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02-13-2008, 12:08 AM
| #1 (permalink) |
| Seasoned Veteran  Join Date: May 2007 Location: minnesota
Posts: 4,301
Weight Statistics july 21, 2007 Start Date:
august 17, 2007 Surgery Date:
5' 6" Height: 339 lb Start Weight:
179 lb Current Weight:
160 lb Goal Weight:
160 lb Weight Loss:
19 lb Lb Left to Lose:
47.197640118 % % Lost:
Body Mass Index 54.7100550964 BMI Start:
28.8882001837 BMI Current:
25.8218549128 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss Method Roux en Y Gastric Bypass  |  my dilema!!  ok here goes...i dont even know where to start, i think i have touched on a little of what my married life has been like over the years, i have been thru so much with my hubby, i have been thru him doing meth and going to treatment 5 times and jail several times, him cheating and leaving me for other women, and so many aweful things i cannot even begin to say it all. i have wanted to leave for years and have a couple times, even went so far as to do the restraining order a few times, i guess before i was so insecure i felt lonely by myself, i have never quite liked being alone, stems back to when i was 14 and watched my dad get shot and killed by my brother, ok i am so rambling!! anyways my dilema now is... i met this guy awhile ago and ever since we have been talking and texting, is this totally horrible of me to like him?? i am not use to being treated nicely and i feel guilty about it, even though at the same time i feel i have earned this right to be treated nicely. i know the true answer is to never start anything before one thing is complete, i learned that from dr. phil...lol i also have brought up to hubby, before i even met this guy that i want a divorce and his response is the same as always...why dont you leave and making comments and then nothing!! ok just had to vent and show you how messy my mind is!! lol
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02-13-2008, 01:13 AM
| #2 (permalink) |
| Super Moderator  | (((((HUGS)))) As you lose weight and you yourself start seeing the person you kept hidden till now, there will be lots of *crap* that you had kept swept under that proverbial corner of the rug. This can be very tough for you, but learn to love yourself first, care for yourself first above anything else, and the answer will come naturally to you. When you think of your kids, you may lose steam, but please keep in mind that kids can only be truly happy only when their parents love who they themselves are, and so can give the security that their parents are secure in themselves. You made the tough decision of getting this surgery, and living with all that the surgery package brings. You are a strong and efficient woman who deserves the best of everything that the world has to offer. (((((((HUGS))))))
__________________ "In every job that must be done, there is an element of fun."   Just a li'l bit 'bout myself  |
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02-13-2008, 01:21 AM
| #3 (permalink) |
| Guru In Training  Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Indianola, Iowa
Posts: 232
Weight Statistics May 5 Surgery Date:
5' 6" Height: 307 lb Start Weight:
214 lb Current Weight:
150 lb Goal Weight:
93 lb Weight Loss:
64 lb Lb Left to Lose:
30.2931596091 % % Lost:
June 2009 Goal Date:
Body Mass Index 49.5456841139 BMI Start:
34.5367309458 BMI Current:
24.2079889807 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss Method Roux en Y Gastric Bypass | I know what u mean. I went through a similar experience with my 1st husband. I never got attention, was treated very terribly, alot of mental abuse that could have ended with physical abuse. I met a guy who treated me very good, gave me more attention than I'd ever had. After a while I decided that I deserved better and I divorced my husband. At that time the guy I fell for ended up in prison with my brother for drugs and other stuff.(I always seem to pick the guys who need help, lol) I waited a year and once he got out we got together and had 2 kids. Unfortunatley he wasn't used to the straight and narrow and left when our 2 nd child was 2 weeks old. I was alone with my 4 kids for almost 2 years when I met a wonderful man who is now my husband of 5 years. It hasn't always been easy but one thing I do know is everyone deserves happiness! Although we have our share of fights, he loves me and always shows it. And he loves me for me. He never saw my weight as an issue, even when I gained the 45 lbs. since we met. If u have a chance at happiness take it! I do agree though it's best to end one before the other gets too serious, it can get really crazy. I did that, almost took my ex back while I was dating the man I am married to now. So Yes it's alot less stressfull to end one first. It's hard in the beginning, at least it was for me but just think about what could be. Best of luck to you. Angie
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02-13-2008, 04:56 AM
| #4 (permalink) |
| Seasoned Veteran  Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Hudson Falls, NY
Posts: 2,301
Weight Statistics 12-19-07 Start Date:
1-29-08 Surgery Date:
5' 3" Height: 286 lb Start Weight:
176 lb Current Weight:
150 lb Goal Weight:
110 lb Weight Loss:
26 lb Lb Left to Lose:
38.4615384615 % % Lost:
eventually Goal Date:
Body Mass Index 50.6570924666 BMI Start:
31.1735953641 BMI Current:
26.5684051398 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss Method Roux en Y Gastric Bypass | I'm so sorry for all you've been through. And you shouldn't feel guilty for liking this guy and enjoying his attention! You deserve some joy in your life. You've worked really hard on YOU physically, maybe it's time to work on you emotionally now.
__________________ Kelly  5'3"    |
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02-13-2008, 05:13 AM
| #5 (permalink) |
| Seasoned Veteran Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Tampa, FL
Posts: 1,819
Blog Entries: 8 Weight Statistics July 10, 2007 Surgery Date:
5' 6" Height: 271 lb Start Weight:
147 lb Current Weight:
145 lb Goal Weight:
124 lb Weight Loss:
2 lb Lb Left to Lose:
45.7564575646 % % Lost:
Body Mass Index 43.7357667585 BMI Start:
23.7238292011 BMI Current:
23.4010560147 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss Method Roux en Y Gastric Bypass | I know this has to be a difficult decision to make, even if you already know what you want/need to do. I think Doc said it best. Wishing you wisdom to decide and peace once you get there.
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02-13-2008, 08:36 AM
| #6 (permalink) |
| WLS Mentor  Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: North West, NJ
Posts: 1,250
Weight Statistics 1/14/2008 Surgery Date:
5' 10" Height: 330 lb Start Weight:
248 lb Current Weight:
180 lb Goal Weight:
82 lb Weight Loss:
68 lb Lb Left to Lose:
24.8484848485 % % Lost:
Summer 09 Goal Date:
Body Mass Index 47.3448979592 BMI Start:
35.5804081633 BMI Current:
25.8244897959 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss Method Roux en Y Gastric Bypass | Before surgery I read that book "weight loss surgery for dummies" and it touches on every aspect people go through. One chapter did say that a higher percentage of people leave their spouses after surgery, not because of vanity, but because as they start to come out of their shell and feel better about themselves they start to feel stronger and realize they may not have been happy in their marrage but didn't have the courage, or self worth to leave. It doesn't sound like you just woke up today and deceided, you've known for a while this isn't the way it should be. I agree, end one before starting another, but only when you are ready. I wish you courage, love and peace.
__________________  Denise |
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02-13-2008, 09:15 AM
| #7 (permalink) |
| Seasoned Veteran  Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: WADING RIVER (Long Island), NY
Posts: 4,860
Weight Statistics 7/16/07 Start Date:
7/16/07 Surgery Date:
4' 11" Height: 230 lb Start Weight:
139 lb Current Weight:
115 lb Goal Weight:
91 lb Weight Loss:
24 lb Lb Left to Lose:
39.5652173913 % % Lost:
12/31/08 Goal Date:
Body Mass Index 46.4492961793 BMI Start:
28.0715311692 BMI Current:
23.2246480896 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss Method Roux en Y Gastric Bypass  | Hun It Probably Hard For You To Even See It Yourself But You Do Deserve The Best And Do Your Kids. Growing Up I Always Remember My Mom And Dad Fighting And I Was Only 3 And It Has Stuck With Me For Years!!! So Thats One Thing To Keep In Mind When It Comes To Your Kids Well Being. Now For You, Like I Said B4 You Deserve The Best In Life. Its Pretty Scary To Leave But Once You Do You Will Really Find The Real You And What You Are Really About. Find The Peace And Love You Deserve In Life. About 7 Years Ago I Was In A Very Similar Situation With My Ex Boyfriend, Drugs, Jail, Abuse, All That Great Stuff. I Sure Know How It Feels To Be Trapped!!!! Boy Do I Know That Feeling, Wanting To Get Out And Yet So Afraid To Do It. But I Have To Say 7 Years Later I Am Married To A Wonderful Man And Have A Beautiful Daughter, We Have A Great Life, Beautiful Home And Somtimes I Still Think Its Kind Of Weird That There Is No Drama In My Life Like I Was Used To. But This Is What Normal Life Is Suppose To Be About. I Really Hope You Find Your Peace AlsoHugs Xoxoxo
__________________ 3/2008 PREG. START WT 144LBS. GOAL WILL HAVE TO WAIT TILL AFTER BABY  230 lbs 7/2007 & 142 lbs 4/2008     |
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02-13-2008, 10:33 AM
| #8 (permalink) |
| Seasoned Veteran  Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Alabama
Posts: 2,536
Weight Statistics 9/28/07 Start Date:
9/28/07 Surgery Date:
5' 6" Height: 279 lb Start Weight:
189 lb Current Weight:
165 lb Goal Weight:
90 lb Weight Loss:
24 lb Lb Left to Lose:
32.2580645161 % % Lost:
18 months Goal Date:
Body Mass Index 45.0268595041 BMI Start:
30.5020661157 BMI Current:
26.6287878788 BMI Goal:
| I don't really have a lot of advice for you because I think you have to make your own decision in this area, but I did want to say that I wish you the best. You deserve it and you will know what is right for you.
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02-13-2008, 11:07 AM
| #9 (permalink) |
| Seasoned Veteran Join Date: May 2007 Location: minnesota
Posts: 4,301
Weight Statistics july 21, 2007 Start Date:
august 17, 2007 Surgery Date:
5' 6" Height: 339 lb Start Weight:
179 lb Current Weight:
160 lb Goal Weight:
160 lb Weight Loss:
19 lb Lb Left to Lose:
47.197640118 % % Lost:
Body Mass Index 54.7100550964 BMI Start:
28.8882001837 BMI Current:
25.8218549128 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss Method Roux en Y Gastric Bypass | thanks to all of you for your kind words, i know what the right decision for me and my kids is it is just a matter of taking the steps to do it, and i feel now that i feel better about myself i can work toward that. i really am happy to have all of you in this process, you are all a Godsend!!!!
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