[KillerKitten]

Hi, I'm Sarah. Just call me (Killer) Kitten, my online nickname.
I am morbidly obese, miserable and desperate to lose weight and be healthy. At the same time, I do not want to give up my bad eating yet I do...
I want surgery, with other help, to beat this before it is too late for me, but I cannot afford it.
I am Bipolar, and a food addict, as well as several other illnesses.
I am only 30, I want to live to be old, and not always so miserable and sick.
I know about eating better and all that yet I have no clue how to apply it to me and succeed, because I always fail and go back to my old ways.
Maybe here I can find hope...and information.

[DocSanae]

Welcome to the board, thank you for joining us.

Do you have a primary care physician? Since you say you are bipolar, I take it you are under a psychiatrist's care. Have you talked about this with your drs? You know, your drs may be very much concerned, but have not put forward some things, waiting for you to take the initiative first to talk about your problems.
In regards to surgery, do a lot of search and research, to learn whether whatever information about surgery is correct or not. Also, if there is a weight loss clinic or center near where you live, checking them out and getting their information is another choice for you.

It's true you have to modify a lot of your life style with this surgery, but then again, if you want/need to lose weight, whether you do it by surgery or do it by other means, you won't be able to get there without modifying your life style completely and thoroughly.
If you can't figure out how to apply them to yourself, then get professional medical help to aid you in learning how to apply the methods for yourself.
These are a few things that come to my mind that you could do, before making whatever decision about your life you need to make.

Last but not least, please always keep in mind that YOU are the only person who can make the choice about how your future will be healthwise.

(((((((HUGS)))))) May your journey go well.

[KillerKitten]

I'm great at talking and not doing it. VERY good at that.
I do have a doctor, I am being reffered to a dietican again as well I am trying to get extra money from ODSP to join weight watchers.
My doctor and psyciatrist really want me to lose weight. I also need alot of mental work done too, I am in a very dark place.
So much to do, where to start and what to do? Everything costs money ><
I desperatly want lap band surgery. But I cannot afford it.

[DocSanae]

Take things one day at a time, one thing at a time.
My personal opinion is, get your mental work done first, as the trip post op is as much mental as it is physical--so you need to be prepared for that as well. Everything will probably come along in a flow after that, and you'll find yourself in the right spot before you realise.
It may help you to make a list of what needs to be done first, what can be done now, what will need a lot of preparations, which dr can do what for you. Cross matching these lists probably will help you make a list of possibilities in the order that you can get them done. As one or two problems resolve, you may find a new way to resolve other problems, that you don't know of now, or is not an option now.
There actually are unlimited possibilities, but the most important thing is to start with what you have and can do now. Otherwise, you won't get anything done in the end.
((((((HUGS)))))

[clancythecamper]

KK - this is truly a journey and what Doc says about the emotional and mental work is so true, I personally started looking into my surgery of choice around 1999, and my insurance wasnt covering it at the time except in the most extreme cases. So many things in my life have changed since then, I believe you can be healthy and fit and strong - it may seem overwhelming now, but just take one small step in the right direction, then another, then another; you'll get there (of course, there may be detours lol). Glad you found our site ~ best wishes!

[qt82699]

welcome, sorry to hear you have found yourself in such a dark place, do lots of research and reading here, everyone here is really great and supportive, good luck

[traciflud]

Welcome Kitten! Doc is right, there is so much mental to deal with, that is probably why most insurances require a visit with a physciatrist before surgery. And research for the surgery is so important, find a surgeon or hospital in your area that offers a free seminar, that is where I started my journey, it was very helpful to attend one. I had such a bad attitude about having the surgery before I went to one. In my head, I was convinced that I really wasnt all that overweight LOL. Now that I am losing, I cant concince myself that I am looking better, I FEEL better but my eyes dont see the new me emerging, as Doc said, there is a lot of mental work that goes with this! Also, check into medical, or whatever is available, my cousin just had the surgery and used this to have it done. Good Luck on this journey!

[Jaime]

THERE IS SO MUCH MENTAL WORK TO BE DONE, IT IS HARD!!!! I'm going through a lot right now, and I have no choice but to deal with it. If you can get your issues worked out as much as possible, it will be a much easier road once you begin travelling it.

[lazell]

Good Luck Hun, weight and mental issues go hand in hand. I was talking to a guy last night whos miserable. He is a big boy and wants to be healthy <but says he can't imagine giving up the (GOOD) food.Once you give heath a chance it gets easier.I'm enjoying the taste of healthy food now. I never thought I could do it until I finally told myself Yes you can!!!!!!!

[TamTamW]

Good luck on your journey, I never thought that it was possible to give up all the good stuff that I loved to eat, but now after surgery I really don't miss it at all. There is alot of mental stuff that needs to be done both before and after surgery. I hope you can find your way to a healther furture.