[concernedwife2007]

Well thank you all again. You are all being extremely helpful. I showed my husband this site and told him my concerns and he seemed uninterested. he says he wants to do this but he isnt really acting towards it. But now we have a new conflict. I dont know how we are going to manage this surgery. He will be out of work for the time, so we will be living off of just my income. On top of that I will be a full time student in college and trying to help out my mom. My mom is getting the surgery in october and my gram is getting it in february. so right now it is just one thing after another. I just am not sure how to deal with all of this stress. any suggestions?


Concernedwife

[DocSanae]

I think you had best leave this stuff about your husband as is, for now. Not push any further. Let it be.
Since you say both your mother and grandmother are getting the surgery in the near future, get that done first, and help them where you need to. That will give you a better idea of what this surgery is truly like, and what post op life is going to be like. This should help your husband get a better grip on what needs to be done, and what he needs to do on his part. It may be just the wake up call that he needs.
So, my advice is to let it go for now. Concentrate on yourself, on what you need to do. Your husband still has the time and the chance, a very good chance to seeing the full effects of this surgery first hand, and come to the realization of what he needs, and choose what is best for him.
((((((HUGS)))))))

[fr1endly2]

HUGS i agree with doc....
at this point its up to him to move
and make steps if he is really interested
in doing this.

YOU have put things in front of him
and he has to be ready.
PERHAPS its best he sees how the
other relatives come thru the surgery
and do and it my sway his feelings
and interest!

GOOD LUCK and plz keep comeing here to vent your
stress!
hugs

[cindylouwho]

They're so right. In fact I'm the family Guinea Pig I think. We are a BIG PEOPLE, and my father in law has horrible knees and is seriously thinking about the surgery but wants to see how I do first. I hope I make a good impression, because he really needs the surgery.

[Kenyar]

yep i agree. i think you should take the time to focus on you. if this is something he wants, he'll come around eventually and then you can be the support he will need to get thru it. until then, you do what you need to do for YOU.

[MsVickie]

You deal with it as you need to honey. It seems overwhelming right now but Its not as bad as it seems. Great on your MOM and grams having it done. Perhaps after they have this done.....your hubby will see the change and then pursue it. Like I said before its gonna have to be his decision. Darlin he will come to a point and then.... pursue if that is his intention. I agree with the other post on the issues with him. You gotta relax and breathe. Check into seeing if your hubby has short term disability insurance through his employer. If so that will help if he ever decides to pursue it.

[rozzy345]

I agree with MsVickie, maybe after your hubby sees the benefits from your mom and grandmom he will look into more seriously. Sometimes things happen for a reason, if he is being apethetic right now maybe he will have more interest later. For now, you have done all you can do, just continue to be supportive.

Roz