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10-03-2007, 02:02 PM
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#1 (permalink)
| | Seasoned Veteran
Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: NY
Posts: 10,172
Weight Statistics 4/19/2007 Surgery Date:
5' 9"
Height:
260 lb Start Weight:
152 lb Current Weight:
165 lb Goal Weight:
108 lb Weight Loss:
-13 lb Lb Left to Lose:
41.5384615385 % % Lost:
Body Mass Index38.3910943079 BMI Start:
22.4440243646 BMI Current:
24.36357908 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
 |  Opinion
I guess this one is tough. No one maybe able to offer feedback unless they were in or can see themselves in a similar situation.
My sister offered to take my daughter for 6 months while I get life straightened out. My initial thought was, OH MY GOD WHAT AM I GOING TO DO WITHUOT HER. but then i thought about it. and i think it would be good for both of us actually. we have never been apart. not over night. and the longest we are apart is while i am at work. i think we could use the space to be honest. and i could use some ME time. I have been doing the single parent thing for 5 years, with the exception of the few months her father and i got back together this past year.
i do feel a bit guilty, because I want to send her. I want to not have to rush home after work. i want to go to the gym. i want to date. i want to get my finances in order and save money (there will be no daycare bill if i send her) i mean i dont by any means just view my daughter as a dollar sign or as a monthly expense, but i think i need a break. 6 months is a long time and of course i could always go get her whenever....
thoughts?
__________________  KenyaR.  Lap RNY 4/19/07 | 
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10-03-2007, 02:02 PM
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#2 (permalink)
| | Seasoned Veteran
Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: NY
Posts: 10,172
Weight Statistics 4/19/2007 Surgery Date:
5' 9"
Height:
260 lb Start Weight:
152 lb Current Weight:
165 lb Goal Weight:
108 lb Weight Loss:
-13 lb Lb Left to Lose:
41.5384615385 % % Lost:
Body Mass Index38.3910943079 BMI Start:
22.4440243646 BMI Current:
24.36357908 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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oops i forgot to say "OT" sorry 
__________________ KenyaR. Lap RNY 4/19/07 | |
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10-03-2007, 02:12 PM
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#3 (permalink)
| | WLS Master Guru
Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Louisiana
Posts: 899
Weight Statistics 4/23/07 Surgery Date:
Height:
385 lb Start Weight:
257 lb Current Weight:
190 lb Goal Weight:
128 lb Weight Loss:
67 lb Lb Left to Lose:
33.2467532468 % % Lost:
Body Mass Index62 BMI Start:
41 BMI Current:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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Kenya, sometimes a seperation is good for a family. If it will allow you to get yourself together. It may be the best move overall.
You will still have communication with your daughter, via phone or visits so it is not like she is being abandoned by you.
My sister allowed my aunt to keep her kids for a summer that turned into about 6 months while she got her life together. She was a divorced mom with 2 girls and she was drowning, it worked out for her and the kids, they got homesick after 6 months, my aunt lived in Tx and we were all here. But The last six months of that year I took them and they lived with my husband and myself and it really worked out well.
Just search your heart and make the right decision for both of you. Good Luck!
Roz
__________________ Too Blessed to be Stressed  | |
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10-03-2007, 02:21 PM
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#4 (permalink)
| | Guru In Training
Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: pittsburgh, pa
Posts: 321
Weight Statistics 06/04/2007 Start Date:
08/14/2007 Surgery Date:
5' 9"
Height:
379 lb Start Weight:
235 lb Current Weight:
200 lb Goal Weight:
144 lb Weight Loss:
35 lb Lb Left to Lose:
37.9947229551 % % Lost:
asap!!! Goal Date:
Body Mass Index55.9624028565 BMI Start:
34.6996429322 BMI Current:
29.5316110061 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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There is nothing wrong with accepting a little help with your kids, they are very keen to whats going on in our lives, even though we try to hide the hard parts of it, she might not tell you but they can pick up on our stresses and insecurities, it might be a break for her too, than when she comes home and some of the stresses are hopefully eliminated she will feel better too...GOOD LUCK!!!! 
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10-03-2007, 02:51 PM
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#5 (permalink)
| | Newbie
Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Cane Ridge TN
Posts: 1
Weight Statistics 1/7/2008 Surgery Date:
3' 0"
Height:
323 lb Start Weight:
275 lb Current Weight:
170 lb Goal Weight:
48 lb Weight Loss:
105 lb Lb Left to Lose:
14.8606811146 % % Lost:
12/2008 Goal Date:
Body Mass Index175.207561728 BMI Start:
149.170524691 BMI Current:
92.2145061728 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodSleeve Gastrectomy
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Everything happens for a reason. God always knows what's best and when it is best for us. I know it will be hard but maybe, this is just what the doctor ordered. Take that time and focus on you, just like you said. Take her up on the offer and enjoy your "YOU" time!!
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10-03-2007, 03:29 PM
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#6 (permalink)
| | Seasoned Veteran
Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: North Texas
Posts: 5,236
Weight Statistics I've lost/gained my whole life!!! Start Date:
Aug 1, 2007 Surgery Date:
5' 8"
Height:
280 lb Start Weight:
154 lb Current Weight:
150 lb Goal Weight:
126 lb Weight Loss:
4 lb Lb Left to Lose:
45 % % Lost:
Summer 2008 Goal Date:
Body Mass Index42.5692041522 BMI Start:
23.4130622837 BMI Current:
22.8049307958 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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there have been days I have prayed someone would do this for me (it would be a HUGE plus if their dad would do what the divorce/courts ordered him to do...but he won't, so I digress).....
I did the single mom thing alone with 2 for over 2 years...it's easier, now that they are older and I remarried, but we all need a break sometimes!
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10-03-2007, 04:02 PM
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#7 (permalink)
| | Seasoned Veteran
Join Date: May 2007 Location: Upstate NY
Posts: 3,239
Weight Statistics April 11th 2007 Surgery Date:
5' 4"
Height:
267 lb Start Weight:
142 lb Current Weight:
150 lb Goal Weight:
125 lb Weight Loss:
-8 lb Lb Left to Lose:
46.8164794007 % % Lost:
Body Mass Index45.8254394531 BMI Start:
24.3715820312 BMI Current:
25.7446289062 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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Kenya I cant imagine being in your shoes. Its gotta be so tough and I give every single parent out there so much credit for what they do. I also dont think I could have my kids leave for a period of time like that. But on the other hand, like I said, I dont do what you do. Do it all alone with no help. I have a wonderful husband who is there to pick up the pieces when Im having a bad day or need help. I can leave the house and go shoping or out whenever i want and not have to take the kids. I can go on my nightly walks and know they are home and being cared for. Or when Im feeling sick or whatever I can stay to him "take over." You dont have that option. I cant imagien having all that responsibilty. So even though I say I wouldnt send my kids my situation is totally different than yours. So if you have the offer and your sister is willing to help then maybe you should try it. How far away would she be? And who says it has to be for 6 months right? You could awlays get her sooner.
You have a huge dicision to make.
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Last edited by A new me; 10-03-2007 at 04:03 PM.
Reason: typos
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10-03-2007, 04:43 PM
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#8 (permalink)
| | WLS Master Guru
Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Near St. Louis, MO.
Posts: 961
Weight Statistics 04/17/2007 Start Date:
April 30, 2007 Surgery Date:
5' 5"
Height:
296 lb Start Weight:
160 lb Current Weight:
150 lb Goal Weight:
136 lb Weight Loss:
10 lb Lb Left to Lose:
45.9459459459 % % Lost:
05/21/2008 Goal Date:
Body Mass Index49.2515976331 BMI Start:
26.6224852071 BMI Current:
24.9585798817 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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If only I could have that opportunity. It's a tough decision, because of course you will miss her terribly, but I KNOW what you're going thru. I have been a single parent for 18 yrs. With the exception of about 4 yrs when me and my husband were "together". We would separate and end up getting back together because I NEEDED his help. It is a DAILY struggle when you are the only parent. And not saying that you are a bad parent, because I don't feel that you are, but when we are faced with these struggles day in and day out....it hurts our roles as parents. We are stressed to the max, so you don't think about parent/kid time. Because you are constantly battling the life issues in your mind. I'm swimming in expenses I have no money for. I'm behind in bills. I just want to run away from it all. And when you have those feelings/emotions, you can't give the kids all they need emotionally. Because we're not in a "good place". I think you should try it. You could always get her back when things change or if you miss her too bad. But I feel that alot of good can come from this. 
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10-03-2007, 04:56 PM
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#9 (permalink)
| | WLS Master Guru
Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Cuero, South Texas
Posts: 529
Weight Statistics May 1, 2007 Start Date:
June 25, 2007 Surgery Date:
5' 4"
Height:
280 lb Start Weight:
167 lb Current Weight:
130 lb Goal Weight:
113 lb Weight Loss:
37 lb Lb Left to Lose:
40.3571428571 % % Lost:
December 25, 2009 Goal Date:
Body Mass Index48.056640625 BMI Start:
28.6623535156 BMI Current:
22.3120117188 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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Kenya, I cannot imagine how it must be for you. How far away would she be? I mean like can you see her on weekends? No I am not a judgemental person and only you know what you need to do for both of you. Pray about it. Talk to your daughter and you will feel what is right. But go with your gut. We will support you no matter which you decide. Wish I was close enough to help some other way but.........................
Anyway I will pray for you and your daughter. Mattie
__________________ Grandiose16
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10-03-2007, 05:17 PM
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#10 (permalink)
| | Seasoned Veteran
Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Smiths Station Alabama
Posts: 4,363
Weight Statistics 07/23/2007 Start Date:
July 23, 2007 Surgery Date:
5' 2"
Height:
230 lb Start Weight:
130 lb Current Weight:
125 lb Goal Weight:
100 lb Weight Loss:
5 lb Lb Left to Lose:
43.4782608696 % % Lost:
June 23 2008 Goal Date:
Body Mass Index42.0629552549 BMI Start:
23.7747138398 BMI Current:
22.860301769 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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Kenya,
I think this is a very hard decision for you and just know that we support you in whatever you choose. Pray on it and let God lead the way for you.
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