My Way (Or It Must Be The Wrong Way)

Raise your hand if you are also a control freak.

Geeeez. A lot of you out there, huh?

Recently, I have been catching myself consumed with a familiar desire to run the “entire freakin’ show.” Whether it be my choice of what to eat, the number of Advil I should take, or even how much mortgage to apply for, I’m often firmly convinced that expert recommendations don’t apply to me. Where in the world did I ever get the idea that I know more than a doctor, pharmacist or CPA?

Speaking with other weight loss surgery patients reminds me that I am not terribly unique in thinking that I am the brightest pup in the pound. Not long ago, I had a lady three days post-op tell me that her doctor didn’t know what the heck he was talking about. He could never have really meant three bites per meal. A person can’t survive on that!

In fact, they can, and post-op, they need to. Your body simply can’t handle any more. The funny yet sad part was this woman’s true desire to prove the doctor wrong by showing him just how much she actually could eat. I had to remind her that it was just a few days since she was lying naked in a cold operating room with his hands stuck deep in her belly. Now, all of the sudden, she knows so much better that the doc. She was stuck on really showing him by torturing herself.

Why do we consistently have these challenges with just shuttin’ up and following directions? What are we so afraid of?

All I know is that as brilliant as I am, with all of my creativity, brute strength, and willpower, I was only qualified enough to become so obese that I couldn’t wipe my own bum. I needed help to lose the weight. Real and drastic help. I was willing to do almost anything.

Today, hearing the frustration and anxiety expressed by folks who are desperately trying to get qualified for weight loss surgery helps me to remember how blessed I was nearly eight years ago. That blessing has not faded one bit.

In the end, I’ve learned the best way to maintain control is by being willing to follow the advise of the experts and ask for help when I need it. Trying always to do things my way only leaves me frequently frustrated and occasionally hopeless. I can manage how I feel tomorrow by keeping my mouth shut and doing the right things today.