Attitude Determines Your Altitude
Many of us post-ops share a common experience of fluctuations in our spiritual and emotion perspective. Due to all of the physical changes your body is put through, you will probably find yourself fluctuating between riding the proverbial pink cloud of exhilaration to the confusing mental fog of periodic depression.
One day, we feel like we can conquer the world. We spring out of bed, make sure our kids and spouse are properly fed, and kiss them tenderly as each one walks out the door with a lunch we have lovingly prepared. We let people merge in front of us during our morning commute and show up to work early, filled with a newfound energy that makes us look like the poster-child for the perfect employee. But, just as we start to really buy into this scenario, we rattle our head back and forth trying to wake up because we know it simply can’t be real. We suddenly bristle with anxiety, afraid of the emotional pain that comes when the rug is pulled out from under our not-so-perfect lives.
The Emotional Roller Coaster
Even when things are good, we allow fear to turn us toward the fog again. As we feel the impact of hitting bottom, we start wallowing in self-pity, whining, ‘Nobody loves me enough.’ Paranoia and resentment quickly set in. Our spouse and children are never satisfied. We are the only ones in the house who pick up after ourselves. At work, people are talking about us behind our backs in the break room. Our boss gets all of the credit for the work we do. Then we get an email that clearly states we will be cursed for 100 years if we don’t forward the same email to at least 25 other people in the next eight minutes. We know how good a person we are on the inside. How come no one will give us the appreciation or credit we really deserve?
Sound familiar? You’ve been there. I’ve been there. We have all found ourselves swinging back and forth between these extremes. Trust me when I tell you that friends, co-workers, and family get just as tired of you going through the ups and downs as you do. Why can’t we just be normal?
Yech, normal. That is a word that we have come to despise, because we have justified our extreme lifestyles by labeling ourselves as gifted, unique, overly creative, yadda, yadda, yadda. Ironically, as much as we dislike the term ‘normal’, we have also learned to fear, dread, and even hate both ends of the spectrum. In this, my friend, you are not alone.
There truly is joy to be found in the simple things. The love we receive from our family really is plenty. As bad as our job can seem at times, we know how many people have been laid off in recent years. Are we living up to our full potential? Only you can answer that for yourself. But, I would like to share with you a tool for realigning our thoughts, which in turn realigns our emotional destination.
Time Waits for No One
Having just turned 40, I am beginning to understand that the minutes, days, and years are not going to wait for me. Time is moving forward with out a single care for my wellbeing. If I sit and do nothing for a specific period of time, that time can justly be considered wasted, or unproductive. This is not a luxury I feel that I really have. I have already wasted a large portion of my life fighting the weight battle. When I chose to have WLS, I was also choosing to claim a new lease on life, a new beginning. I had clearly decided that I wanted to be and act differently, so I could enjoy living life to the fullest. What I found, though, was that although I lost nearly 200 pounds and had become an expert on gaining and losing weight, I knew nothing about how to really live.
I knew where I was in life, and for the most part knew where I wanted to go. But, I knew nothing about how to successfully navigate my journey from here to there. I was in a new and improved body; however, just like with a new sports car, I intuitively knew that I was going to crash if I didn’t learn how to drive this powerful thing.
Fortunately, time is on our side. Since time is always moving forward, we can work with this momentum to direct our own forward motion. While we cannot change the passage of time, harnessing this momentum is the key to achieving a level of contentment in life, where we are either perfectly comfortable or can make small adjustments to achieve serenity.
Up, Up and Away
When I was learning how to fly an airplane, I was taught several theories of flight that directly correlate to the way I live my life. One of the first things I learned was that for me safely stay aloft, I had to understand and accept the rules of what I could and could not control. Just like time, gravity never stops working. I have no ability to command either one to pause while I learn my way around the flying or living business. But, what I do have complete control over in both flying and living is my attitude.
Attitude is an aeronautical term that refers to the relative position of the nose of the aircraft to the horizon. If the horizon is straight out in front of us and I pull back on the yoke of the plane slightly one degree up angle, I have an upward attitude . With continued forward progress I will gain altitude, continuing go higher and higher until I change my attitude . Obviously, the physics of the opposite hold just as true. With the nose of the plane pointed even slightly down, we will begin to lose altitude. The descent will also continue until I have a change of attitude.
In learning the tools to manage my mental, spiritual and emotional altitude, I must also learn how to manage my attitude. Many people believe that our emotional attitude is a state of being, or the result of a situation or circumstance. But in truth, as with flying, our attitude is the direction in which we are pointed. Just like gravity affects a plane, in our lives there are many variables of our environment over which we have no control. Most of the people and events in our life are much better left to grow or happen without us trying to wield inappropriate control over them. We have shown that we have a big enough challenge in managing our own lives, let alone everyone else’s.
In the example of the plane, you could increase the rate of climb by the degree of up angle in its attitude. The same holds true as we fly through life. A change in attitude requires effort. Either a movement on the yoke of the plane or a true decision to change our perspective is necessary to determine our level of flight. I encourage you to start observing how your attitude toward a situation will determine the actual destination.
Watch just how fast you can change the entire altitude—or spirit—of your household by flying in with a down attitude. What do you think will be the success rate of going in to a job interview with the attitude of “I’m not good enough?” You are just as likely to succeed as a plane trying to fly upwards while the nose of the plane is pointed down. Simple? Yes. Always easy? No.
A Change of Direction
So, how do we start to manage a more consistent upward attitude? The first thing is to be able to do an honest system check. The instruments in a plane do not lie. They don’t care how you got where you are, or who got you there. Their only function is to tell you exactly where you are at right now. It is critical that you find some instruments in your daily life to gauge your attitude. I find that self-honesty in this area can be a real challenge at times. Learn to narrow the scope of time down to this very second and take a quick inventory of all of your life’s systems. Gas in the car? “Check.” Food in the fridge? “Check. ” Heartbeat and breathing? “Check.” Everybody perfectly happy around me? “Hmm, nope.” Well, according to this check we have three out of four, which means things are just fine. I have yet to do this quick inventory of now, and not find myself smack dab in the middle of gratitude.
Whenever I experience gratitude, I find that I am also positioned with a positive attitude, which in turn moves me higher in mental and emotional altitude. It took the action and effort of slowing down and taking a quick, honest inventory of now to confirm or reset my attitude. I have had to learn to do these actions regardless of whether it feels right or comfortable. Today, by maintaining vigilance about my attitude, I discover just how much real control I have over my altitude, or where I go in life. The number one benefit is the realization that my emotional altitude is not dependent on any other person. I am not a victim. I chose to take the action to determine my attitude and therefore my altitude.
Today I know that I cannot think my way into right acting, I must act my way into right thinking.
…and for this I am very grateful.
