[bybass_daughter16]

My mother recently had gastric bypass surgery about a year ago. Her complete mood has changed. Her anger and depression level is extremely high and she cries every night. My best friends cousin is also undergoing the same problems from this surgery.
Has anyone else had this problem? Or just mood swings?

[DocSanae]

Welcome to the board, thank you for joining us

I have moved your post from where it was originally posted because the particular thread is a very old one, from 4 years ago.

Mood swings post op are not rare. Some people have underlying depression that is not apparent until they start losing weight, because food was their way of escape and self medication. Many people also have a hard time aligning their self image with how their weight loss is going, and the discrepancy in their images cause confusion.
In any case, it's best to get professional help if the situation is bad enough that it affects the people around your mother, not just herself, which it seems to be from your post.

[bybass_daughter16]

Yes actually my best friend has noticed and she has made violent remarks more than once.

[DocSanae]

Making violent remarks won't help the situation any.
Recognition for need of help has to come from the person who needs it.

You mother may know she needs help, but she may not know how to go about it. However, since you are the daughter, she most likely won't listen to you, and rather, brush you off. It's just a parent/child automatic reaction, so don't take it against her. If there is someone who is your mother's peer, whom you can talk to honestly as well, you might talk to that person, and have him/her help. However, it has to be someone who is supportive of her surgery to begin with, or else it will make the situation worse, and the only thing you will do, is end up pushing your mother into a corner.

You might also talk to your family dr (provided the dr is supportive of your mother's surgery) so he/she can make the move to help your mother.

Your mother will probably benfit from counseling, and it's also best to get some family counseling along with it, so the rest of the family understands what she is going through, and can support her as a family unit.

Keep in mind, criticism, or, any kind of words that your mother may take as criticism even though the person who said it didn't mean so, will only push her further into the corner she's in right now. She is in need of assurance that she can come through this, and will be fine in the end. Whatever you say, it needs to be from love and positive support.

[dixieladybug]

I know mood swings are very common in people who have had weight loss surgery. I am taking antidepressants and I did not know just how much i needed them until I tried to come off them.. my family was about to force them down me. lol Not a good idea to stop them... It is not a shame to need a little help. I hope she can see someone that can help her. We all need that sometime. Keep us posted ....

[bybass_daughter16]

She has started seeing a counselor but believes I, myself, am the reason for her depression and anger. I will admit, haven't been of help. I am a teenager though, it's not a great excuse but teenagers are lazy and well, teenagers but her anger and depression has increaes since she had the surgery.

[DocSanae]

The reason I suggest family therapy is because you are a teenager. You yourself haven't yet developed the coping mechanisms you need to cope with this, and be able to evaluate your releationship with your mother and sill be who you are while relating to your mother and adjusting the relationship to each other.

Being a family takes a lot of work, you aren't family just because you are born into it.
This is a very good chance for you to grow up into a responsible and happy--yes, happy-- adult. Instead of *blaming* each other, turn this into a learning experience for both of you. If you change, your mother will change, too, and if you can change for the better, your mother will change for the better, too.

Good luck.