[Rachael]

After working out, my boyfriend and I were snuggled up on the couch relaxing when the phone rang. I heard him give his parent's address. He also said something about his fiance (which is news to me, assuming he means me - lol) he hung up and said, "hummmm." I asked him what it was about and he said it was about his 40th year reunion.

My brain was stunned and kind of stopped. I couldn't figure it out. I said, 40 years?!!! I was thinking, "MY GOD!!! 40 years?!!!" Try as I might, I couldn't comprehend it. I was thinking, "Darn, you are old, baby!"

I asked him when he graduated. He said, "1968." I counted the years and realized I graduated 33-1/2 years ago.

I just freaked out. ARE WE REALLY THAT OLD? Then I realized that it isn't just that we are that old, but 17/18 is that young!!! I can't believe how young it really is, though I left home at 17 - and now watch my 15-year-old son struggle with his (rather lame) attemts and fierce desire at independence.

Anyway, I asked him if he was going to go. He said, very emphatically, "NO!" Then added he has not gone to any of his reunions.

I don't for a moment take him as the reunion type, but for a moment I stopped to wonder if he might not feel more like going if I were thin. I mean, when I was thin, I was a knockout. I can't help but wonder just a little bit if some of him not wanting to go is because he would be ashamed to be seen with me.

I just don't know if I will ever be able to get past his remark the time when we were "taking a break" for a couple of years where he said something about the realization he was in love with a fat lady. I don't think it bothered me when I lost a bunch of weight after that, but now that I'm a "fat lady" again, there are times that rings in my head until it really hurts.

[MsVickie]

I dont think it has anything to do with you honey. He had reunions long before you met him and didnt attend. I have never attended any of mine but I will the next. Because I will be thinner, yea a bit of that but mainly because i see so many now that I went to school with and I just love it. There are so many that have died. Each time i see that I wished that I had seen before they passed. Im 42 and we have lost 8 so far. All so far have been to drugs or suicide. This is from a class of 106. So fat be dammed I will show up next time.

[clancythecamper]

As I watched our reunion being planned, I noticed it was the same people who ran everything in high school, it seemed to me it was just a way for them to remain the "it" crowd and I really couldnt care less if they're still "it" or not. I only wanted to find one specific friend which I did when they called me to see if I was interested in attending or not and when I hooked up with her I found that we really arent compatible all this time later. Then I had no reason to go at all. It had nothing to do with fat, whether or not my spouse had hair or we'd made millions of dollars. I dont live in the past, I live in the now. PS I've heard those hurtful words before myself, and it really isnt your problem unless they're your thoughts too. Once you come into your own and get comfortable in your own skin, such things have less controll over you. As you go thru the journey, you will see amazing changes both with your thoughts as well as your BF, the physical changes are important, but the mental and emotional work is probably more important! Best wishes

[Rachael]

Yes, well what really got me was the 40 years part. LOL. I just don't think of myself as even remotely possibly being old enough to be with someone who graduated high school 40 years ago...until I figure how long ago it was for me too. It was quite a shock.

I really don't accept my age well. LOL.

[traciflud]

I agree with clancy, I did not go to my 10 year reunion, not because of fat, but because I hated most of the High School experience and was not part of the "IN" crowd ever, they were very mean and I only have a handful of friends, whom I still keep in touch with and they are the only ones I care about today. In fact my friends all went to the 10 year reunion and they said the same as clancy, it was put together by the "in" crowd and they all acted just the same as they did in High School, and all the "other" people were ignored. I will not be going to 20 years either, just because of this. Maybe your fiance feels the same????

[Rachael]

Originally Posted by traciflud

I agree with clancy, I did not go to my 10 year reunion, not because of fat, but because I hated most of the High School experience and was not part of the "IN" crowd ever, they were very mean and I only have a handful of friends, whom I still keep in touch with and they are the only ones I care about today. In fact my friends all went to the 10 year reunion and they said the same as clancy, it was put together by the "in" crowd and they all acted just the same as they did in High School, and all the "other" people were ignored. I will not be going to 20 years either, just because of this. Maybe your fiance feels the same????

Oh, I'm quite certain he does. I mean, I know I do. I am not even in touch with anyone from high school, changed my name, moved away, never even so much as thought about a reunion. I didn't do any of the high school activities when I was there (football games, dances, prom, etc) so I don't know why I would now, and I know Jim is the same way. I mean, if this is the 40th reunion and he hasn't gone to how many others, it says that clearly to me.

I was just more than blown away that I am with someone who is even having a 40th year renion. It just doesn't seem possible - well, I guess it does, I just have a hard time believing it.

Lets face it, I can do something about the weight, and while I don't think I look anywhere near my age, there is not a thing I can do about getting older.

[MsVickie]

Yes the IN crowd plans these things because we chose them while we was in school to run it ! LOL I remember them telling us the last year we voted for president etc..... these were the people that had a long time commitment for years to come to plan things like reunions. I wasnt in the IN crowd or the OUT crowd. I was me. I like giviing them the benefit of the doubt and think they GREW up some. LOL.

[qt82699]

i agree i dont think it has anything to do with you, although in our minds we always think it does, think it has to do with the great self esteem that comes along with being overweight..it is funny how as i get thinner, i dont really care what anyone thinks, self esteem has been one of my most treasured gifts from this journey. just remember you are a beautiful person or he wouldnt be with you!