[rmyers61]

Hi, I'm new on here. I am divorced after 25 years of marriage. I am 46 years old and single now for 3 years. I am over weight. For my height, and structure, I should be about 140, and I am almost 300 pounds. I come from an abusive marriage, mostly emotional and mental abuse. I did gain weight slowly through the marriage and I did have 3 children. 2 are older and married, but my 14 year old lives with me. I can honestly say that it is in my genes, but, I have had a hard time with eating habits too. There was even a time when my husband compared me being overweight to taking a shower. He said that if I didn't care about gaining weight and him not being attracted to me, that was like him not taking a shower and shaving, would I want to be with him? That hurt, because I really did try to lose weight. I went to weight watchers, tried pills, did phen phen medication, weight loss forever, starving, curves, gyms, home tapes, home exercise equipment, slim fast, 5 meals a day, you name it I tried it, he also told me that I disgusted him and he didn't want to go to bed with me, and then turned around and said that I didn't initiate sex! I did everything that I could to save the marriage, but not lose weight, he even cheated on me and I forgave him, then the second time he cheated, he ran off with a married woman who left her husband, and yes, she was underweight and slim. Oh, well, this is what he wanted and this is what he got, and I don't have the abuse anymore, but am alone, and have gained more weight since he left, now, almost 300 pounds on my body, and am having a hard time. Emotionally, and physically now, you know all of the feelings of being over weight. Especially, since I have trouble doing things and feel tired too. Well, I have finally found some Richmond surgerical group of doctors and I am going to do surgery. Everything has been submitted to my insurance company and now, I am just waiting on their reply. I will fight if I have to to get this done. My problem is, that I have always thought of doing the gastric bypass, and the doctors and my friends are explaining that the lap band is less on my body to handle and just as good. They say that people have lost 100 pounds in the first year with the lap band, and that it can be adjusted as much as I need to continue losing. They say that with the gastric, when your body hits where it should be then you won't lose any more, and that some people even stretch out their stomachs again, and then their back where they started. My friend and her husband are going for the lap band, I am now thinking of that, but since I have failed so many times at so many things I am afraid that I may not lose with the lap band. I think that with the gastric, if I eat something I shouldn't then it will just run through me and make me feel sick so I will learn my lesson. I feel that I have to punish myself in a way to realize that I can't eat like I used to. But I am afraid to do the gastric, because, I hear of people having so many complications, during surgery and after. that some people even die from complications afterwards. I am looking to find out, what kind of complications are associated with the gastric bypass, why do they say that complications after, some people die? What things can happen to me after the gastric? Did everyone on this site go for the gastric? Please respond to me and let me know which surgery you did, how long it took you to get back on your feet, did you suffer from things after the surgery, did you have to go to the emergency room for something from the gastric bypass afterwards, how long before you felt like you didn't have any complications from the surgery, how much weight have you lost and how long has it taken you to do that? I know I'm asking for a lot, but it will help me make up my mind. If I talk to people that have done both, but mostly gastric bypass and know that they are alright, then this may really be what I want. Thank you all for your help. I am looking for support and friendship on here. Maybe we can be a support system for each other. I really need that and will do the same. Thank you,

[MsVickie]

Hi there Im Vickie. Welcome to the board first of all. Honey what you have explained to us here is normal. Yes I used the word normal. You fit in nicely. First i want to say your ex found an excuse. Dont take that all on your shoulders. I personally had Gastic Bypass. The best advice I can give you regarding this is speak with the surgeon you have chose and ask them which is your best route. From what I understand the more weight you need to lose Gastric Bypass seems to be the better route. Now I dont have all the information you need to make your decision. I know they offered both options to me. I held the band in my hands and it was enough to decided against that option for myself. Im sure you will make the right decision for your self. Good luck with it all and again welcome to the boards.

[MsVickie]

Opps I didnt finish.... what you asked. With any surgery there is a risk. ANY! There can always be complications that arise. I did have complications but mine was from a old surgery and adhesions. I knew there was a risk before I had it done because of the adhesions. I more or less had internal bleeding as a result of one that started to bleed a day after surgery. They went back in and fixed it. If you look on the side of this post you can see our surgery dates and how much weight we have lost since our surgery. Each one loses diffently. There is never a set mark.

[armywife2aerial]

Hello I'm Ashley No one can really make the best desison on this for you. speak with your surgeon mabie he/she will tell you what is best. In my case my surgeon told me to chose I could have eather. I chose the RNY because I new I never wanted to change once it was done it was done. I had herd to many story's about people that dont go for the fills or sneak in high calorie foods and such and dont end up losing much. I wanted to be reminded every day of what i had done and the seriousness of it.
I had my surgery almost 5 months ago and I have not regretted doing it one day. I have had a few small complications but every one of them have been worth it. I am down some were about 115 pounds. the weight Is great but I just love feeling better.
I could go on for days but remember that in the end the only person you are doing this for is yourself and your heath not for anyone else. You have to be happy.

good luck

[fr1endly2]

HI regina!
I am your age...with three kids too
and started my journey at 310 lbs.

FOR me yes this surgery has risks
for complications but i was a risk
for a heart attack or stroke at my
morbidly obesite size of 310 lbs.
\
I had my surgery in 2005 and lost
143 lbs. It was the best thing i have done.
ONLY advice i would offer is find the best
careing surgon in your area one that
has lo complication rates
good luck, however this is a choice
only you can make.
AND its a tough one was my
last resort!
hugs

[Trulykath]

Your story sounds like my life with my ex husband...told me I disgusted him etc....

I had gastric bypass, and I'm down nearly 80 pounds in just over 4 months. I opted AWAY from lap band....weight loss is not as fast or significant...and I was pushing 300 pounds too. I was in/out of the hospital in nothing flat, and I went back to work in 12 days. I have not had one single complication, and I'm SO happy I opted the way I did. My only regret was not doing this sooner!

Read all you can here....there are many success stories and remember, it's a life changing event that you MUST be committed to (in order to maintain the weight, not stretch your stomach out, and stay on the plan). You can cheat more easily with lap band...and the gastric keeps you more in line!

Let us know if you have more questions....someone here has gone through it and will be more than happy to help!

[Lch]

I had the gastric and i am so happy i did. You need to make this decision for you, and whatever you decide we are all here to help you through. Good luck and i look forward to hearing what you decided!

[DocSanae]

Welcome to the board, thank you for joining us.
Read as much as you can on this board, you will find lots of things, including the complications that people had. As far as the mortality of this surgery goes, you will need to understand that this is a major surgery, especially the bypass, but the mortality/complication rates are actually not much different from any major surgery, so long as it is done by an experienced and proficient surgeon at a good hospital/bariatric clinic.
As everyone says, you are the only one who can make the decision, so you must read up on everything that you can find.

((((((HUGS)))))) May your journey go well.

[musica102380]

Regina- welcome to the best "new" home you could possibly find. I had my RNY surgery 6 weeks ago and am down 40+lbs. It is the best thing I have ever done for myself. I had no real complications. I never ended up in the ER and have actually only seen my surgeon once since the surgery. Whichever you decide to get you will be happy with the outcome I am sure. I opted for the RNY because I too was pushing 300 lbs and needed the weight off (lots of it) and wanted it off as fast as possible. Please feel free to private msg me with any questions or concerns, I am very open and would be willing to answer any questions.

[wannabe skinny]

regina - hopefully i will be having surgery early in 2008. this is a great web forum full of lots of answers. i suggest you take a lot of time to read the posts here and in addition spend some time on line reading as much as you can about both surgeries. i plan on having RNY surgery because i have played yoyo with my weight my entire life. been on diets losing in excess of 100 pounds probably 5 or 6 times. no surgery is a total fix all - i feel that using this tool of weight loss will help reduce the odds of gaining the weight back. the RNY is permanent where the lapband can be reversed. for me personally i feel that i need all help i can get to not just take off the weight but to keep it off.