[CraigT]

Healthy Boundaries – The Softer, Gentler Way

I had read that Jack Russells need plenty of time outdoors. Keeping a Jack indoors all of the time would be bad for him in the long run. He needed to be outside in nature, with lots of sun and excitement. Behind my house, I hammered into the ground a stake with a ten foot rope attached, giving Frankie almost the entire backyard to play in safely. I really felt that I was being generous with the diameter of play space I had given him.

Knowing that our first few minutes apart would cause him a bit of separation anxiety, I brought out some of Frankie’s favorite toys and chew things. He loved his toys, and nothing could distract him from them. Oh, how wrong I was.

I spent the next several hours watching a painful demonstration of will. Frankie didn’t give a darn about the toys and just wanted to come inside. He tried every possible technique of hopping, skipping and jumping to break the boundary within which he had been placed. No matter what kind of running start he would take, he would let out a shocking whelp as his back feet with flung out in front of him while his neck found the end of the rope at the exact same place every time.

Frankie could not see me as I sat behind the blinds watching him repeat this painful cycle. As much as I wanted to just run out and get him, all I could remember was one warning I heard about this breed: “The number one killer of Jack Russells is cars.” Jacks, having no sense of boundaries, will run out into traffic thinking that everyone on the road wants to play as bad as they do. As painful as it was going to be, I had to let Frankie get used to his boundaries.

Training Works for Owners, Too

I found myself speaking aloud to him while watching him through the window. After his neck would jerk back at the end of the rope, I would tell him to just relax and stay within his area, and it wouldn’t be so painful. I was trying to keep this dog from killing himself. Why wouldn’t he just stay in his safe area and relax? I had given him all of his favorite snacks and toys. I didn’t understand why he was being so freakin’ stubborn.

Then, out of nowhere, I heard my own words being spoken to me. Why did I have to fight against all my own boundaries? How many times had I gone out to play in “deadly traffic” knowing that I had ventured far from my safety zone? Because of my unwillingness to stay within healthy limits, I got so fat that I had to have radical weight loss surgery. Because of my unwillingness to examine the roots of my behavior, I found myself struggling with alcoholism. Did I have to have the bumps and bruises from my neck jerking back at the end of my rope? I had everything I really wanted within my reach. But, just knowing that there was a boundary around me was almost like a challenge in itself. Who in the world had any right to tell me what was good for me? Even me? Unlike Frankie, I had learned the pain of hitting the end of my rope. I, indeed, did know better.

Today, I still periodically feel the paralyzing sting of having my feet pulled out from under me as I step across the line. Fortunately, though, because I am aware of my natural tendency to play in traffic and forget the boundaries, I find myself in trouble less and less often. I know that as I build up a good head of steam to charge through the edge of the safe zone, I can actually slow down and change my direction long before I actually hit the end of the rope.

I’m still a long way from perfect behavior, but, thanks to lessons learned from Frankie, life is getting better every day.

[M1806]

He's precious! ~M~