[OMCV]

I'm a bit frustrated. I back from having my gallbladder out, they felt it could not wait. It only worked at a 27% HIDA scan & when they pulled it out there was slugde but no stones.

Anyways I have had a tough recovery. DH said tonight that if I wanted to still do the ALS surgery I would be doing on my own, becuse he can't deal with the hospital & possible loss of me.

[wannabe skinny]

i don't think i would have had surgery without my husband's support. it's easy to understand your husband's concern for you going through surgery - but the other side of this is that the surgery will certainly help you to live a healthier life where you will be around for a LONG time!

[mlg78]

Wow. Granted, I don't know your situation at all...but I work with couples in trouble professionally...and this screams controlling behavior to me.

While it's great he seems to accept you the way you are, it's disturbing to me that he doesn't want you to be healthy so you're able to be there for your children for decades to come. My own surgeon was on Discovery Health on Sunday morning and he compared the death rate for WLS to be similar to a hip replacement surgery...meaning slim to none. According to my surgeon, the most common complication tends to be a blood clot which is typically caused by the patient not moving...so only the patient, in my opinion, can truly be blamed since they take many steps in the hospital to prevent blood clots so if you don't keep moving once you get home...you're only hurting yourself.

Good luck...

[mommytoj&k]

I don't think that I could have had the surgery without my husband's support and approval. It was important to me that this be a family decision because we are all affected by it. Luckily he was, and still is, behind me 100%.

Obesity and its complications are just as much a threat to your life. Hopefully he will understand that in time. He is scared and that is understandable considering all you and he have gone through.

[clancythecamper]

Wow, that's a toughie ~ I can't say I would have or wouldn't have but I can't imagine going through it without my family support. DH, my mom, my kids, my best friend, my boss, this site ~ all worked together to help me succeed. Perhaps some education on your spouses part is in order? They always scare you half to death with the risks and possible complications but you have to put them into perspective. Surgery is always somewhat scarey. Wishing you well in your recovery.

[DocSanae]

Have you been going to the pre op sessions--support, surgeon, nuts, etc etc--with your DH? If not, then the first thing to do is to have him tag along. Give him the chance to hear first hand accounts, the chance to ask questions himself. He has his own fears that he must conquer, and to do so, first hand info and person to person contact is best.
Also, right at this moment, he may be having second thoughts because you are still fresh out of your GB surgery. Give him time to settle down a bit, and his perspective may change.

((((((HUGS)))))) Hope it this works out.

[OMCV]

DH went to the first meeting, but my next appointment is not until the 18th (four hour appointment with surgeon, nutiturist & physc). He works until 2:00 pm, though my appointment starts at 1:00. He will be about 15 to 30 minutes away. I guess being there for some of it is better then none of it. The past few days he told me that he feels like he over reacted. That this point we have not made the decision, as we do not have all the information to do so. That made me feel much better. Maybe in the end I will not qualify. If I do we will take everything into consideration and go from there.

Thank you ladies as always for being so supportive!!!!

[Imlosinit]

I think I probably wouldn't have the surgery without my husbands support, but then I think I may have resented him if he'd said no. Fortunately, I didn't have to find out because my husband has supported me 100% the whole way through. I even asked him if he had any reservations recently because of some of what I was reading on here about other spouses. His answer was that he was totally comfortable with me having the surgery and he'd be there backing me up all the way.

Having said that.... although I know people have said to have your DH at the meetings... my bariatrics group does NOT allow spouses or family members to attend any of the meetings until we're at the level of where we meet with the surgeon 1 on 1. He couldn't come to the initial seminar, none of the nutrition classes or the psych appt. He'll, hopefully, come with me when we meet the surgeon if he can get out of work.

[ruiz4747]

It is understandable how he feels, but are you at health risk if you dont?
I am not married and my family wae extremely supportive. My pastor/boss was not, he thought i looked fine. I went on family genetics and how miserably my knee joints and out of breath just to keep a conversation going. I dont want to be skinny, just healthy. I send you hugs.

[kimtindall]

I am sorry that you are having to deal with this. I can honestly say that I would NOT have done it without the support of my husband. He was and is my ROCK! It took me some time to get him on board with it though. Only after an appt with a cardiologist after my moms heart attack, he decided that he would be there for me. He was scared of losing me too, but even more scared of the possibility of losing me from a heart attack that was just waiting to happen. Good Luck to you.