[Kenyar]

natural and familiar are two words i could live with. unexceptional is somewhat negative i think. LOL.

[not quite Barbie]

So back to the "false advertising" thought. When we're clothed we can pass for normal to some extent - obviously not if we're wearing a sleeveless blouse or a bathing suit, but most of us can tuck and squeeze it in. Some are fortunate enough to have an insurnace policy that will pay for some plastics, or can afford to pay for it themselves, but then there's still scars. Yes, I really feel like it's "false" and maybe that's why I don't feel so great about how I look.

I mean I can't even get around to posting a new picture and I'm 2 sizes smaller than the one that shows up at top, plus I've had some plastics done so I look even better than that picture. But I'm still just not happy with how I look and maybe never will be. It's not like it's a big deal to me, but just not what I expected to feel.

[Kenyar]

i think i fear that. i could save the money to have a tummy tuck, btu i dont think it would make me happy, then i would be on to the next surgery, then the next....i dont want to end up looking like michael jackson

[MsVickie]

Sorry CT I did not do the homework. I didnt mean to make you feel at home. LOL I am sorry however. I dont know wether you know this or not...... I taught college for a year and a half while working full time. They didnt do homework well they just got a zero and prayed on the test they were getting. I deserve that zero.

I will do this however and not get a grade later. I have no excuse but at somepoint I will tell you what I have been reseaching instead.

[luvRdogs]

..you did NOT cheat, you did your research!

Yup, this has been an interesting thread.

Kenyar, I can see how this does become your life. It was mine the two weeks I was home after surgery. Now I struggle just to log in quick once a day before bed..that dang job of mine keeps interferring with my personal life.

NORMAL..there are some snormal thing I really desire. To be in a "normal" weight range, "normal" lab results and fit into "normal" clothes. My personality will never be close to normal and I'm okay with that. I agree with Doc that we thought we would be less obvious in a crowd, if that means normal. Those are the same things I want to be average in. Yes, those are more statistical words and people are unpredictable.

Guess I'll go to bed and hope for a "normal" day tomorrow. Which is a good thing, generally. It means there is no crisis.

Night, my friends.

[luvRdogs]

CT...

Positive definitions for normal:
Wholesome, sound-minded, reasonable, well adjusted, natural, orderly, regular.

Maybe I DO want to be "normal" after all !

[DocSanae]

Originally Posted by not quite Barbie

But I'm still just not happy with how I look and maybe never will be. It's not like it's a big deal to me, but just not what I expected to feel.

No offense, but in all honesty, I don't think there are that many people who are really completely happy about how they look. Many of my friends complain about wrinkles and sagging skin, which looks quite fine to others. Aging is definitely a minus factor, and you either decide to ignore it and be happy as you are, or fight it and never be satisfied.

I may be wrong, but part of why for you it's not quite what you expected, may be that the balance of skin/shape/distibution (for the lack of a better words) is what bothers you--if you aged and sagged (which is where I am ) naturally, even if you don't like it, it would be somewhat balanced, but with great weight loss, one has several options, and to surgically achieve an acceptable balance and distribution isn't easy.

Incidentally, I don't think it's false advertisement, I think, whatever you choose, it's a medal of honor and merit of your determination and hard work and an honest and integral part of yourself, so please be proud of everything.

The fear of going too far with PS is there for anyone, not just WLS post ops. If you get fixiated on looking young, etc, it's going to become an addiction. Heck it might be worse for those skinny young chicks. Any of you remember how Donald Trump's ex looked after multiple face lifts? I don't like the bags under my eyes, but I don't go thatta way, either, so I am going to have to live with my bags along with a million other things

[not quite Barbie]

Originally Posted by DocSanae

Incidentally, I don't think it's false advertisement, I think, whatever you choose, it's a medal of honor and merit of your determination and hard work and an honest and integral part of yourself, so please be proud of everything.

Thanks Doc, I guess I needed to be reminded of how far I've come and to look on the positive side instead of the negative.

[melsreturn]

I think that "maintenance" is actually a process. Remember when you first made it to your goal weight, and were told to put the skids on the weight loss? First thing we had to do was up the calories, get in some good fats, perhaps add some salad dressings once in awhile... something to stop the loss. It was scary for me... I was officially "in maintenance", just had stepped one foot over the threshhold... shaking and shivering out of fear that to add too much too soon would mean weight gain. And, honestly, it did. My weight went up about 5 lbs. It took a few weeks/months to adjust and settle in to a new routine because I was comfortable in the losing mode.

Then later, I found that things changed again... I had to back off the calories, and begin to count everything... it was where the rubber met the road... and I struggled with that for awhile... always making sure that I got my protein in, had every meal and did not skip (thats horrible for us), and yet, calories at a low...

I think I reached another place where I'm learning how to have a healthy relationship and respect for food... that I can add regular foods back in to my way of eating... yet ever mindful that I must control it, and not let it control me... (as in, overeating, giving in to cravings, etc). I also learned very early in the process that deprivation leads to intense desires/cravings and for me, I couldn't rest until I got my hands finally on what it was I wanted... and then went overboard, which led to guilt! But, no, I do not deprive myself. I will have a small portion of that item, maybe even a bite or two which satisfies the want/desire... so its not an "off limits" sort of thing.

I believe "normal" for each individual will be different... while I may be able to add certain foods and use it properly, someone else may have to steer clear of it because of not being able to control themselves, or vice versa... I'm 3 yrs out and find that its just ever evolving... I don't think "maintenance" is the end of the road. Our journeys just got started... now, its time to take a new road of living life, to the full....

And, as far as weight is concerned, I think normal compared to regular non wls women means watching and eating properly, yet having a small treat from time to time (I read that thin woman allow themselves a small piece of candy each day..?) , and it also means that we MUST be ever mindful of the number on the scale, plus our measurements to make sure we are staying on track... that will be something that I feel needs to be monitored forever... (though again, maybe my view is just for this point in time, and it will change on the progression of my journey)... AND, I struggle with that time of month weight gain/loss of 5 lbs... I think that's normal. Better to struggle with 5 lbs and be able to control or at least forecast it, then to struggle with 135 extra lbs....

Just a few thoughts.