[ChuppyGirl]

It really brings me into tears just thinking of the sad life that I kept hording it so bad and have strongly resisted to let it go. My struggle started when I was a little girl. Being the first girl for my parents I got spoiled to the limit.
I was raised to become the top at everything, top of my peers, top of my class, top of my siblings too.

Mom didn't prevent me from anything she actually enjoyed it, and without realizing all of a sudden she started to notice that her chuppy little one can't control her food disorder. After enjoying being the only cuddled kid for over 4 years I had a sis and 2 years later a bro and 2 yeas later another sis and then a bro and another bro yeah family is a big one! but that wasn't the problem. My problem was that all the attention gradually started to fade away and my only dearest and closest friend was EATING and FOOD.

I kinda enjoyed it at the beginning and never felt that I'm fat until I got into my 13 years old . The girl who used to be at the top of her class started to shatter down and get closed to her self. I started to hate school because of what I used to hear from my class mates like here comes the cow or look at her fat butt ..or look at her big thighs and.. The ugliest week days in my entire life were when I have sport class. I begged mom to write letters for my teacher or the school board and to everyday make up with a different excuse. One day I'm sick, the other day I hurt my ankle, a third day I have my period. I envied the other girls for how they enjoyed basket ball or gymnastics and everyday I get more and more closed to myself than the other...

On year 1989 I finished high school (girl's school) and when I get enrolled at the university, it's a new media for me. Oh Gosh there were boys in my class and the more splinter I became. I focused all my vigor energy towards studying. I was a freak!! I felt like someone who's disabled and had nothing to brag with except my intellectual abilities. I graduated from Kuwait Universities with very minimum number of friends first because I wasn't social or attractive second because I used to break the class curve and get A+. I used to solve the all the exam questions with the bonus. My scores were always 120/100!! I remember once I had to drop the semester when my grandma passed out, 2 lazy students where checking their grades on the board and were like eewwwwffffff finally that bitch is out of the class. Great we'll get some chance heheheh. To be quiet honest I was so much flattered That was the coolest thing I've ever heard about me :~)

I had my job after 1 year of my graduation. And again I repeated the same style of life eating, working, sleeping, and no social life. I work like hell I can say I'm a workaholic. I hated weekends so much I remember I frequently go to the office even during weekends just to get away from everyone and get myself busy. I had lousy relationships with some married jerks or loosers and all end up dumping me until I met "Mr. Right" my beloved hubby who loved me for my good soul. Who believed that "I'm the one". I admit I gave him tough times coz I kept pushing him away and blame him for all the pain that I've had from the other jerks. He was and still my dearest therapist, he cured all my wands with his warm and gentle love.

With all of that I still suffer from being over weight especially when I'm out in a dinner I hate to death the restaurant armed chairs!! I can't squeeze my big hips. They sore so bad that I can’t enjoy my morsel!! I feel so much embarrassed in flight because I can't fit in an economy class chair, can't buckle my seatbelt without an extension. I have either to buy another chair or sometimes buy a business class seat. I remember I had in many occasions broke chairs at work or in a meeting!! I can't sit on bar-chair types the tall ones. .it's awful I don't know where to go :~(

Last week I felt like that's it either I have to do something or end my life! I went to this surgeon he's a well known in country. First time I met him was when I was on my second pregnancy. On my 6th month I had horrible pains from the stones in my gallbladder. He said at that time listen when you give birth to your baby come back to me and think of doing a gastric bypass that's my only solution. By the way I had my gastric banded on year 2000. It worked for 2 years lost (99 pounds but gained them again coz I'm a sugar addict)

My baby is now almost 4 months and this time I want to face my problem seriously and want to lose this horrible extra weight I've been trapping myself in it for YEARS!!

I always dream that one day I will get out of this ugly caterpillar and fly like a beautiful colorful butterfly...
I think I'm ready to make this dream come true.. Thanks for sharing your cheerful and successful experiences they were real inspiration to me :~)

ChuppyGirl who will soon transform to a FoxyGirl

[DocSanae]

Chuppy, way to go!!
This is a very positive choice for you, your chance to control your life, not let what others say about you control your life.

Why don't you make a list now, of what you wish to have a result of your surgery? Then later, when you start losing your weight, what has changed and is good for you? (Or, maybe you can remember what felt good when you had lost your weight right after gastric banding).
Keep the list somewhere, where you can see it often. It will be a good reminder for you when you hit hard times (believe me, you will, you know, every one has) why you did this, and motivate you to stick to your new life.

Chuppy, you are a beautiful butterfly, still sleeping in your cocoon.
May you be able to break that cocoon soon!!

(((((((HUGS)))))))))

[freebird]

chuppy, i'm glad that you shared your story with us, and glad you were in chat earlier. sorry i didn't stay longer i had a bad phone call, but i hope to see you there again. You have taken the first step in changing your life with deciding to go for this surgery. (I'm sorry lap banding didn't stay), you will find many supportive and caring people in here, so welcome to the family. your story is so touching and admitting you have a problem is always the first step of solving it. You will break that cocoon and fly free as a butterfly and i for one hope to see your new life emerge as you progress to and after surgery.
stick around it's great here

[fr1endly2]

welcome to the boards chuppygirl i had the honour of chatting
with you today and it was wonderful!
WERE here for any quesitons and information you need as you begin
this journey of your life!
LOOK forward to getting to know you even more

[ChuppyGirl]

DocSanae, FreeBirs, Fr1endly2,
you all so sweethearted. Thank you very much for your support.
This time I'm going for it no matter what!! I lived my entire life so sad, that's it! This is the time to start a new happy life!
This time I will do it for my husband and childeren's sake. I want to run and jump and go crazy life a happy funny mom and vivid wife.
Again thank you very much chatting and browsing this useful website has been very supportive and an inflection point of happy years coming after.

(((HUGS & KISSES)))

[DocSanae]

ChuppyGirl,

Have you been able to discuss about dietitian and support with your surgeon?
I am wondering, if your surgeon has no support group, or supporting co-workers, why don't you talk with him about starting one?
I am sure you realize the importance of support groups and professional supporters as well, having browsed through this site.
You are going to need at least dietitians, psychiatrists/psychologists and exercise trainers as professional supporters, as well as your surgeon, and you are going to need your peers, people who are taking the same journey as you, for everyone to succeed in their mission for health and happiness.
You have great talent, and you have already had your experience with lap band, and you understand very well what you need to succeed. If you put your heart into it, I am sure you will be a great organizer and a great leader in starting a support system that will help all others who have had the surgery, but is doomed to failure from lack of support, and in helping others, you will be able to help yourself as well.

I hope you'll give this a thought.
((((((((HUGS))))))))))

[Heidi]

You really won't believe how you'll feel, it really as if you change from a caterpillar to a butterfly! My youngest baby was 4 months old too when I decided enough was enough, and how I am with them now is so different. At the playground I can go down the slide with them and swing and jump and climb!! I love to go swimming with the kids now and have no worry about them being teased at school for having a fat mother - something that always worried me before. Best wishes in your journey ChuppyGirl I hope everything goes well for you.

Heidi

[ChuppyGirl]

Thank you Heidi. I saw you before and after pictures. Trust me you were one of the inspirations.
You looked a sad mom (in the picture you were holding your baby), but with your after pictures you bloom and glow like a pretty super model.
Your hair and skin looks wonderful.
Thanks for eveyone who supported me. this means a lot to me.
My surgeon scheduled the op for this Tuesday. I hope that I'll be ready for this life starting over challenge

[christyblue]

chuppy congrats on your will to turn this around!!! you can do this!! we are right here beside you and have strong shoulders to help you bear it.call on us anytime you need an ear.
good luck
huggs
christy

[ChuppyGirl]

OMG,

I wrote this maybe a year ago, look who I was and how I felt last year and look at me now!!!!!

I'm a new person full of health and happiness! I feel so sorry for the old me!!! People last night in my cousins wedding have asked me: why haven't you done this many years ago?? I answered I dunno I guess I just remembered recently that's its the time to live healthy, and happy!!

People were so thrilled everyone comes from far distances to check it's truly me!! they come and introduce their kids and relatives to me like I'm an important person and wanted me to know everyone I felt very flattered.

One of my moms best friend actually pointed at one beautiful but over weight girl and said to me Hanadi you were like her! she brought the tears to my eyes for my how I was, and sorry for the gril too. Gosh obesity is a serious disease and should be attacked.

I'm very happy about how I am now. And want to be even more happy and want to lose the rest of my extra weight!

Love
Hanadi