[Kenyar]

i met up with one of my friends. we met at work about 10 years ago and absolutely hit it off. shortly after we met we found out we had the same birthday. it was then that we became two peas in a pod. we have been VERY close.

we met at old navy (where else? ) to do some shopping. i havent seen her in 2 weeks, MAYBE 3. now apparently in the two weeks that i have seen her i have shrunk some more. she would not stop staring at me and looking me up and down. i saw her while we were shopping. i was a little uncomfortable but i didnt say anything.

we were talking and giggling while picking stuff out. i did not realize until we got to the fitting rooms that she was hiding the stuff she'd picked out in her baby's stroller. i guess she didnt want me to see what size she was. she is the biggest i have ever seen her and i am the smallest she has ever seen me so i felt bad. especially when we left the fitting room and i took everything i had and she left everything she tried on behind.

dont get me wrong. i love her to pieces. but i think we are drifting. i think it is in part due to my weightloss. i dont go out to eat with her anymore, i dont go to her house for pizza and a movie anymore. we dont really hang out anymore at all. i KNOW i have changed. and it is definitely for the better. i am not obnoxious at all about things when i go shopping. in fact, i picked up stuff without her seing too because she made comments that made me feel so uncomfortable about my size. i know she was just joking but when people insist that you are thinner than you think you are, it's awkward.

so i dont know if i should call or and try to talk it out or let this bubble over. i ended up getting my stuff, she said she had to run which would have been fine had i not bumped into her at the mall 1/2 an hour later...
as luck would have it, i needed a belt so i went to the mall because they didnt have any at old navy...and there she was.

i guess this is one of those "relationships" that will crumble? im kinda bummed out about it. i thought we were closer than this.

[Ladyhawk]

So sorry to hear that Kenya. It happens though. Someone told me once that it is because when we were "fat" we were "safe." Not really sure exactly what that means, but I am already noticing a change in the way people react and treat me. It is just hard when it a really close friend that treats you differently. Just hang in there. You have been through so much disappointment in the last week, my heart just goes out to you. You have been such an inspiration to me and others on this board.

[BOOTS]

Dam Kenya Im So Sorry This Has Happened To You!!! I Know What You Mean I Dont Have Many Friends Out Here But I Did Meet Someone About A Year Ago And We Have Been Getting Together To Hang Out With The Kids. She Also Has Some Issues With Her Weight. Ever Since I Have Had The Surgery And I Had Complications She Would Always Call To Make Sure Im Ok But Ever Since She Has Seen Me Again A Couple Weeks Ago And Noticed All The Wt I Lost And I Dress Differently She Has Distance Herself From Me For Some Reason. I Invited Her To Join The Gym I Joined Here Because She Had Mentioned To Me She Might Be Interested. Well Everytime I Email Her Or Anything She Never Gets Back To Me. I Asked Her When She Wants To Get Together And Never Gets Back To Me.

I Just Notice The More Confident And The More Wt I Lose The More Friends That Will Stray . Oh Well!!!

[Kenyar]

i would normaly just say screw it. you guys know how bullheaded i am but this is happening all around me. at work, in my homelife. its getting harder and harder to feel secure and good about myself when more and more people turn their backs on me. i actually asked a group of friends if they would help me move when i thought i was moving, and ONE of them replied saying he didnt have plans for this weekend but because it was his birthday he wanted to keep it open....WHAT THE HELL?

again, im not down in the dumps so much about it. in fact im a little shocked about how little its affecting me. if she(the friend i went out with today) turned her back on me a year ago, i would have sat and cried about it. im a little bothered, but not to the point of crying or being emotional...wierd huh? no idea what to do. i guess i will make some new friends. my pink vest seems to be attracting all types of people LOL!!!!!!

[ilovemykids]

I am so sorry. It seems when it rains it pours doesn't it? Maybe your friend just feels bad about herself. Don't lose track of her and inspire her to become healthy too. Maybe you can try to do something together that doesn't involve eating. (Sometimes that is easier said than done, though.) Just keep plugging on. You have inspired me so much.

[nygal]

Hey ya'll!

I haven't posted much- been so busy. But you are always is my thoughts and prayers!!

*Kenyar-- you look AMAZING!!! they are just jealous that you have taken control of your life and are living it.

I have not even had my surgery yet-- and my own sister (soon to be ex eatting buddy) is already giving me the cold shoulder. My mom is a bit testy too-- they keep saying how i won't be FUN anymore... that our Friday night hangout will be boring b/c i won't want to have pizza and ice cream and stuff. They have already counted me out of their "fun" times. It hurts, but makes me greatful that I am taking the steps to healthier living and that i can be an example to them--- maybe we can take walks together and they will make healthier food choices.

As for my friends, some just don't get it but support me anyway (so far) and some won't ever get it... for them, I figure they can either get over it, or move over to make room for my new friends! LOL!!

My surgery is TOMORROW Oct 15---

Mather Hospital, "The Cody Surgical Pavillion", Belle Terre Rd., Port Jefferson, NY.
The direct# is: 631-476-2717 in case anyone wishes to call me :>)
*just ask for Fran Esposito.

I can't believe it is really here!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have been fasting and done ok. I just took my magnesium citrate (10oz) for the bowl cleansing that is required- YUK!! and OUCH!!! lol

I had a scare though this past Thursday--- Dr was ready to cancel my surgery.... I went for my final checkup and found my white cell count was way off-- so they discovered I had a UTI and put me on antibioics. I had new blood work done this morning, and everything checked out and I am cleared for surgery- BUT i did not know for sure that i would have the surgery tomorrow, until 12noon today!! WOW- was i anxious or what? LOL-- talk about last minute... ha!

God Bless,
Francesca

[tgorne]

How exciting! I'll be praying for you.

T

[kimtindall]

Kenya, I am so sorry...heck with them! Jealousy rears its ugly head again! You are beautiful inside and out. Dont worry so much...you dont need friends that are not true to you anyhow. We love you! )

[Ladyhawk]

Fran -- Good luck with your surgery tomorrow. Hope you have a safe and uneventfull surgery. Make sure to let us know when you get back home.

[MsVickie]

Kenya,

This sucks. Honey I know it does. Perhaps one thing you can do now with her is not got shopping for clothes? Mabye it is intimidating. I dont know. I know when my cousin had her surgery done a couple of years ago it didnt bother me in the least that she melted away. The thing that bothered me however is about 6 months after she approached me about my weight and tryed to talk to me into either having the surgery or doing a diet. I was totally appaled. I told her what I thought to. She cried. I didnt comfort her or say I was sorry. Later that afternoon when I got home she called and appoligized to me. She had to remember how it was all them years she struggled with it.

We were the eating buddies if there were ever eating buddies. Our vacations together centered around food and shopping for clothes. We used to make fun of ourselfs all the time for being overweight. When she had that surgery it all stopped.
She still up until the day I had mine would get so mad at me for making fun of myself. It was a way I delt with it.

What we had to do without knowing we did it was do things together that didnt involve shopping for clothes or eating. You can find so many things to do without doing either. I think you should call her up and talk with her. Mabye she will come out and tell you what was bothering her.

Then again some people are just natually drawn to fatter people like lady hawk said because there safe. The other one always looks better, gets a dance first etc..... I have had my share of those friends myself. But its ok. Im who I am. I dont want my weight loss to change me. Just the outside of me a bit.