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01-07-2009, 06:52 PM
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#1 (permalink)
| | WLS Master Guru
Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Maryland
Posts: 516
Weight Statistics 01/03/2007 Start Date:
12/04/2007 Surgery Date:
4' 10"
Height:
246 lb Start Weight:
135 lb Current Weight:
130 lb Goal Weight:
111 lb Weight Loss:
5 lb Lb Left to Lose:
45.1219512195 % % Lost:
08/2008 Goal Date:
Body Mass Index51.4084423306 BMI Start:
28.2119500595 BMI Current:
27.1670630202 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
 |  I need some advice
A friend of mine contacted me about six months ago concerning WLS. She wanted to have it and asked me how was things going. I worked with her for over six months and since we have the same insurance, I got her with my doctor. She had been having trouble losing the required weight, so I had been helping her do that too.
I had not talked to her over the holidays and when I get back to work. One of my co-workers tell me she decided she wasnt going to have the surgery after all. I am a little disappointment that she decided not to go through with it but now I feel she is avoiding me. Maybe she thinks I will be upset. Should I approach her or just let it go?
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01-07-2009, 07:03 PM
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#2 (permalink)
| | Seasoned Veteran
Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Troy,ny
Posts: 2,799
Weight Statistics Since birth:) Start Date:
August 5, 2009 Surgery Date:
5' 6"
Height:
319 lb Start Weight:
189 lb Current Weight:
150 lb Goal Weight:
130 lb Weight Loss:
39 lb Lb Left to Lose:
40.7523510972 % % Lost:
sometime in 2010 Goal Date:
Body Mass Index51.4823232323 BMI Start:
30.5020661157 BMI Current:
24.2079889807 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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I would just ask her what she decided to do as far a the WLS.....tell her that you are not upset with her. Tell her it is her decision as to have the surgery or not and that you will be there for her no matter what she decides.
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01-07-2009, 07:14 PM
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#3 (permalink)
| | Seasoned Veteran
Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: NY
Posts: 10,174
Weight Statistics 4/19/2007 Surgery Date:
5' 9"
Height:
260 lb Start Weight:
152 lb Current Weight:
165 lb Goal Weight:
108 lb Weight Loss:
-13 lb Lb Left to Lose:
41.5384615385 % % Lost:
Body Mass Index38.3910943079 BMI Start:
22.4440243646 BMI Current:
24.36357908 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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is she a good friend or an acquaintance? just curious. i would totaly talk to her about it. worst case is she doesnt want you to be "mad" she didnt to it too. you cn still herlp her eat right. it would still be a battle WON not lost. she mayneed support. either way it had to be a hard decision and IF she is worried you'll be mad it will ease her mind to know that you are not.
__________________  KenyaR.  Lap RNY 4/19/07 | |
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01-07-2009, 07:30 PM
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#4 (permalink)
| | WLS Mentor
Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Rochester NY
Posts: 1,003
Weight Statistics 1/13/08 Start Date:
11/17/08 Surgery Date:
5' 4"
Height:
288 lb Start Weight:
165 lb Current Weight:
160 lb Goal Weight:
123 lb Weight Loss:
5 lb Lb Left to Lose:
42.7083333333 % % Lost:
11/2010 Goal Date:
Body Mass Index49.4296875 BMI Start:
28.3190917969 BMI Current:
27.4609375 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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Maybe she thinks she's wasted your time and thinks you'll be mad or disappointed. If you aren't either of those then let her know that the friendship is still there.
__________________ Sarah Lost 15 lbs before surgery
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01-08-2009, 12:29 AM
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#5 (permalink)
| | Seasoned Veteran
Join Date: May 2008 Location: Just north of Iowa, not far from I-35. 2nd star on the right and straight on 'til morning!
Posts: 8,641
Weight Statistics December 13, 2007 (pre-op liquid diet started) Start Date:
December 27, 2007 Surgery Date:
5' 9"
Height:
280 lb Start Weight:
172 lb Current Weight:
184 lb Goal Weight:
108 lb Weight Loss:
-12 lb Lb Left to Lose:
38.5714285714 % % Lost:
Originally - 12/08. Actually - 8/08. Goal Date:
Body Mass Index41.3442554085 BMI Start:
25.3971854652 BMI Current:
27.1690821256 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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Be sure and let her know that you understand that WLS is not for everyone, and each person has to make a decision that works for them. That'll go a long way to defuse her thoughts that you would be mad she didn't follow in her footsteps.
CT
__________________ da perfesser
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Dare to live your dream!!
If you want to be healthy for life, do for life the things that get you healthy!! Living healthy takes work. Dying fat is easy!! "That which we persist in doing becomes easier, not that the nature of the task has changed, but that our capacity to do has increased." - HJ Grant
"Do, or do not. There is no try!" - Yoda
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01-08-2009, 02:34 AM
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#6 (permalink)
| | Super Moderator
Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Tokyo, Japan
Posts: 24,788
5' 5"
Height:
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I think it's okay for you to approach her the way da perfesser says.
She's probably afraid of what you may think, and getting flack from you, so let her know that it's her decision, and you'll support her, whatever her choice is.
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01-08-2009, 05:13 AM
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#7 (permalink)
| | WLS Master Guru
Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Tennessee
Posts: 990
Weight Statistics Feb.08 Start Date:
Nov. 10th 2008 Surgery Date:
5' 7"
Height:
314 lb Start Weight:
225 lb Current Weight:
160 lb Goal Weight:
89 lb Weight Loss:
65 lb Lb Left to Lose:
28.3439490446 % % Lost:
Body Mass Index49.1739808421 BMI Start:
35.236132769 BMI Current:
25.0568055246 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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I agree with everyone else. Talk to her and let her know you are still there to support her no matter what she has decided.
__________________
Loving my new life.   | |
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01-08-2009, 06:21 AM
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#8 (permalink)
| | Seasoned Veteran
Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Davenport, IA
Posts: 1,848
Weight Statistics 12/28/06 Start Date:
May 14, 2007 Surgery Date:
5' 5"
Height:
253 lb Start Weight:
191 lb Current Weight:
150 lb Goal Weight:
62 lb Weight Loss:
41 lb Lb Left to Lose:
24.5059288538 % % Lost:
Body Mass Index42.0968047337 BMI Start:
31.780591716 BMI Current:
24.9585798817 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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Yep, talk to her and let her know you are okay with whatever her decision is. Let her know that she needs to do what is right for her.
__________________ Jeanne   | |
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01-08-2009, 08:20 AM
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#9 (permalink)
| | Seasoned Veteran
Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Mississippi
Posts: 5,198
Weight Statistics 3/18/2008 (dieted all my life) Start Date:
9/30/2008 Surgery Date:
5' 8"
Height:
292 lb Start Weight:
192 lb Current Weight:
189 lb Goal Weight:
100 lb Weight Loss:
3 lb Lb Left to Lose:
34.2465753425 % % Lost:
2 years Goal Date:
Body Mass Index44.3935986159 BMI Start:
29.1903114187 BMI Current:
28.7342128028 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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ditto lol just what every one else said
__________________   Love to Share , Health to Spare, and Friends that Care!
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01-08-2009, 03:47 PM
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#10 (permalink)
| | WLS Master Guru
Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Maryland
Posts: 516
Weight Statistics 01/03/2007 Start Date:
12/04/2007 Surgery Date:
4' 10"
Height:
246 lb Start Weight:
135 lb Current Weight:
130 lb Goal Weight:
111 lb Weight Loss:
5 lb Lb Left to Lose:
45.1219512195 % % Lost:
08/2008 Goal Date:
Body Mass Index51.4084423306 BMI Start:
28.2119500595 BMI Current:
27.1670630202 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss MethodRoux en Y Gastric Bypass
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Thank you. She is a co-worker/friend. We hang out sometimes. Well I did talk to her today. I almost had to pin her down but I cleared the air with her. She did think I was going yell at her and she didn't want me to be disappointed that she decided not to go through with it. Well I told her the choice is all hers and whatever she decides I will back her. Then I had to explain to her that no I didn't come to the conclusion right away that I was going to have this surgery. Heck it took me two years to build up the nerve.....lol So things are cool now and we back to eating lunch together.
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