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  817 People Lost in total 71922 lbs = 29.10 % Give us permission to add your before & after Weight Loss Photos |   |
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11-16-2007, 04:37 PM
| #1 (permalink) |
| Whipper Snapper  Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Milwaukee, WI
Posts: 47
Weight Statistics October 24, 2001 Start Date:
October 24, 2001 Surgery Date:
5' 7"
Height:
342 lb Start Weight:
147 lb Current Weight:
150 lb Goal Weight:
195 lb Weight Loss:
-3 lb Lb Left to Lose:
57.0175438596 % % Lost:
Body Mass Index 53.5589218089 BMI Start:
23.0209400757 BMI Current:
23.4907551793 BMI Goal:
  |  Who supports me???
Hi there Everyone! Before I start, let me say I know you guys are here, but what I'm about to say is different from how you guys can help me. I am over 6 years post op, and my life is nuts. I work in an ofice with all men, 11 of them, to which they all NEED something from me, then I go home to more men (husband, son, male dog!), and yes they too need me. I am also the co-founder and leader of a WLS support group and we meet twice a month, and because I am the farthest out, they look to me for the "answers". Everyone needs me and my support. Yet in "MY" life there is no one to support me. We'll recently I just couldn't take much more and had a breakdown. My husband was the most surprised of all, my Mom was not, she could see the writting on the wall. Since then I have seen a Dr, and am going to therapy, to understand why I find the need to put myself last. Life is so good now since surgery,I am physically healthy and I shouldbe enjoying it, but I am not... anyone else like that out there? I just wanted to share... Thanks for listening... have a happy Thanksgiving! I do know that I am thankful for my extended WLS family all over the world! Dawn...
__________________ Dawn in Milwaukee, WI 342/147 Open 10/24/01 "The Journey is the Reward"  |
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11-16-2007, 04:56 PM
| #2 (permalink) |
| Super Moderator  |
(((((((HUGS)))))) Dawn, I think we females as a lot are rather like that. In our long history, socially, we've been drilled somwhere in our minds that we as a role are meant to be the "caretaker". So, most of us automatically assume that role. If any of us put ourselves ahead of the needs of family, we're considered "selfish". Over the years, we get pretty good at putting the needs of the others ahead of ourselves, and to make things worse, the male of our species have drilled, again, socially, into their brians that while they expect women to be either subordinates or partners at most, very rarely as leaders, they still expect us to be "mom"s to them (not moms just to our kids, which keeps our hands and head full enough). So, they expect all of us to be surrogate moms to them while putting us "down" at the same time. (Ah, sorry, no offense to the men of the board, but unfortunately, this happens sooooo often in real life, I have been working in what essentially is, or was until very recently, a "male" world for over 30 years, close to 40 if you count my med student days, so I have come through plenty of flack.) Long winded here, but that's the reason only your mother saw what was comiing--well if you have sisters, they probably saw it coming, too. No surprise there, as your mother probably has experienced that kind of thing herself. I sure hope your hubby has come around with this episode (and won't forget once you are feeling better, husbands have soooo short memories  ) and will be more supportive of you in the future.
__________________ "In every job that must be done, there is an element of fun."   Just a li'l bit 'bout myself  |
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11-16-2007, 05:41 PM
| #3 (permalink) |
| Seasoned Veteran Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Tampa, FL
Posts: 2,028
Blog Entries: 8 Weight Statistics July 10, 2007 Surgery Date:
5' 6"
Height:
271 lb Start Weight:
143 lb Current Weight:
145 lb Goal Weight:
128 lb Weight Loss:
-2 lb Lb Left to Lose:
47.2324723247 % % Lost:
Body Mass Index 43.7357667585 BMI Start:
23.0782828283 BMI Current:
23.4010560147 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss Method Roux en Y Gastric Bypass | Oh, my gosh - I totally understand where you are coming from. I only in the last few years started putting my foot down and standing up and saying, "Is it my turn yet?" Unfortunately, without the episode you mentioned the guys probably wouldnt have even realized there was a problem! I'm glad you are getting the medical/psych support you need and I'm sure you will come thru this an even stronger woman! God Bless You.
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11-16-2007, 06:22 PM
| #4 (permalink) |
| Big Loser |
I can relate to you only too well and I frequently ask the same, as far as who supports me. Like you, it seems I always put others first. I was placed in a position at 7 years old where I had to. I suppose that is part of why I became a nurse. It is probably why I was in a series of abusive relationships before I moved away and got help. And I'm sure it has something to do with my underlying weight problems as well. I have recently been doing some reading about eating disorders and it being a self-harm thing, like cutting. Anyway, you are not alone. I'm pretty sure I'm not either. |
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11-16-2007, 07:01 PM
| #5 (permalink) |
| Seasoned Veteran  Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: WADING RIVER (Long Island), NY
Posts: 5,014
Weight Statistics 7/16/07 Start Date:
7/16/07 Surgery Date:
4' 11"
Height:
230 lb Start Weight:
130 lb Current Weight:
115 lb Goal Weight:
100 lb Weight Loss:
15 lb Lb Left to Lose:
43.4782608696 % % Lost:
12/31/08 Goal Date:
Body Mass Index 46.4492961793 BMI Start:
26.2539500144 BMI Current:
23.2246480896 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss Method Roux en Y Gastric Bypass  |
Awww Dawn Im So Sorry You Had To Go Thru Such A Ruff Time. It Took Me Many Years To Put Myself First Once In A While Because I Used To Be The Same Way As You And I Wasnt Happy And Of Course My Mom Was Also That Way And I Also Watched Her Have A Very Bad Breakdown And I Really Didnt Want That Happening To Me. It Took A Long Time But I Did Change My Ways. Like Write Now Im On The Computer Relaxing And Hubby In In The Kitchen Cleaning Plus He Has Work Tonight. Hun Take Time For Yourself You Deserve So Much. You Have Helped Me In The Past And You Are A Kind Hearted Person And Its Time You Take Care Of You. Hugs Hun Xoxo
__________________ 3/2008 PREG. START WT 144LBS. GOAL WILL HAVE TO WAIT TILL AFTER BABY  230 lbs 7/2007 & 142 lbs 4/2008     |
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11-16-2007, 08:24 PM
| #6 (permalink) |
| WLS Master Guru  Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: fort wayne ,ind.
Posts: 680
Blog Entries: 1 Weight Statistics 9-25-07 Start Date:
9-25-07 Surgery Date:
5' 6"
Height:
344 lb Start Weight:
210 lb Current Weight:
160 lb Goal Weight:
134 lb Weight Loss:
50 lb Lb Left to Lose:
38.9534883721 % % Lost:
1-09 Goal Date:
Body Mass Index 55.5169880624 BMI Start:
33.891184573 BMI Current:
25.8218549128 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss Method Roux en Y Gastric Bypass |
hi, sorry you're having such a tough time.i'll bet things are gonna get better now.you have all of us to support you,and you can email me any time you need to.i know its not the same.i'm alone and i still have a hard time puttng myself first. tae care...
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11-16-2007, 09:09 PM
| #7 (permalink) |
| Guru In Training  Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Cheektowaga, New York
Posts: 333
Weight Statistics November.7.2007 Start Date:
MARCH 11,2008 Surgery Date:
5' 5"
Height:
289 lb Start Weight:
182 lb Current Weight:
150 lb Goal Weight:
107 lb Weight Loss:
32 lb Lb Left to Lose:
37.0242214533 % % Lost:
1 yr from surgery Goal Date:
Body Mass Index 48.0868639053 BMI Start:
30.2830769231 BMI Current:
24.9585798817 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss Method Roux en Y Gastric Bypass |
dm514 it's okay your not the only one this has happened to trust me . sometime it takes all i have to hold myself together for my daughter if only you knew my whole story it's hard ,life is hard but it it okay it doesn't make you less of a person i just recently decided it is time for me now that is one reason i decided to have this surgery if it is gods will it is time for me to take time for myself and let everyone know it i am currently taking a break from nursing school to figure my life out for once it's me time now being a single mother , not dating , being there for my family, hardly any social life at all do to doing for others and trying my best to care for my daughter sometimes i want to just scream for help but i know i'll be put off until everyone else is done so i trudge on by myself
__________________  LETS WEAR BLACK BECAUSE IT'S SEXY, NOT SLIMMING [SIGPIC] POOPOO**I LOST 30 LBS. BEFORE SURGERY LEAVING ME AT 258LBS. PRIOR TO SURGERY** to see pictures go to myspace.com/1reesechick  |
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11-16-2007, 09:11 PM
| #8 (permalink) |
| Whipper Snapper  Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Illinois
Posts: 24
Weight Statistics 10/14/07 Start Date:
10/16/07 Surgery Date:
Height: 242 lb Start Weight:
208 lb Current Weight:
135 lb Goal Weight:
34 lb Weight Loss:
73 lb Lb Left to Lose:
14.0495867769 % % Lost:
04/16/09 Goal Date:
Body Mass Index 42 BMI Start:
Weight Loss Method Roux en Y Gastric Bypass |
Hey Dawn. Nice name, I'm also a Dawn and I'm not too far from Milwaukee. I'm on the Illinois border near Kenosha if your ever in the area. I know exactly what you mean. I have this tendency to be last in line when it comes to "me". In fact, this year I finally call it the "All about me year". It's my turn. To be honest my surgery, which I'm a little over 4 weeks post op, was the start of it all for me. I have always worked in a high stress fast deadline industry which sucked the life out of me and I had a husband along with 3 kids at home that also demanded all my time once I walked in the house. I quit my job to become a full time mom, mainly because my youngest was almost 1 year at the time, and my middle child was born with Dandy Walker (special needs). I quit to make a difference in his life. Needlesstosay, that sucked more life out of me than working and handling the family stuff. Our situations or daily life is different but I can honestly relate to what your feeling. I commend you for seeking help. I never have. I just chucked it up to, I am woman, wife, mother, friend, lover, fighter, house cleaner, chauffer, mediator, the list goes on. Last in line is me and I've run out of time to take care of me. My kids are all in school all day and I've finally got my break and I'm taking advantage of it. I just had my surgery, I will get my release to go to the healthclub in a couple of weeks and I signed up for 3 classes and I'm going back to college in January. I think as women we all experience what your feeling. I don't want to say it's normal, but somehow I think what your feeling is. You need to somehow, take out some time for just you, whatever that may be. Good luck to you.
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11-16-2007, 10:28 PM
| #9 (permalink) |
| Seasoned Veteran  Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Floyd County Virginia
Posts: 3,628
Blog Entries: 1 Weight Statistics September 19th 2007 Start Date:
September 19th 2007 Surgery Date:
5' 10"
Height:
363 lb Start Weight:
201 lb Current Weight:
170 lb Goal Weight:
162 lb Weight Loss:
31 lb Lb Left to Lose:
44.6280991736 % % Lost:
12/31/09 Goal Date:
Body Mass Index 52.0793877551 BMI Start:
28.8373469388 BMI Current:
24.3897959184 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss Method Roux en Y Gastric Bypass |
As all the ladies before me said......... yes I can understand. I could write a book on this one but I wont. Im here for you if you ever need anything.
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11-16-2007, 11:03 PM
| #10 (permalink) |
| Seasoned Veteran Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: WADING RIVER (Long Island), NY
Posts: 5,014
Weight Statistics 7/16/07 Start Date:
7/16/07 Surgery Date:
4' 11"
Height:
230 lb Start Weight:
130 lb Current Weight:
115 lb Goal Weight:
100 lb Weight Loss:
15 lb Lb Left to Lose:
43.4782608696 % % Lost:
12/31/08 Goal Date:
Body Mass Index 46.4492961793 BMI Start:
26.2539500144 BMI Current:
23.2246480896 BMI Goal:
Weight Loss Method Roux en Y Gastric Bypass |
Poochsgirl Thats So Funny My Middle Name Is Dawn.
__________________ 3/2008 PREG. START WT 144LBS. GOAL WILL HAVE TO WAIT TILL AFTER BABY 230 lbs 7/2007 & 142 lbs 4/2008 |
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