[pugmama]

I know I don't post often anymore and I do owe you guys some pictures... but I wanted to share my year in reflection:

Saturday was my 1 yr anniversary from surgery - I weighed in at 133 pounds that day and lost a total of 194 pounds in 1 year (exceeded my goal).

Thursday was my annual check up with my surgeon and although she is pleased with my progress , she will not approve any plastic surgery at this point and doesn't want me to lose any more weight - I am required to maintain between 130 - 135 for 6 months. I want to have children some day (or at least thinking about it) and she doesn't want me to get surgery and then stretch out again, we'll see what six months brings (the next time I'm required to go to the doctor).

I'm both happy and sad. This surgery does not come without a price (as we all know). I've lost a lot of weight, but also a lot of my identity. I was always the fat, funny one... and I'm learning how to adjust to the new view people have of me. I'm also learning how to accept this new body image I have. When I was a big girl, I never thought I was a big as I was, and now that I'm thinner, I see myself as huge even at a size 4/6 (yay... this weekend I bought a skirt, size 4! , but still picking out size 14).

Although I'm off any meds for medical reasons and most of those physical issues have been resolved by the weight loss (let's just say I'm a lot healthier), I'm still suffering from depression , and looks like this is be a life long battle of mine (I was hoping that the surgery would have helped this in some small way). Just like anyone else I have good days and bad days. I also have low iron which makes me very cold all of the time, but this is being adjusted by supplements.

Another important thing which this surgery surfaced in my life, is that Kelly (my husband) and I have split up . It's sad really, but we are trying to maintain a friendship and *trying* to do this as amicable as possible. Please do not feel sorry for us. We had marriage issues way before the surgery and although we tried to stick it out (with and without a therapist), I guess it just wasn't meant to be.

So in the past year, I've lost 194 pounds, Symber (my dog and love of my life), my Husband, my sister (she's not talking to me), a few friends that couldn't deal with the "new" me... but who's to say all of this was due to surgery?!

I feel wonderful and everything happens for a reason right?

In reflection of this year... the friends that have supported me are the best and such an important part in my life, I don't think I could have been strong without them (and this wieght loss board) . My relationship with my mom is much better (we have our moments). The "evil" sister has been a blessing in her own way. I've found my job to be more rewarding and accelerating in the direction I so desire. I got a bunny

My point... life just happens. A quote I've kept close to my heart since I decided to have this surgery is "Life is about the journey, not the destination". So true... so true.

Thanks girls for your continued support! You are the best cheerleading section ever!

[Kenyar]

WOW congratulations on the loss. Sorry about the other losses. I just think that once you settle into the new you everything will work out. Like you said things happen for a reason. and how cool of you to see things for what they are. this journey wasnt all about weightloss for many of us. It uncovered emotions we had burried for a lifetime. and now its time to let them out, accept them for what they are, and make the best life possible for ourselves. you are truly an inspiration. good job!!

oh! PS: where are the befores and afters??

[Chilly]

You have done a GREAT job so far! I'm sorry you've been thru the things you have been thru. It's funny that you mentioned how you thought this surgery would make things "all better". I think that's the general thoughts that we all have. You know, if I wasn't so fat, I wouldn't be depressed....things like that. But the harsh reality of this journey is....it does NOT take your depression away. In some aspects it does, but we all have hidden the true root of our depression. Our tool is to help us with our "outter" part, but it's still up to us to change the "inner" parts. You are a true inspiration! Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

[kimtindall]

My heart goes out to you. You are an absolutely beautiful person, those that didnt support you, didnt deserve you. There is a reason that we go through friends in life, it is to know the true ones when you find them. Hold on to them for life!

[Jill]

Wow, what an amazing story you have to tell! There is another old saying to remember ... "What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger." You are a stronger person because of everything you have gone through and you are finding your path on this journey we call life. Your light is shining very brightly now and it is good for you to hold that light up and let it shine for others to see and then to thank your Father in heaven for your remarkable, amazing strength, courage and tenacity. You are truly an inspiration!

[DocSanae]

Stacie, it's so wonderful to hear from you.
Congratulations on your surgiversary, and on your wonderful weight loss.
Thank you for sharing this past year with us. Yours is a very insightful post, and an inspiration for others.
As you say, losing your weight isn't always roses, nor is life always a bowl of cherries.
However difficult it may be, as you say, life is about the journey, the ups and downs, the trials and tribulations. Our altitude is quite often determined by our attitude.
One day, when you look back and see how far you've come, you'll also come to see that whatever happened on the way, whether it seemed to be good or bad, whether it made you happy or sad, you will see that you would not have arrived at where you are, without any single one of these moments.
We are--all of us, whether big or little, thin or thick, whether we had to face weight problems or not-- every single one of us, every single person alive on this Earth, are a work in progress. We always will be. Sooner or later, we have to face up with this, and the sooner we decide to take everything on, and be responsible for what we must be responsible for, the richer our lives will be.

(((((((HUGS)))))) May your journey always go well.

[rozzy345]

Congrats on your success! Sometimes a loss is really not a loss in the long run. Be happy and enjoy the new you! You deserve it! Thanks for the reflections!

Roz

[BOOTS]

Wow What A Story.. Congrats On Your Weight Loss What An Amazing Accomplishment! You Have Such Strength And Help People Who Are Having Bad Days Like Me To Keep Going. Everything Happens For A Reason And There Are More Good Things To Come For You.

Good Luck

[Ladyhawk]

Congrats on all you have accomplished. I am sorry to hear about your other losses. Thanks for sharing with us and giving us your insight on this journey.

[Jessica]

Congratulations! You are truly an inspiration to all of us! I am only 4 months out, but I can certainly relate to your post about losing certain people in your life after surgery. Thank you for sharing with us.