
Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Free Calorie Counter | |
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08-21-2011, 01:59 AM
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#9 (permalink)
| | Super Moderator
Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Tokyo, Japan
Posts: 24,788
5' 5"
Height:
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Good for you plus congrats on the size 10  | |
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08-21-2011, 09:09 AM
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#10 (permalink)
| | WLS Master Guru
Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Hartford County, Connecticut
Posts: 626
Weight Statistics Nov. 2, 2009 Start Date:
May 13, 2010 Surgery Date:
5' 6"
Height:
345 lb Start Weight:
157 lb Current Weight:
160 lb Goal Weight:
188 lb Weight Loss:
-3 lb Lb Left to Lose:
54.4927536232 % % Lost:
January 2012 Goal Date:
Body Mass Index55.6783746556 BMI Start:
25.3376951331 BMI Current:
25.8218549128 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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Reading the original post made me tear up. I can't believe that salesperson. I am so glad you handled it the way you did. I have been fortunate when shopping. The salespeople have been more than helpful to me, telling me I need smaller sizes than what I am picking up. Needless to say, I frequent those stores!
Congrats on the size 10 too.
Nancy
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