[Pillows]

I have not posted in this section yet, and feel awful for having neglected it. I think that I sometimes surprise people by how much I am not afraid to have this surgery from the begining of my decision and I feel like I need to explain why. Ever since I was young, my family has raised me with a strong Christian background and I am incredibly thankful for that upbringing now that I am an adult on my own. When I first moved here to New Jersey, it was a very difficult adjustment for me. I had to sell the house that meant a lot to me, move clear across the country from my family, and a best friend whom means the world to me. I also left an area where my beliefs were very popular and came to a place where I found myself having to explain my beliefs to most people I meet. The association with my church and the new friends I met here through church is what led me to investigate this surgery seriously. My husband had been praying that I would be softened to it and that I would be willing to give it a try, since my depression was starting to come back into my life and our marriage in a big way. I was just tired of trying to stress myself out 24/7 over my weight and health, and feel like a hamster going on a wheel going nowhere. I decided to pray about the matter and bring it to God. I asked my husband to do the same and we both got the same answer.....PEACE. For me that is a huge thing. When the psych evaluater asked me if I had any fears regarding this surgery I told her that my only fear was not being able to get it since I have not felt this hopeful for the future in years. I realized today that I was more fearful to get my tooth fixed than I am of going into surgery when the dentist started to reach for his drill. I was shaking, and then I remembered that there is never a reason for me to be alone. I have a big brother in Jesus Christ and a loving father in God that are always willing to be there holding my hand, even if it is just because I am having a wus moment in the dentist chair. I stopped shaking, and even though it still hurts, know that everything will be okay. I hope and pray that those of you out there having a hard time will read this and realize that you never have to be alone. He is always there for each of us, no matter how small or trivial it may seem at the time. HE wants us to succeed and knows that we deserve happiness in our lives. I thank Him every day for the many wonderful people that He has brought into my life recently to show me how to salvage the rest of my life and finally feel as though I am choosing to live it. Please feel free to vent any little thing on here, it makes me feel less guilty... I love you all and hope that you have a great night.
Janae

[RobinZ]

Hi Janae,

Wow - that's beautiful. We are of different faiths, but I know just what you mean. (Not just about G-d, but about the fear - of the dentist and the lack of fear for this surgery). I was led down this path for a reason, and this path was cleared for me at this time in my life for a reason.

Thank you for voicing it in such a lovely way!

[Pillows]

Thanks for replying your thoughts back on it. Sometimes I ramble on and don't know if I am making my point understood, or if people get lost along the way....lol. So what faith are you, if you don't mind my asking? I love hearing about how other people's beliefs help them and touch their lives. I think that it is good to believe in something out there bigger than yourself and the others you habitate this earth with. I feel badly for those that don't, because I don't know how I would have survived certain things without the belief of someone on the other side cheering me on. I guess I would rather believe die and find out I was wrong for believing, than not believe die and find out there was some other power. I figure either way, it helps keep me in check and trying to be a better person, so what is the harm? It has been really great having you on the board.
Janae

[RobinZ]

Hi Janae,

Thanks! I'm so glad I found this place! It has been fun to be a part of this group.

I'm Jewish. I agree with everything you say and I too find it sad that some people don't have a spiritual side or any beliefs that we all have someone looking out for us. I am very spiritual and believe deeply that everything happens for a reason and we are given whatever we can handle, even if that sometimes seems to be too much or too hard to bear.

I love comparative religion and learning about other people's beliefs. And you know what, we're pretty much all the same, it's just how we actually practice that usually differs!

I have had many challenges in my life, including my weight, but I know that each challenge is a test of our faith and belief and that if we can overcome that challenge, incorporate the solution into our lives, that we will be rewarded for it. I believe that there is nothing greater for us to do in our lives than to live the best way we can, as the best people we can be. Do a kindness every day and kindness will be returned to you 100 fold.

I have been blessed in my life and I thank G-d everyday for the kindnesses he bestows on me.

I'd love to learn more about you and your faith. As I said earlier, when we compare notes, you'll find that deep down in our core, we are very much the same.

[Pillows]

Hey Robin, any time you wanna know more about my religion, or anyone else for that matter, feel free to ask. It is like I told my neighbors, I would rather be faced with an uncomfortable question that is hard to answer than have people make uncomfortable assumptions about my beliefs. I am sure that you feel the same way, so I will ask you before I make any assumptions about what you personally believe. I think you are right that most religions believe a lot of the same stuff at the core. I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. It is a long title, so most people recognize it as being a "Mormon". I grew up in the west where most people were either a member, or knew a lot about the church, so moving out East here and meeting people that know hardly anything about my church is pretty interesting for me. I do like the fact that my kids are able to be raised in an area where they will be forced to learn about others beliefs and how to respect them and not take their own for granted.
Janae

[RobinZ]

Hi Janae,

I love this conversation!

I actually know quite a bit about the "Mormons". I worked with a very nice young man many years ago who introduced me to it. Then, several years later I was very good friends with a woman from another job who was a member and I used to go to many of her church events. The first person I mentioned, Lance, was from Utah, born and raised, and moved to Washington D.C., where I lived and hired him as my assistant. He was a member of that big beautiful church there (actually in MD). What an impressive building! He was a great person and I was sorry when he left. He moved to Mexico to teach. My other friend, Irene, was born and raised in Connecticut and was a member of a church in New Canaan, CT. I used to help her set up events that they had at the church and felt very welcome by everyone. They didn't care that I was Jewish and didn't care that I didn't want to join their church, they were just happy for the help and fellowship. I spent many lovely days and nights with the congregation.

I never mind explaining my religion or my beliefs. I know just what you feel about trying to eliminate misconceptions when possible.

I'm glad your kids are being exposed to other beliefs. My parents did that with me and my siblings and it DOES make you appreciate your faith more. I find it very interesting that one of the things the Amish do (and the Mormons, I believe) is send their kids out in the world when they are in their late teens, hoping that they will return, but knowing that they need to make the decision for themselves. The statistics are higher for kids returning to their community than for those not returning. Orthodox Jewry (I am not Orthodox) on the other hand, does not try to integrate their children into society in general, keeping to themselves, teaching them in private schools with little or no contact with the world outside their own tight circles. Guess what happens when those kids "break loose" and discover a world outside their own? They leave, they do not come back. There are no statistics about whether they practice another form of judaism or leave altogether, but so many do not return to their strict, exclusionary and restrictive environment. So, the Orthodox do not like their children to even SEE the rest of the world.

[Pillows]

The sending the children out into the world that you are referencing to in Mormons is actually a mission. When male members of our church turn 19 years old, they are encouraged to go out into the world and preach the gospel to those willing and interested for a period of two years. They go out into the world in pairs, and the women also have the option of going at the age of 21. A lot of women don't go on mission at this time of life due to being married, or personal decision. (I was already married.) The missionaries we send out actually have to find a way to fund their own mission, they are not paid. We are encouraged when we are growing up to set money aside to help pay for this journey. They also do not choose where they are sent, but are called to certain areas that need their service. My husband served a mission in the New York Utica area when he was 19. The rules are pretty strict for the missionaries, as they represent our religion to the world, and a lot of times missionaries will come home with a greater appreciation of the upbringing they received, and a better appreciation of the comforts of home. (they have to do their own cooking, cleaning, and laundry...lol.) I think that a lot of times it helps the youth in our church learn great skills that help them succeed not only in our church, but in their marriages and their occupations. All of my six siblings went and served missions, with the exception of my brother Brian who joined the military, and myself, who got married. There are also the opportunities for elderly couples who are able to go on missions together as husband and wife. You will see a lot of these white haired missionaries in our temples and visiting centers. My grandmother and grandfather were able to go on a mission together to Wales where many of my ancestors are from. The building you are referring to in D.C. is a temple. Temples are very special buildings in our religion and sacred ceremonies and covenants are performed there. That is why access is limited to those temples. You have to be interviewed and found worthy in order to go by your local church leaders. One of the most sacred things done in these temples is the ordinance of marriage. One of the ways we differ from some other religions is the belief that families can be sealed together forever and do not have to be apart when they die. When we get married in the temple, we are "sealed" eternally to our spouse and any future children we may have. I am really glad to hear that you felt accepted at our church gatherings and have good memories. I wish that everyone had the same experience, but unfortunately the members are all still human and prone to make mistakes at times. I would love to hear what your religious beliefs are regarding the family unit and what happens when we die. Craig, if you want to kick us off and request that we email this conversation privately, I will respect that decision. But in the meantime, I am open to any questions or observations from anyone. Thanks for your interest Robin.
Janae

[Pillows]

I just laughed at myself when I pushed the post quick reply button..... not exactly a quick reply, sorry.
Janae

[DocSanae]

Allow me jump in.
I am Catholic, but my family is not. I was baptized right after I graduated from med school.

Well, I think I should take things from the start.
My family, on my father's side is of Shinto belief. If you know a little bit of history, you might be aware that it was this Shinto that was used as an excuse in WWII. This was a form known as "nationalistic Shinto", evolved about 150 years ago to unify Japan that was going through a major political change at the time, and the gamut is you are raised to heaven upon death and join the league of gods that guard the country. Shito in truth, is a form of nature worship, and sees gods and goddesses in mountains, rivers, lakes, rocks even...all combined with rich and interesting folklore. Contrary to religion in the more sophisticated form, as far as I know, there is no organized theology or dogma....at least, not that I know of, and I know my father doesn't really know, either. It's mostly about celebrations and observations of things that we consider tradtional, these days, rather than religious. My daughters say, "it's not religion in the true sense, just a collectionand observance of tradition and culture."

My mother's side, and my husband's family as well, are Buddhists, which account for 70-80% of the Japanese, I think the data is.
Added to this mix, one of my aunts on my father's side is a Presbitarian, and her daughter, my cousin a year younger than me, is married into a Catholic family, devout enough to have a nun among them, and a priest as a distant relative...
I also found out farily recently that my sister-in-law is married to an Episcopalian family....
Confusing to say the least...

One of my best friends is married to a Buddhist priest, and when I got talking about religion with him, and told him my family background, he just and said, ooohhhh.....and laughed, asking, how do you keep things straight?
So, I have done....nothing....with my kids. They both know where everyone stands, and I answer questions they ask, expose them to every thing that goes on, and the rest is for them to decide.

I grew up an embassy brat, and lived in Ankara, Turkey from age 6- just before 10, and Washington D.C. from age 12-16. I attended a school sponsored by the British Embassy in Ankara, and local public schools in the US. Before going to Turkey, I went to a Protestant kindergarten, then the British school was, of course, Anglican. However, my teacher was Catholic. (You see, I started out school in English, because of the timing of my Dad's assignment.)
When I was living in the US, pretty much all of my friends attended church or synagogues (there were many Jews at school) or whatever, people still went to religious worship regularly in these times. Our nextdoor neighbor were a Mormon family, and they had a daughter my age, so we went to school together.
In between Turkey and US, I attended a Catholic school because they taught English in their curriculum.
So, I wad exposed to Christianity from pretty early on, but my parents were against my joining. I went along, as any good Japanese girl of a good family would, mainly because I was still depedent on them, and I figured, what was in my heart was most important, not what was on the outside.

When I came back to Japan from the US, I had a lot of studying to do to get into college/med school here. A couple of years to prepare was not really enough, considering the majority of my education up till then had been in English, and outside Japan. I strongly believed I was meant for a medical career, though, so when I sent in my applications and took the exams, I figured, if I was "meant" to be a doctor, I would be accepted, if my application was turned down, I was not meant to be. (My parents were against my choice of career, you see, but I am stubborn when I need to be )
Then, during one of our lab work on anatomy, the "miracle" of our human body hit me....how intricately and delicately our body is made, and I thought, there is an order to this that we cannot fathom, a great "being" that regulates all...we give it the name we can relate to, from what knowlege we have, and for me, it is the Christian God...that was my thought then, that is my thought now.
The day of my medical license boards was on Easter. I had already been baptized then, as I believed that medicine was my vocation, given me by God. On the train home from the exams, I suddenly thought, how heavy the cross must have been for Jesus to bear, with all the sins of all the people already gone, all the people living now, all the people to come. How much He must have loved us to bear that cross for all of us.
I think, that's why I'm here today.

Faith, while organized, is at the same time, only for one's self, only between that person and God, or whatever you call the higher being.
I'll be honest, I don't believe in the Bible word for word, but that it is an analogy of what happened, and guidance of how we should be. The rest is between the lines, and between us and God...or your choice of word.

As I said, my background is too complicated for me to say black or white, for me to judge, or make judgements. If I did that, I would be rejecting most of my family, no matter how good a person they are, and I think that's wrong. And, as others have said, what we seek is not much different, either. I think that is what is most important.
Christianity is love and acceptance, so, I hope I can live up to that, with whomever my road may cross.

Whew, that was a looong speech, I hope I didn't put anyone to sleep.

[Pillows]

wow, doc, that was great of you to jump in here. It is interesting that you brought up the human body in the way you obtained your testimony of your faith. I don't know for sure what your religions position is on this, but my religion believes that we as humans were created in God's image, literally. We believe that He looks like us and that this earth life is a trial that our spirits had to go through to kind of "finalize" our becoming like Him. We chose to come here and receive bodies, receive free agency, and prove that we can overcome the natural temptations of our physical bodies and the temptations of this world in order to learn and grow and someday return into His presence when we die. We believe that we are all brothers and sisters in an eternal sense as humans, so we refer to each other with the title of Sister or Brother when we address each other at church. As far as a lot of Christian faiths are concerned, they do not consider us to be Christian, but we are. We believe in Christ. We believe that he died for us and that only through Him may we be saved and return to our Heavenly Father. We believe in the Bible, as long as it is translated correctly. We believe that there were many changes made to the Bible in the time of the falling away of the true church of Christ after His death and resurrection. We believe that people in power changed certain phrases and omitted others in order to sway people to their way of thinking. These kind of changes unfortunately are not ceasing to happen even now by some groups from what I hear. I believe that studying the Bible is a very good way to come to know Christ and our Father and to therefore understand our own natures better. There are many inspiring versus within its pages. One of my fave possesions is my PDA, because I have all of my scriptures downloaded on it along with my music, pictures, contacts, notes, and schedule. There is a free download available somewhere on the internet of an ebook version of the Bible made available by my church. That is how I downloaded it. They also sell e-versions of our religions writings by our prophets and apostles, our hymn book, every work done by Shakespeare, Jane Austin, and other classical literature all in one package. I love it because when someone asks me a question I have the resource available to look up right then and there. I also love being able to read my scriptures when waiting for my doctor, or my prescriptions to be filled. That is one thing that I am not leaving home without when I have surgery April 4th. Even if I don't read it, it is comforting to know that those reassuring words are there. You didn't put me to sleep. You were very informative and interesting. Feel free to pitch in some more of your philosophy.
Janae