[tweetybyrd2009]

For my whole life I have been so overweight that I closed off from the world and now that I am losing weight I am still sitting home in front of the tv for hours (most of the time not even watching it but having it on for noise). My daughter and grandchildren have moved out and I don't know how to go about getting a life of my own now. I spent the last four years helping to raise my grandkids and now I am all alone and very depressed alot. Any help would be greatly appreciated.

[DocSanae]

Oh. An empty nest. That is very lonely and sad. If your weight has kept you from finding friends, it must be hard on you now.
Does your surgeon have any support groups? Where you can meet real live people, those who are on the same journey as you are? Or do you go to church? Even if you don't, are there any activites that you might be interested in? Can you think of any hobbies that you had wanted to take up in the past?
What about exercise? What do you do for exercise, now? Do you go out and walk? Go to the pool and swim? Or to the gym to workout? Do you say hi to anyone when you are out exercising? Go a bit further and try to strike up a conversation, even if it's only about the weather. Or the pretty flowers, now that it is spring.

Why not make a list of what you were interested in, in tha past, before you had to help raise your grandchildren. Then go over the list, and maybe you will find something that still intersts you.
Maybe you are a shy person, but you are the one who has to take that first step out. Once you do, and reach out, it may surprise you how many are close by, not just here in the forum, but in your neighborhood as well.

You know, I imagine, up to now, you have been living your life for others. Don't you think now that your daughter and grandchildren have moved out to shape their lives, it's your chance, your turn to live for yourself, to become the person who you had wanted to be, especially since you have been able to shed the weight that had been weighing your wings down until now? A chance for you to spread your wings. I am sure you have very beautiful wings, and you fly gracefully.

Lastly, if you feel that your depression is a serious issue, do not hesitate to get professional help. Even if you feel reluctant about it, you will be surprised how much this will help you.

May your journey bring you true joy and happiness, ((((((HUGS)))))))

[tweetybyrd2009]

I will sit down and think about what I might be interested in doing and see what I can find to do. As for the depression I am already on an antidepressant and will see my doctor if the depression gets any worse. It is very hard for me to make friends and I know I have to take the first step. I am working on it. Thanks again for your response.

[DocSanae]

Any time, tweety. We're all here to help, support, and to sustain each other. None of us are truly alone. Some one is always here, some one is always somewhere around, you only have to reach out.

(((((HUGS)))))

[fr1endly2]

Just wanted to offere some (((((HUG)))))))
doc gave you great advice.

IT IS very common to hit a depression post op about
were you are, IT hit me bad! SO if its really getting you
talk to a professional...
AND im glad you found this site a great place to start
to make new friends going thru similar issues as you.

[LittleLisaMarie]

What you are feeling is ok. You have taken a first step you have reached out to us here and thats a good place to start. Looking forward to getting to know you better.

[Pillows]

Tweety, I have dealt with depression a lot throughout my few short years and I know what you are talking about when you say that you just numbly watch tv not to watch it but for the distraction. Have you ever learned how to knit or quilt or anything crafty like that? Maybe you could take up something like that and sell your crafts at a local flea market or farmer's market. I have a friend that started making fleece blankets while she sold some scones at a farmer's market and someone offered to buy it from her so she started making more. She is now selling a lot of them so many that she can't hardly keep up with the orders from repeat customers let alone build up inventory, besides helping provide extra income for her family. This is something that you can do that gives you mini goals, like finishing a project, then you can also meet people and interact with them in a non threatening way when you go to sell them. She also sells knitted baby hats and various other things, you may just need to find your niche. Good luck and keep us informed of how you are doing.
Janae

[tweetybyrd2009]

Thanks all for the support and advice. It is so nice to have a place to go.

[Pillows]

anytime sweetie, anytime.
(((((Huggs))))
Janae