[kyacmom]

It looks like my husband is going to have gastric bypass this summer and I am a little freaked out! Not only am I scared for the operation and his health, but I also have anxiety about the life style changes my family will have to make! What can I do to make things easier for him? and my 6 and 8 year old?

J

[DocSanae]

Hello kyacmom, welcome to the board.

Your DH is going to have this surgery to improve the quality of his health, and to be able to be with you and your children for a long time to come, isn't he? I can understand your anxiety, and the first thing you should do is to attend seminars and support meetings with your husband. Learn as much as you can about the surgery beforehand. Feel free to ask questions on this board, or to join us in chat in the chat room. Keep yourself well informed. Your interest in the procedure will tell your husband that you are supporting him.

First off, talk thoroughly about this with your husband. Why he wants to do it, how he feels his life will change. You also should talk with him how you feel, what your hopes are, what your fears are. Be honest with each other, but remember, keep the discussion objective, and focused. Don't let your emotion get the better of you. Don't push your husband into a corner, but at the same time, don't get yourself pushed into a corner, either.

Yes, your husband will have to learn a whole new way of eating with his new stomach, and it is not the surgery itself that lets him lose his weight, but learning and keeping the new diet together with dilligent exercise that has him lose weight, and keep the weight off. While he learns to eat and live healthy for his new pouch, it is a Heaven sent chance for you and your children to learn healthy eating and exercise, in other words, a healthy life style for yourselves. This is a chance for yourself and your children to learn what healthy life style is, and keep it for life, protect your children from future illness and disability.
Make healthy life style the project for your entire family, not just your husband. Just remember, though, not to say, you shouldn't do this, you shouldn't do that, but ask, "What would you like to do?" and add, "I want to do this, because I love to do it, and I think it's good for our health.," if you think your choice is better.

Read the various articles in the main body of this site that Craig has written about post op life, based on his own experience. They should give you an idea of what post op life is like.

And last but not least, keep those questions coming!!
It's the best way to show your support for your husband.

[kyacmom]

Thank you, Thank you for your reply! I know that this is the best choice for our family. I guess fear of change and the unknown is what I am going through now. I have attended the first of many appointments with my husband and am so glad I did. I am confidant that together we can get through this change and be healthier together!!!!

I'm sure you'll see me on this board as we journey down this new path.

Thanks!!

[Pillows]

Hey, welcome to the message board. I am going to have surgery April 4th, and I just want to tell you that you are doing the right thing by asking for information and advice about the surgery here. It is great to see some new blood posting. I personally think that we need to have a separate message board/something for concerned significant others to be able to voice their stress and anxiety. Unfortunately a lot of time you guys are overlooked. I am glad that you feel comfortable talking to us. Remember to still take time out for little things to help you unwind. You are not going to be much good to hubby if you let yourself and needs get pushed out of the way during this process. Show support and try to be there for him, which it sounds like you already do, and add to it lots of prayer. This is a scary change to make, but a lot of times the really worthwhile things in life really are. Remember in the months to come to take time out together at least once a week and date each other. You need to fortify your relationship and make it so that neither of you feels neglected or left out. Try to ask any more questions that you may have. We are here for you and wish you and hubby the best of luck.
Janae

[RobinZ]

Hi kyacmom,

I know that you must be going through a lot right now, but I am 3 1/2 months post-op and I have to tell you it was the best thing I ever did for myself. My husband was very anxious too, very nervous about the surgery itself and the changes after. But we went through the process together, important for both of us, and everything has gone smoothly (knock on wood!). I feel incredible, I'm doing great, losing weight, happier and healthier than I have been in years. My hubby is happy too. Not because of the weight loss, but because it is making ME happy and healthy. And I'm so proud of him because he was able to get over his initial problems with the surgery and has supported me 100%.

I wish you both luck in this journey.

RobinZ

[DocSanae]

There's a Faimily and Loved Ones section in the Winning at Losing board.
You can post about your family there, too.

I'm sure this journey will strengthen the bond between your husband and you.
May you be blessed and kept throughout the journey.