[robinb3463]

I look at the picture of me at 270 and then at 131 a year later and I see that I am thin...but I dont feel thin. The hanging skin and flab on my belly is easy to hide under nice clothes...but its there all the time. I hate being naked because I see fat Robin. I took risks having this surgery due to some comorbidities and I am not sure I want to risk the tummy tuck for vanity sake. How can I live with the apron and still think of myself as thin. I'm also afraid that if I keep thinking this way I could become food obsessed in another direction. afraid to eat to much...trying to lose weight because I look fat...yanno? The way anorexic people think. I don't want to be 130 lbs and look into a mirror and see fat robin when she isnt really there. Does any of this make sense? Can anyone relate? It is not a big issue for me but I could see it becoming one.

[RaCina]

Yes I know how you feel, its funny I think the same way, I am boney everywhere and all I can think of is the apron and how to get that dwindling faster than it is, I am thin everywhere else but the lower half of my abdomen, thats seems to be the focus of my workouts anymore, I am very happy with where I am, but I am so darn impatient with that part of my body, I keep telling myself just wait til the year is up
and see what it looks like, I have talked to a plastic surgeon and he says my insurance company won't pay for any plastics no matter what, so I will keep alot of my focus on that area with my workouts and see what happens, I do see that alot of my "batwings" have tightened up already, its not hanging as far as it did even 2 months ago, it has given me some hope at least. At 48 I don't think I will have much elasticity but I will do what I can to remedy as much as I can.

[kbfrmaz]

The mind part is very hard- I still feel fat, and I am overweight so I tell myself I will feel that way. But, you ARE thin by every measure BMI included and your mind still hasn't caught up. It may help to talk to someone about it just to resolve some of those feelings- I am not sure they ever go away.....but I hope that the brain finally catches up to the body!

[robinb3463]

You look awesome!

[DocSanae]

Robin, yes it makes sense. How long did you carry excess weight? It isn't going to be easy to catch your brain up with your present body, as it isn't used to your new size, since it lived with your old size for years and years and years. "Old habits die hard." For the matter, I wonder if you will really see yourself as thin even if you do have plastics and have the excess skin removed. There's an old thread about when I asked CraigT, the host and founder of this site, how long it took him until it "clicked". It took him a bit over 5 years.

So, don't worry about obsessing with "Will I go back? Will I go overboard?" I think you (and everyone else) need to start seeing your life beyond your weight loss. Is there anything you wanted to do once you lost your weight? What are your dreams, what do you want to be, what do you want to do? Have you been defining your life up to now by what others say about you--who you are, what your abilities are. Have you ever assessed yourself for yourself who you are, what you can do and what you want to do?

For such a long time, your focus has been doing something about your weight because you want a life beyond. Now that that life beyond is a reality, you need to focus on how you build your life. That will eventually get you out of the "don't feel thin" mode. Just my $0.02 here, but hope this helps.

[robinb3463]

Thank you Doc.....I am glad you are here lurking about and giving us your 2cents...I value it. You are so right. I have been fat my entire life. It began around second grade. My weight was a hardship throughout school. I had a couple friends but for the most part I was picked on, bullied and called names. Home was not a refuge from that unfortunately. My mom, who had to work hard to stay thin, thought belittling me would motivate me. It didnt. It made me eat my candy bars in the closet. She said things like "walk down those stairs thunder thighs" or she would call me "el chubs" and once at Sears while school shopping she said loud enough for all to hear "If you dont lose weight I am going to have to take you to Tilly the Tentmaker to buy your clothes." So besides dealing with school torment...I had those comments from my mom. I remember hearing my dad tell her to stop saying those things to me. Now that I have lost the weight my mom tells anyone who will listen that I have lost too much. Now I am thin and I do do things that I always wanted to...hiking and white water rafting. I know I look good and I for sure feel amazing. Its just when I look in the mirror I dont see it. I do in pictures but not in the mirror and god when I am naked and i see the apron, yikes. As long as I have the apron I will always feel fat and that is my fear. Yes, if I do have plastics (and I dont think I will) I will probably still see "fat Robin".
Thanks for being here with a friendly ear
Robin

[qt82699]

i feel the same way!! it is so many head games!! btw..you look fabulous!!

[nygal]

From my highest weight to now (meaning before my surgery date) i have lost over 170lbs.

i have skin issues too. granted it is not as bad as i worried about, BUT i look at it this way... i much rather have skin issues then all the health issues i could have. and i have freedom from food. i am no longer a slave. that is priceless.

i can MOVE again like never before. I look AMAZING in my clothes. and i have found "sexy" lingerie to work and show off the best parts of my SKIN.

it is a mental game. but i gladly play it. i am alive like i have never been in years. i am young again! lol.

my skin is nothing more then my war wounds... and in time, some of that skin will pull more in anyway. i will never be perfect... so-- i excersise and do the best i can. that is all i can do.

i love me. let you love you too.

[minnesotashopper2]

You are looking wonderful. Think of all the achievements you have made in one yr. It will take awhile to see the new you. Depending on how long you were obese before. That tummy area, is a tough area for many, and I choice not to have a tummy tuck afterwards. Guess, I figured,then my legs, hips would still be larger, so unless I had it all tucked, lol was not gonna do it. There are so many figure flattering clothes that cover up any tummy issues for most. Even when I was considered or was on the anorexia side ( according to my surgeon), it was a big mind game, didn't want to eat with fear I would gain again.
Well after over 9 yrs have pasted since my WLS, and I can say, I would love to be another 20 lbs lighter, then now, I am so much happier and love seeing that extra skin, knowing it was full, not flabby 9 years ago. Same with my bat wings on my upper arms. I feel better knowing its empty skin hanging, then full and fat.

[judijo]

I am amazed and still don't believe it when I see a "L" on the tag of shirts that used to say "3X" or "4X". It is surreal...like the world is playing a silly game by pretending I am smaller than I really am.