[hami_girl]

So here is my problem ...... The hospital where I had my surgery also has a "support group" website where persons who have had the surgery there share questions, concerns, and advise to help others. I guess that the dieticians at the hospital read all of the emails also and when need be respond.
Here is what happened .... someone wrote in about the hairloss issue we all face, I responded back to that email with my personal experience with the hairloss noting that not only do I have very bad hairloss but that also I take partial blame because of not taking vitamins as I should and also not eating protein as much as I should all being because of my vommiting problems. I had a couple people respond to that with helpful suggestions and also concern that I see my surgeon, and then I had another respond telling me I needed to "buck up" and do exactly as my surgeon instructed and also that I was going to "screw this up by not doing as Im supposed to. While I was responding to her email and letting her know that I have not seen my surgeon besides the 1 postop visit as I was released from his care into my pcp, so he does not give me advise anymore and also trying to explain how the vitamins and most protein effect me I received a phone call from nonother than my surgeon "reminding" me that hairloss is to be expected from this surgery and questioning that initial email I sent about hairloss, I tried in that conversation to talk to him about the vommiting problem I have but all he wanted to address was the email. I told him that the response I got telling me to "buck up" pissed me off because I try hard to take in as much protein as possible and when I am able I do take my vitamins ( knowing as most of us do how difficult and painful it is to vomit after this surgery, I try not to do what I know will cause it ) anyway .... his only advise to me is that if people are going to upset me with what I read then maybe I should remove myself from that group, which I did.
Now I know I dont do all of this right and I gladly accept and need any advice that those with great experience can give, but I dont think that beating someone up with words is being helpful in any way, and I also feel my surgeon should have been more concerned with the important issue not what I wrote about hairloss ( and I dont think I wrote anything wrong about that anyway ). So my question is .... am I wrong to have been affended by both what this woman wrote and also by my surgeons phone call? Sorry this took up so much room but this has been weighing on my mind for more than a week and with all we have been dealing with in hospital stays ( yes we were back in there for the pst week ... again ) and my husbands health I really dont need any extra stress and yet if I am the one wrong here and I need to fix my attitude, I want to know that too. Thanks in advance. Much love, Kathy Anne.

[DocSanae]

Awwww, ((((((HUGS)))))))
First off, congratulations on your wonderful weight loss, and achieving Century Club, I see you've lost over 100lbs already.

There are all sorts of people in this world, so you will find that you feel hurt from time to time with other people's reactions to what you think. Some people will have good points, others will give you replies/reactions that are totally out of focus. You will have to learn to sort out the one from the other, and not to let the totally out of focus ones stress you out.

That said, personally, I think your surgeon's reaction was wrong in asking you to remove yourself from the support group, and in not hearing you out on your vomiting problems. Not to scare you, but however long out you are, there will always be the possibility of developing some kind of obstruction, whether it be stricture or hernia/torsion among other things, as a result of adhesion from surgery that involves abdominal organs. This happens with any abdominal surgery, whether it be gall bladder removal, hysterectomy, gastric bypass, so, this isn't specific to gastric bypass. Every surgeon is supposed to be aware of this problem, so the first thing he/she needs to do is to rule out this possibility by asking you specific questions at least. So, he should see you personally, or if he's released you to your PCP for all the follow up care, then suggest that you ask your PCP to refer you to a gastroentrologist, if that hasn't been done already.

Of course, your problem with intake and vomiting may be a result of not being able to keep up with your required intake, getting into a bad cycle of vomiting-> lack of intake-> voimiting -> lack of intake. Sometimes, it's easier to take care of this by administering the vitamins and nutritents by IV and let things level out, then go back to your regular program. Also, have you talked with your PCP about meds that will relieve nausea? If you have a hard time taking pills, then there is a suppository for nausea, so using that until you are better is an option, too.
Anyway, since your surgeon seems to have a not so nice bedside manners, it might be better to take this to your PCP, talk it over, and get referred to a gastroentrologist.

I commend you that you are very much aware of your intake and why you are not being able to keep it up. It's okay to vent, whine, whatever, because just writing it down in words will help you get a better perspective of things, and also give you a chance to get some help in quarters that you didn't think of, if you need them.

There are all sorts of people who will say all sorts of things to you from one end of the scale to another.
Just listen to what you need to hear (not what you want to hear, mind you, that is something else, and likely to get you into trouble) and don't let what you don't need bother you.

(((((HUGS)))) May your journey go well.

[beckamarie]

I dont think you were wrong at all. I think your surgeon is an a$$. I hope you can find out the reason why you are vomitting and such. Hugs

[kimtindall]

I am so sorry that you are going through this. I used to be a part of another forum that my surgeons office monitors and if you said anything on that board regarding your surgery or the system they used, you would get a phone call from the office manager! That really pist me off. The boards are there for you to vent, suggest and talk with other people. And if you have them telling you what you can and can not say, why be there??? Becka had it correct when she said that your doc was an A$$! I hope that things get better for you.

[A new me]

Well I would have to agree with Becka and Kim. Man i wouldnt want that surgeon. Come on he isnt even discussing the real problem with you. yes hairloss is a problem but come on you could have other issues. And for him to tell you to remove your self from the support group. Wrong wrong wrong!!! Support is one the biggest things I feel after this surgery that we all need. Come on.
Sorry your going thru all this. hang in there.

[hami_girl]

Thanks so much for the support and for the suggestions DocSanae. I still take my b12 since it comes in shot form, in fact I did ask my dr if the rest came in shots and iI was told no.
I have dealt with this problem since the very beginning, somedays as good but usually not. I did have an upper GI maybe 5 mths back but the results were normal with a nice and small stomach so Im hoping that one day this will just pass. My dr has given me lots of meds for the vomitting/nausea from the supositories to one they give chemo patients and I do take them when it gets bad but usually its just a matter of bringing out what I put in and then Im fine. I do think DocSanae has a point about intake though because the days that I can take in more I know I feel a heck of alot better and I also LOSE more weight so needless to say I hope I level out soon. Again thanks for the help! kathyanne

[Spikey1341]

I agree he is an A$$. For him to care more about the content of a support board than to listen to you telling him your vomiting problems is just wrong. There are callus people everywhere and I would be upset if someone told me to "buck up" when describing something that was bothering me. Makes you wonder if that woman wasn't from the surgeon's office. We have such a great support system here, just hang with us.

[MsVickie]

I think it says it all when you say he let you go after the first pre op appoitment back to your PCP. PCP's are smart individuals but they are not the surgeon whom physically opened you up and did your surgery. I would almost seek another opinion in your case if that is possible.

[Trulykath]

Sounds like your surgeon has a GOD complex, and he's only worried about his image & NOT YOUR HEALTH & WELL-BEING.....

Call me a bitch...but I have a habit of NOT sticking around where I'm not wanted...life's too short to spend it sparring!

[traciflud]

I was surprised your surgeon only saw you once after your surgery. I saw mine 1 week after, 3 weeks after will be seeing him 3 months out then 6 months the 1 year and yearly after that. I would not think he is more interested in your well being than what his support group he plays Hitler over makes him look like. This place is far better than the one he is "overseeing".