[Rachael]

Last year, after we joined the gym, when I got my income tax refund, I bought a personal trainer program. I loved my trainer. Though she is quite young, when her husband died, she got up to about 200 pounds, exercised, dieted, and lost the weight. She had been a special education teacher prior, but she so loved working toward and reaching her weight goal and enjoyed fitness that she went to school, got a degree in nutrition and something and became a personal trainer. She is great.

I haven't seen her for a couple of months because my program finished and I can't afford to buy another just yet, but I wanted to talk to her about this for training after (and possibly before as well) surgery, but I was terrified. She is another I was sure who would expect someone to "do it on their own" or that it is too drastic.

I called her today and asked her if she had worked with people who had gastric bypass surgery - at first she thought I meant cardiac and said she has someone who just had a 6-vessel bypass. I told her it wasn't cardiac, but gastric and she said she has several clients who have had it, 4 that she is working with right now. She asked if it was okay to give them my number so they could call me and talk with me about it. I said, "YES, PLEASE DO!"

She, like everyone else so far (at least of those I thought wouldn't be) is VERY supportive. I told her I didn't think she would be for me doing it this way. She said she is for doing it any way that gets someone healthy - and like my doctor, she said that my risks with sleep apnea, hypertension and possible hyperlipidemia are real and pose just a real a risk as anything from surgery.

Again, I'm really suprised at all the supportive people around me. I was just so worried that people would have the "you should be able to do it on your own," or "surgery is just the easy way out" attitude (that last one REALLY bothers me. I think it would be SO much easier to just diet and exercise alone without surgical reconstruction of my digestive system and pureed foods and physical limitations so that I am unable to eat certain foods as well as still exercise and watch what I eat. Why would anybody think THAT is easy - even my 15 year old son realized that when I was talking to him today).

Anyway, between you guys, my pseudomom/friend, my doctor, and my trainer, it almost doesn't matter anymore that my boyfriend isn't completely on board with this. Maybe he will come around, maybe he won't but you know, I was there for him through his heart attack and a second stent placement, all of which took almost 9 months for him to recover from. Now I'm not at all saying that he then should be there for me for this, but what I mean is, what he went through (the heart attack, coding in the ER, the stent, recovery, more chest pain, another stent, and 9 months of recovery, not to mention the nights he didn't want me to leave because he was having chest pain and was scared) was THE scariest time in my life. I so much would rather put him through this with me than put him through what I went through with him.

Anyway, gotta go take my son to his activity (rehearsal):
The Northwest Choirs

That's him in the top righ corner with the red tie

Oh, here is another:
http://im1.shutterfly.com/procproser...23120000002010

He is the dark-haired one with the splint on.




A Festival of Lessons & Carols

Featuring the Northwest Boychoir and Vocalpoint! Seattle

Patterned after the Christmas Eve observance at King's College in Cambridge, England, A Festival of Lessons & Carols has become an annual holiday tradition for thousands of families in the Puget Sound region.

[clancythecamper]

I'm glad you're finding more and more support! What a talent your son obviously has! handsome too. I think it's great you have a personal trainer to work with - that's gotta be a great bonus!

[Trulykath]

I think years ago, people looked at this surgery as something for people who let themselves go...or had no control. Nowdays, with all the data on genetics etc, I think people are more compassionate to those of us who have had to struggle with our weight. On top of all the co-morbidities with obesity, the general populus is coming around!

[DocSanae]

Professionals who have actually worked with WLS patients will be supportive, as they know how the surgery works, and know what it entails to make the weight loss a success. They have seen, know the pros and cons, and that it is the opportunity to give you the chance that you don't have without it.

[TGG]

I too have found that everyone is so much more supportive than I had anticipated. My mom is concerned only because it is major surgery and she is having a hard time wrapping her head around someone no longer being capable of eating cheezies (why would anyone do that to themselves )
My surgery is in 23 days. I do not face any medical complications, in fact I am in exceptional health with the exception that I am 140 lbs overweight. I am fairly active, I have the heart rate of an athlete (or so I am told) and I have the lungs of a 20 year old. All facts I found out while seeing the menagerie of doctors that was mandatory to become qualified for the surgery. So really I should be one of "those people" who loose the weight on their own, however my history tells a diferent story. I have lost and regained 50-100lbs aprox 10 times in my life and I am only 36.
I am having this surgery to regain my life. I want to rock climb, I want to kayak, I want to run a marathon, I want to dance with my grandchildren, I want my knees to stop hurting, I want to get dressed in the morning and wear what I want to wear, not what fits, I want to go to social functions and not be the largest person in the room, I want to go to social functions and be able to sit down without worrying I will fit in the chair or if the chair will even hold me.......and the list goes on
I am so very glad that you have found the support you need during your time to prepare for surgery. I AM READY!!!! and it has been all the great knowledge that I have learned from this board and also all of the support from the people who love me. I have decided that if someone wants to judge me for my decision to have this surgery to take control of my life then they are someone who I would be better off without anyways.
Good Luck - I look forward to taking this journey with you.

[Rachael]

Oh, TGG, You are me when I was your age. I'm so glad you are doing this so you aren't me at 51.

Your message reminds me of something I really miss. The last time I lost 145-150 pounds, I was in really good shape. I had been working out 2-3 hours a day and was so fit. My boyfriend and I used to take mountain hiking vacations, and some of the hikes (according to the hiking books) were NOT easy hikes, but I did them with no problem.

Even if I lose weight, WE can't go hiking because he is afraid to hike into remote places after his heart attack - but that doesn't mean I can't

And my knees, yes - my knees. I have psoriatic arthritis and my knees are taking the brunt of it. We plan on retiring and traveling in his van, but right now, it is so hard and painful to hoist me and me into that van, much less the thought of me, me, and him all scrunched into a van together.

Life was not without problems when I weighed 145 pounds less, but some things were sure a lot easier.

And now with the realization that I have significant comorbidities involved (and after watching my boyfriend have a heart attack and code in the ER a year ago) I HAVE to do something.

When you said: "why would anyone do that to themselves," like I said somewhere else - I'm sure there will be times after surgery when I wonder what I've done - but I deal with that daily now, looking in the mirror, not recognizing the face that looks back at me and wondering what I've done.

I am so glad you are doing this. I wish I had done it when I was your age.

[TGG]

Thanks so much for your kind words. I feel very empowered by my decision to have the surgery. At first I had many fears about complications and even death, but they are all gone. I hope your boyfriend comes around regarding your surgery as his support would certainly help you out in your journey. Do you think that some of his fears may be you losing weight and looking and feeling better. My husband and I are very open with each other and he shared with me that his only concern regarding the surgery was not surgical complications, but the future 1 year down the road when I am looking good and feeling good and that their may not be a spot for him in my new life. It was a great discussion and I never even considered that he may be feeling this way, and that if he did that he would admit it. I sometimes think people we are close to are scared of our change because it will bring about change in their world also whether they welcome it or not.
Just a thought.
Do you have a surgery date?

[Rachael]

Originally Posted by TGG

I hope your boyfriend comes around regarding your surgery as his support would certainly help you out in your journey. Do you think that some of his fears may be you losing weight and looking and feeling better.

Oh no, not at all! About 7 years ago I lost 145 pounds and he was so thrilled. He loved it. He was like the happiest man on earth and couldn't stop buying me clothes.

No. I said in an earlier post, he is a nurse. He works in a skilled nursing facility and says he treats a lot of people who have complications from it. But I don't know how many a lot of people are. But I bet he has a lot of patients who have wound problems from other surgeries as well - because that's what he does. And he even said that himself last night.

He also has a lot of misconceptions about the whole thing. He is not aware that a lot has changed with this surgery since as little as 2004, and he says he doesn't know anyone who has had obesity surgery who is not obese. I don't know to whom he is referring, but he just is not informed.

I will be going to a Center of Bariatric Excellence, as well as my insurance's 6 month pre-op and 2 year post op managed care program. It is no guarantee, but I KNOW that without it isn't either.

He is worried about wound-healing problems, but you know, I had a c-section and 20 years ago an exploratory laparotomy (scar from stem to stern LOL) and was fine, no complications, left the hospital sooner than expected and returned to work MUCH sooner than expected. I had NO healing problems and was up and about and back to myself before I knew it.

While I have some comorbidities now, I see myself as totally healthy and am quite active, so there is no reason to expect complications, but he is worried nonetheless.

He will be fine, and even very supportive, I'm sure, once he learns a little bit more and later when he sees I'm okay. He will probably never want me to do it, though.

He is just scared - and doesn't understand. I mean, he's seen me lose weight, sometimes large amounts, before and doesn't understand why I just don't do it again.

Sigh - Because, you idiot - Yes, I've lost it before - but I'm 230-250 pounds now!!! Don't you get it?

I'm to old to play the yoyo game anymore. If I'm going to lose it, I have to put in place everything I can to make sure that I don't gain it back. If it were only a matter of diet and exercise, I wouldn't be where I am now.

I think he also thinks he will be without a gym partner. LOL. Would you believe he asked me last night if I would still be able to exercise? Obviously I won't be doing an hour on the treadmill with my arms going up and down at the pace I am now the day I get home, but geeze, that is one of the reasons I'm doing this. It is really hard to excercise like I would want when I weigh this much.

I know that a lot of people have had that problem in relationships, and I have had it in other relationships before, but that is just not the case here. He just has a lot of misconceptions and fear.

He'll be fine. I just have to present all this very slowly to him.

[TGG]

It sounds like you have a great relationship!!!
I know what you mean about being active and yet be morbidly overweight. I am more active than many people who are not overweight at all, yet I am carrying and extra 140 lbs. I keep thinking when I lose all of my weight my calf muscles with be ginormous from carrying around my body for all this time