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Old 08-05-2007, 05:34 PM   #1 (permalink)
Kenyar
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Mount Vernon, NY
Posts: 7,556

Weight Statistics

4/1/07
Start Date:
4/19/07
Surgery Date:
5' 9"
Height:
258 lb
Start Weight:
165 lb
Current Weight:
165 lb
Goal Weight:
93 lb
Weight Loss:
36.0465116279 %
% Lost:
04/19/2008
Goal Date:

Body Mass Index
38.0957781979
BMI Start:
24.36357908
BMI Current:
24.36357908
BMI Goal:

Weight Loss Method
Roux en Y Gastric Bypass
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Question Hmmmm...

I guess I have been doing a lot of soul searching and diggin deep lately. It seems odd to me that I have lived in this apartment complex for 8 months now.
Example #1 Every morning and every evening i see the same people. its kind of like routine. we are our own community within a community so to speak. anyhow, of course recently due to the weight loss people speak to me that never have before. And while I am friendly and respond in the back of my head I am wondering if I should bother. They never "saw" me before WLS. Now all of a sudden it's "good morning!" "how ya doin"

I know that if I am going to start living life, dating etc, I cant be bitter about how my life was before. I need to let it go. BUT, to what extent?

Example #2, my daughter's father. We broke up for good in December. We really dont deal with eachother at all, but now all of a sudden he wants to spend time up here (in Connecticut, he lives in NY) He wants to call and "talk" all hours of the night. He wants to send me text messages all day etc. Now, we broke up (more than once) for a reason. Why on earth would i start spending time with him again? Because NOW he's attracted to me? I dont get it. Is all supposed to be forgiven just because HE is attracted to ME now??

I know I shouldnt hold grudges against people in general. And that part of living life is letting go, but if people never took the time to know me before WLS, why would I want to get to know them now???? It's like you lose a little weight and all of a sudden the expectation is that you are everyone's friend regardless of past issues. I mean, do I automatically have to be friendly?? LOL!

What are your thoughts?
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Old 08-05-2007, 06:19 PM   #2 (permalink)
MsVickie
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Location: Floyd County Virginia
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Weight Statistics

September 19th 2007
Start Date:
September 19th 2007
Surgery Date:
5' 10"
Height:
363 lb
Start Weight:
211 lb
Current Weight:
165 lb
Goal Weight:
152 lb
Weight Loss:
46 lb
Lb Left to Lose:
41.8732782369 %
% Lost:
12/31/09
Goal Date:

Body Mass Index
52.0793877551
BMI Start:
30.2720408163
BMI Current:
23.6724489796
BMI Goal:

Weight Loss Method
Roux en Y Gastric Bypass
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Well be Kenya. Dont begrudge people for what they did earlier unless it was painful to you, even then you have to let it go at some point. I cant get into your daughters father with you. I have no idea the situation and the reasons why yall are not together. Im sure you know what that is deep in your heart. That one you will have to make on your own. Remember even tigers cant change there stripes...... they only change for the worse.

Now for the complex you live in. I dont know how it was before honey but did you ever think your holding your head higher now? Mabye a little bit.
People do judge you on your weight. That is why I always say Hello ! It takes there eyes off the rest of me and hopefully see me not my weight.

Your also probally in a better mood to now. Maybe? We touched on this subject back in a post that ArmywifetoAriel done a few months back. People was telling her not to lose her sense of humor with the weight. I suppose in there minds they think eveything changes. As we know it can build charater and self esteem. But what was in your heart before will still be there no matter how much you lose. Your Kenya. Your not gonna lose yourself in you WL path. You didnt say if you had seen your ex since you have had surgery or not. Perhaps that is it? I have no idea just remember the why before and that should set you on the right path to what you need to do about it.

This is all I can offer mabye some of it made sense.
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Old 08-05-2007, 06:21 PM   #3 (permalink)
Ladyhawk
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Weight Statistics

3-16-2007
Start Date:
July 23, 2007
Surgery Date:
5' 7"
Height:
284 lb
Start Weight:
177 lb
Current Weight:
160 lb
Goal Weight:
107 lb
Weight Loss:
17 lb
Lb Left to Lose:
37.676056338 %
% Lost:
7-23-08
Goal Date:

Body Mass Index
44.4758298062
BMI Start:
27.7190911116
BMI Current:
25.0568055246
BMI Goal:

Weight Loss Method
Roux en Y Gastric Bypass
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It is amazing isn't it, how people don't seem to see you when you are over weight. Haven't lost enough to experience what you are.

I guess it is part of what they warned me about in the psych classes about people and the changes wls bring to relationships. They told us that 90% of wls patients who are married get divorced. Pretty harsh stats.
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Old 08-05-2007, 06:22 PM   #4 (permalink)
BOOTS
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Weight Statistics

7/16/07
Start Date:
7/16/07
Surgery Date:
4' 11"
Height:
230 lb
Start Weight:
148 lb
Current Weight:
115 lb
Goal Weight:
82 lb
Weight Loss:
33 lb
Lb Left to Lose:
35.652173913 %
% Lost:
12/31/08
Goal Date:

Body Mass Index
46.4492961793
BMI Start:
29.889112324
BMI Current:
23.2246480896
BMI Goal:

Weight Loss Method
Roux en Y Gastric Bypass
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Tuff Subject

I Too Have Thought About This Subject, But Its To Early For Me To Experience It Yet. Im Not Sure How To Answer This For You Hun. It Has Boggled My Mind Also For When My Time Comes, How Will I React? Im Sorry I Cant Answer This For You But Hopefully Someone Else Can.

I Would Like To Hear The Answer As Well. Because In Our Society People Look Down On Overweight People. I See On Tv All The Time Where They Do Experiments With An Overweight Person And A Thin Person And Its Always The Thin Person That Get The Job Or The Man Or The Attention, Etc
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Old 08-05-2007, 06:30 PM   #5 (permalink)
Kenyar
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Location: Mount Vernon, NY
Posts: 7,556

Weight Statistics

4/1/07
Start Date:
4/19/07
Surgery Date:
5' 9"
Height:
258 lb
Start Weight:
165 lb
Current Weight:
165 lb
Goal Weight:
93 lb
Weight Loss:
36.0465116279 %
% Lost:
04/19/2008
Goal Date:

Body Mass Index
38.0957781979
BMI Start:
24.36357908
BMI Current:
24.36357908
BMI Goal:

Weight Loss Method
Roux en Y Gastric Bypass
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it all makes sense of course i just dont want to be that chick that lost weight and is now "better" than everyone else, but at the same time people didnt speak to me before at all lol. I think i deserve better. a little better at least

My daughter's father is a train wreck waiting to happen. we had 10 YEARS of history. i've been cheated on, left stuck in situations, used, my credit destroyed etc (you get the picture )all because before i thought i couldnt do any better. now that i know or at least have hope that i can, i dont really need him lol! yes he has seen me since WLS a few times here or there. and i have caught him looking, but im just not interested.

I guess in a sense the way people treated me before WAS painful to a certain extent. It's like when you are big you either get stared at for how big you are, or people look right past you and dont notice you at all. to actually have eye contact with people now is strange.

True indeed sometimes i catch myself holding my head higher than before. And that MIGHT be why people are actually speaking to me. I just notice how people are towards me now more than before....it's pretty interesting to say the very least.
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Old 08-05-2007, 06:32 PM   #6 (permalink)
Kenyar
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Location: Mount Vernon, NY
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Weight Statistics

4/1/07
Start Date:
4/19/07
Surgery Date:
5' 9"
Height:
258 lb
Start Weight:
165 lb
Current Weight:
165 lb
Goal Weight:
93 lb
Weight Loss:
36.0465116279 %
% Lost:
04/19/2008
Goal Date:

Body Mass Index
38.0957781979
BMI Start:
24.36357908
BMI Current:
24.36357908
BMI Goal:

Weight Loss Method
Roux en Y Gastric Bypass
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ladyhawk View Post
It is amazing isn't it, how people don't seem to see you when you are over weight. Haven't lost enough to experience what you are.

I guess it is part of what they warned me about in the psych classes about people and the changes wls bring to relationships. They told us that 90% of wls patients who are married get divorced. Pretty harsh stats.

90%!!!!!!! glad i never got married
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Old 08-05-2007, 06:58 PM   #7 (permalink)
bren
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Location: Milford Kansas
Posts: 1,205

Weight Statistics

09/01/2006
Start Date:
5' 4"
Height:
254 lb
Start Weight:
144 lb
Current Weight:
140 lb
Goal Weight:
110 lb
Weight Loss:
4 lb
Lb Left to Lose:
43.3070866142 %
% Lost:
02/01/2008
Goal Date:

Body Mass Index
43.5942382812
BMI Start:
24.71484375
BMI Current:
24.0283203125
BMI Goal:

Weight Loss Method
Roux en Y Gastric Bypass
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You do get more attention as a "skinny" person than overweight. Some of it is just enough to piss ya off
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Old 08-05-2007, 08:06 PM   #8 (permalink)
Ladyhawk
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Location: Texas
Posts: 1,632

Weight Statistics

3-16-2007
Start Date:
July 23, 2007
Surgery Date:
5' 7"
Height:
284 lb
Start Weight:
177 lb
Current Weight:
160 lb
Goal Weight:
107 lb
Weight Loss:
17 lb
Lb Left to Lose:
37.676056338 %
% Lost:
7-23-08
Goal Date:

Body Mass Index
44.4758298062
BMI Start:
27.7190911116
BMI Current:
25.0568055246
BMI Goal:

Weight Loss Method
Roux en Y Gastric Bypass
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Kenya, I know -- I couldn't believe the stat. Very scarry.
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Old 08-05-2007, 08:54 PM   #9 (permalink)
Chilly
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Location: Near St. Louis, MO.
Posts: 950

Weight Statistics

04/17/2007
Start Date:
April 30, 2007
Surgery Date:
5' 5"
Height:
296 lb
Start Weight:
160 lb
Current Weight:
150 lb
Goal Weight:
136 lb
Weight Loss:
10 lb
Lb Left to Lose:
45.9459459459 %
% Lost:
05/21/2008
Goal Date:

Body Mass Index
49.2515976331
BMI Start:
26.6224852071
BMI Current:
24.9585798817
BMI Goal:

Weight Loss Method
Roux en Y Gastric Bypass
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You just NEVER realize how much things change about Y O U during this whole journey. Never in a MILLION years would I have thought that SO much is involved in this.
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Old 08-05-2007, 09:00 PM   #10 (permalink)
Kenyar
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Location: Mount Vernon, NY
Posts: 7,556

Weight Statistics

4/1/07
Start Date:
4/19/07
Surgery Date:
5' 9"
Height:
258 lb
Start Weight:
165 lb
Current Weight:
165 lb
Goal Weight:
93 lb
Weight Loss:
36.0465116279 %
% Lost:
04/19/2008
Goal Date:

Body Mass Index
38.0957781979
BMI Start:
24.36357908
BMI Current:
24.36357908
BMI Goal:

Weight Loss Method
Roux en Y Gastric Bypass
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thats very true chilly.

the funny thing is that going into this i thought the hardest thing would be exercisng or portion control. NO WAY. the brain work is the toughest part by far.

I must admit though i have mixed feelings about the attention. i am cool with it to a certain extent. but i am a little irritated by it as well. because i was always me. and if people would have bothered to get to know me they would have known me all this time, ya know?? GOSH!
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Lap RNY 4/19/07




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