[Rachael]

I'm really writing this as a way to get my thoughts out. No one really needs to read it, as I'm sure it will be long and rambling. I need to write it, but you don't need to read it.

Part of the basic criteria my insurance requires is that one have evidence of previously failed attempts at losing weight. I'm not sure what that means. I mean,

I'm 51 and have been dieting off and on since I was 13. I now weight 250 pounds. To be honest, every diet has worked.

When I was a probably 3-5 times over the years I have done Weight Watchers and always lost weight.

I did a diet center many years ago where you ate a ketosis diet, took the active ingredient in many of the OTC weight loss drugs, got weighed/keto-sticked daily, and B-vitamin injections weekly. I lost weight.

I did NeutraSystems twice, lost weight both times.

I did a 1-year hypnosis weight loss program and did great. I lost 150 pounds during that year. But I'm back up to what I was when I started.

I gained weight on Atkins.

I pretended to be crazy so I could get Topomax. It didn't work. I went to another psychiatrist and tried it again with Effexor. It still didn't work. So now he gives me dextroamphetamine for ADD. My insurance won't cover anything for weight loss.

I just don't understand. I went to a psychologist who specializes in weight loss and eating disorders, but she couldn't say that was why she was seeing me because my insurance wouldn't cover it. She could, however, say she was seeing me because of depression due to weight loss. She wanted me to work with a nutritionist, but my insurance would only cover that if I was diabetic and I wasn't.

So have I failed previous attempts at losing weight? I don't know. Okay. I never lost weight with any of the medications, and my boyfriend and I joined a gym about a year ago, and I work out 3-5 days a week (had 20 sessions with a personal trainer) and have actually gained weight. But I always lost weight with weight-loss programs and dieting. Losing weight isn't really the problem for me so much as keeping it off is.

So is the failure not losing weight or is the failure in being able to keep it off? What do they mean? What angle am I supposed to come from?

And what kind of a stupid requirement is that anyway? Who weighs 250 pounds and has succeeded? If they had, would they weigh 250 pounds and be looking toward something that is a last resort?

Now that is the other thing I'm having trouble coming to terms with right now. I have always thought of gastric bypass as a last resort. WELL WAKE UP GIRL - if this is not a last resort, what is? I mean, I'm 51 years old. Okay, so maybe I'm borderline on everything now - though I'm going for an initial sleep evaluation to be set up for a sleep apnea study and I'm sure that won't be borderline. But I don't want to wait until I'm too old or too sick. It seems to me that the sooner I do this, the better - I mean, surgery is hard enough, but do I really want to wait until I am diabetic and hypertensive, all the things that would make surgery more dangerous? Isn't it enough that I am borderline and could cross that border at any moment? What is the last resort? Once I have a heart attack or stroke and then can't do it because of that?

I mean, as drastic as surgery sounds, it beats having a heart attack or stroke. My boyfriend couldn't quit smoking until he had a heart attack and coded in the ER. He almost died. He was really sick for about 9 months. He is fine now and hasn't touched a cigarette, but THAT was drastic.

And to tell you the truth, I don't know that even that would stop me.

I'm having a real hard time coming to grips with the fact that this IS my last resort. Like I said in a post earlier, it terrifies me to think I would voluntarily alter the function of my God-given body (an odd thing for someone who doesn't believe in God to say, but I'm not sure how else to have it make sense) to loose weight - but if I don't, that God-given body WILL. And I'd rather eat differently for the rest of my life than to take insulin or hypertensive medications or lipid-lowering medications the rest of my life.

And then why if I can go through my insurance's case-managed supervised 6-months of dieting to lose my 5% before I am even considered for surgery and do that, should I need the surgery at all if I can do it on my own.

Well, now we are back at the start. Because I need to keep it off. I need to lose the weight. And I need to keep it off. I am 51. I will be going through menopause soon (I HOPE!), and I am at an age where everyone else in my family has died of heart disease.

I can't chanbe my family history, but I can lose the weight. But I need to keep it off.

No matter how difficult it is for me to come to grips with, this IS my last resort.

[poopoo]

Hi rachael '
I don't know about where your from but here if you have a family back ground that will qualify you for the wls and everything that you've said regarding your attempts also qualifys as will so look into it don't give up we are all here becausr we fail at losing and keeping it off with success if it was that easy we wouldn't be here

[Kenyar]

ok. i think if your insurance requires past failed weight loss attempts that means dr supervised and documented. if you dont have that, my suggestion is to start now. they probably will not approve you without it if its their requirement. even if you are undecided with whether or not you want to move forward with the surgery, the supervised diet might be a good jump start to your own diet and exercise plan and if you feel you can stick to it and be successful then by all means that is your choice.

it sounds to me like you still question whether or not this is the right thing to do. and i have to be COMPLETELY honest with you. i dont think you should press forward with WLS or any part of the process until you are 100% sure without a doubt that this is what you want and need to live. you have to be so sure that this is right for you before you dive into it. this is HARD emotionally, physically, in every way you can think of and until you are ready; dont do it. thats just my opinion. i've been struggling with the emmotional side affects of this for sometime and i feel as though if i were prepared a bit better it wouldnt be such a struggle.

you will be in my thoughts and prayers.

[BOOTS]

MOST INSURANCE COMPANIES WILL ACCEPT PROOF FROM WEIGHT WATCHERS AND OTHER DIET CENTERS AS A FORM OF FAILED DIETS ALSO EVEN IF YOU GO TO THE GYM GET THAT PROOF AS WELL ASK THEM TO PRINT OUT FROM THEIR COMPUTER IF(if you have to check in thru the computer, i do at my gym) HOW OFTEN YOU GO AND HOW LONG YOU HAVE BEEN A MEMEBER. DEF GET ALL OF THIS FOR THE INSURANCE COMPANY. I SHOWED MY INS COMPANY WEIGHT WATCHERS AND CURVES AND A DOCTORS NOTE STATING HOW LONG I HAVE BEEN OVERWEIGHT AND HOW LONG I HAVE FAILED AT ATTEMPTS. MY DOC WAS SO GOOD ABOUT WRITING MY LETTER EVEN THOUGH I REALLY DIDNT HAVE SUPERVISED DIETS UNDER HIS EXACT CARE. BUT HE WAS MORE THAN HAPPY TO WRITE A REALLY GOOD LETTER!!!

GOOD LUCK IN WHAT EVER YOUR DECESION IS HUN. HEY AND DONT FEEL BAD BECAUSE IT TOOK ME ALMOST A YEAR TO MAKE THIS DECESION BUT ONCE I DID AND WENT FORWARD WITH THE SURGERY THERE WAS NO STOPPING ME

[BOOTS]

It Took A Lot Of Thinking Also Because I Had To Not Only Think About My Dh Just Incase Somthing Was To Happen To Me But Also My Daughter. But I Looked At It This Way, The Road I Was Going Somthing Was Going To Happen To Me Eventually So I Thought Wls Was My Best Bet And Dam Am I Sooooooooooooooooooooooo Happy I Did This

[Rachael]

I have all kinds of documentation. That isn't a problem. I just don't know what failed attempt means. With supervised weight loss programs, I DID successfully lose weight. I did not, however, successfully keep the weight off for any length of time.

Like I said, my insurance says: That one have evidence of previously failed attempts at losing weight.

Does that mean I don't qualify because I DID lose weight? Again, is the failure if one does not lose weight, or is the failure if one does not keep it off. I don't know too many people who got to be 250 pounds who have not successfully lost weight, supervised or unsupervised, at one time or another who "successfully lost weight" or they would not weigh 250 pounds. That statement just doesn't quite make sense to me.

I mean, like I said, when I lost weight with the hypnosis program (which was a 1-year supervised program), I lost 150 pounds. However, I gained them all back. Was this successful?

And you are not quite understanding what I'm saying as far as being ready. I am ready, it is just kind of a shock to me that this is what it has come to. I have always thought of gastric bypass as a last resort. And well, like I said, it is where I am right now, whether I like it or not.

Kind of like I have a difficult time coming to terms with the fact that I weigh 250 pounds. Inside I weigh 130, but my outside doesn't match my inside, like it or not.

Kind of like there is NO WAY on earth that I can believe I am 51. I don't feel any different than I did when I was 21 (okay, a bit of an exaggeration, maybe 31). But I am. And that is just how it is. I don't have to like it, but that it is true.

I wanted this 9 years ago - desperately. But at the time, I didn't have insurance to cover it, so no matter how badly I thought I wanted it, I didn't have to think about what it entailed.

I'm sure that people on their wedding day desperatly wan't to get married, but still stop and think about what it means. Or they should.

If I went into this without thinking about the fact that this will permantently alter my physiologic functioning in the process of achieving a goal, THEN I would think I wasn't ready. If I were to just jump into this without considering every aspect of it that I could think of, then I would agree - I would not be prepared.

I don't think anyone can ever be fully prepared for any situation. One may think they are, but until they are actually there, they don't really know. So the best thing is to know as much as you can.

I do know I want this and I'm ready. I just can't believe it is finally happening. I have wanted this now for 9 years. But my insurance never covered it before and no matter how badly I wanted it, no matter how much I weighed, no matter what comorbidities I had, no matter what my doctor said, my insurance would NOT cover it and I couldn't do it without insurance coverage.

I know at that time, I said that I'd find a way to pay for it, no matter what - but I couldn't. I just couldn't.

But I suppose, using your logic, you could say if I really wanted it bad enough then, I'd have found a way and done it then.

[BOOTS]

Well This Is How I Always Looked At It. In The Past Years I Also Have Been Able To Lose Weight With Success But Never Kept It Off. At The Time I Looked At Myself As A Success When I Took It Off But In The Long Run It Was A Failure To Me. I Guess This Is What They Call Yoyo Dieting And That Is Not Healthy. Im Really Not Sure About What The Ins Company Looks For And All Ins Companies Can Vary So Maybe You Should Call Them And Ask Them To Clarify This For You.

[Trulykath]

this was not a vanity decision for me...it was pure health...I didn't see it as a last resort...I saw it as a tool that would help me get where I need to be...the rest of it at that point is up to me....there are people who have failed at this as well....it's getting your mind set, using the tool to get there, then having the mindset that you HAVE to stay there....or the problems will continue. It's a life change....and the surgery is just the tool to help you get there....it won't necessarily keep you there...

[serratneednewlife]

in my believe the insurance company what want to see is that you was unable to loose a big amount of weight with or without help if they see you could loose 100 pounds on pills they will thi k what you need is a therapy to learn how control your anxiety or continue on pills. thats what i believe

[Rachael]

First, when I said "Kind of like I have a difficult time coming to terms with the fact that I weigh 250 pounds. Inside I weigh 130, but my outside doesn't match my inside, like it or not." What I mean is that in my head I feel like I weigh that, while physically, I feel every ounce of that 250 pounds and I can't live with that kind of discrepancy - feeling so bad because I can't walk from my apartment to my car without being winded, coughing with GERD all the time, knees hurting from arthritis, unable to play with my dog or my son like I would like.

As far as being 100% certain, I just feel that is not realistic. When found out I was pregnant with my son, I had been trying to get pregnant for a year. Did I know the change having a baby would have on my life? I thought I did. I had heard from other people how it changed their lives, good and bad. While trying to get pregnant, and certainly the 9 months I was pregnant, I read everything I could about pregnancy, birth, newborns, etc. But it would be totally unrealistic to say that even though I was 100% certain I was thrilled to be pregnant, I didn't ever stop for a moment and think, "Oh my God, what AM I doing!" That doesn't mean that I wasn't sure it was what I wanted to do though.

I thought I knew what I was getting into. Heck, I was a nurse in the newborn nursery for years. I was used to handling babies. But no matter how much I read, how much I thought about it, how much I prepared, NOTHING prepared me for that day when he was in my arms and I was not going to be leaving at the end of the shift, but was responsible for him 24 hours a day 7 days a week.

He is 15 now, so believe me, I have my days when I wonder what in the world I have done. But was it worth it? We're not done yet, but I think so. Do I regret it? NO. If I knew then what I know now, would I do it again? YES - in a heartbeat.

I think it is totally unrealistic to say 100% means never wondering for a moment.

As far as someone saying that this is vanity for me, HOW DARE YOU. This is NOT a vanity decision for me either. I have arthritis, GERD, a family history on both sides of heart disease, borderline hypertension, borderline hyperlipidemia, and most likely sleep apena. I have NO family, other than my son and I want to be her for him. I want to live my life without pills or injections. I want to be able to walk and breath. I see that as pure health too. I'm really sorry if you see it as vanity. If it is vain that I want to LIVE then so be it. Then I guess I am vain.

And I agree entirely that it is a tool - but I still maintain it is a tool to be used as a last resort - obviously my insurance company does to, or they wouldn't have the requirements they have. Obviously, it is NOT the first option. One does not say, oh, I'm overweight and unhealthy, I think I'll have a gastric bypass. I still maintain it is to be used when other tools have failed.

Hypnosis was a tool too. It worked fine. But I gained the weight back. Weight Watchers is a tool. Diets are a tool.

I am REALLY sorry if you think that I was saying that this would get me there and keep me there as if it were magic. However, I have used every other tool in the shed. And from what I've read, this DOES have a higher rate of keeping weight off.

It should not be used as a first option, IMO - and apparently most major insurance companies agree with me.

I have tried the other tools first, now I am going to try this one. NOT BECAUSE I'M VAIN, BUT BECUASE I'M GETTING TOO OLD TO LIVE SUCH AN UNHEALTHY LIFE STYLE. At the age I am, people in my family start having heart attacks and die. I cannot change that aspect of my life, but I can change my lifestyle and my health.

It was my hope that this surgery would help me not only achieve it, but LIVE it.

I was SO looking forward to getting support here. Like I said, my boyfriend is SO against me having this surgery - but I don't care. This is not about what he wants. It is about me living long AND HEALTHY life.

Because I can't get support from him, I came here hoping for it.

Obviously, I was WRONG.

It has been nice.